Illusion
by likeatumbleweed
Summary: Sigyn has an overprotective brother, an overbearing mother, and an overarching duty to the Queen of Asgard as her handmaiden. She begins a relationship with Loki, Prince of Asgard and second in line to the throne. It seems easy, but fate has so much more in store for them than they planned. Loki/Sigyn.
1. Chapter 1

_Author note: I know next to nothing about Marvel!Sigyn, and only the basics of her mythological equivalent. This Sigyn is essentially an OC; her name just seemed simpler to use than anything else. :)_

**_Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno_**

* * *

"Sister, you aren't still in bed, are you?"

Sigyn was sleeping soundly, dreamlessly, when the drapes covering her bedchamber windows were forcefully drawn back, causing sunlight to spill over her face.

She squinted in the bright light, barely making out the tall figure of her brother Edmund as he stood next to the windows. A member of the Royal Guard, he was dressed head to toe in the heavy layers of metal and cloth that made up his armor. He held his helmet under his arm, his brown hair falling around the shoulders of his golden cloak. Even Sigyn had to admit he wore his armor well, and considering the frequency with which he entertained female guests in their shared apartment, she knew she wasn't the only one.

Sigyn groaned and pulled the covers up over her head. "Go away, Edmund," she said from under the blankets, hoping he would leave. "I am not called to be at the palace until later. Can you not allow me some sleep?" He had always been intolerably cheerful in the morning.

She heard his footsteps cross the floor, and was almost convinced he had left her in peace, when the covers were pulled away from her face.

"I'm so sorry," Edmund said, sounding anything but. "Her Majesty has requested your presence early. She sent me personally to find you. Now get up."

This got her attention; the former handmaiden to Queen Frigga had left her position to start a family, and Sigyn had been appointed to replace her fairly recently. It still terrified her to think that she had made a mistake and missed an assigned duty.

"Did she say why?" she asked, sitting up quickly and trying to blink the sleep out of her eyes.

"Sigyn, I don't ask questions of the Queen," said Edmund, exasperation in his voice. "When she asks me to do something, I do it. Now go and get ready before they send someone else to look for us both!"

His tone, as usual, brooked no argument. Sigyn jumped from the bed and pulled on her robe, hastening to ready herself for the day.

The palace was bustling with activity when they arrived. The Queen's birthday celebration was that evening, and the preparations were well under way. Everywhere Sigyn turned, there was activity: fresh flowers were being delivered, food was being prepared, and the banquet hall was being decorated in the jewel tones Queen Frigga favored.

She and Edmund jostled through the crowd, barely managing to avoid knocking over an enormous cake carried by three young men, before they reached the kitchens. Edmund was to report back to the guard station, but he turned once more to her before leaving.

"I'm certain I will see you sometime this evening," he said, eyeing a buxom kitchen maid as she hurried past. "However, as soon as your duties are over, you should return home."

Sigyn narrowed her eyes, crossing her arms across her chest. "Why?"

"I've seen the way some of the other guards look at you, Sigyn. They hold themselves in check when I'm around, but get some drink in them and their flattery may cause you to make a decision you will regret in the morning," he said. "I would not appreciate having to defend my little sister's honor tonight."

Sigyn sighed, barely repressing the urge to slap the smug smile off of his face. "And what of the honor of these maids you so openly ogle?" she asked, just as a group of them walked past, giggling to themselves about what might lay under the armor of a Royal Guard.

"These women are not my sister, Sigyn. It's different."

"Different. I see," she said, rolling her eyes. "You could not be more mistaken about my desires, Edmund. Besides, I think I am perfectly capable of handling myself." Before he could reply and anger her further, Sigyn turned and hurried away, running up the stairs that led to the private wing of the palace.

It had been flattering the first few times one of her brother's fellow sentries had flirted with her. One of them, named Völund, had been determined in his pursuit of her, showering her with gifts and declarations of love, until one night she gave in to his advances. Their coupling was quick and messy, leaving her quite unsatisfied and resentful. Later, alone in her own bed, crying into her pillow as she brought herself release with her own hands, she swore she would never allow herself to be with such an inattentive brute of a lover again.

She had never mentioned her tryst with Völund to Edmund, not wanting to hear his disapproval. For his part, Völund had also remained blessedly silent, preferring to move on to a voluptuous blonde seamstress, so different from Sigyn in every way, especially in her willingness to part her legs for him more than once.

From that point, Sigyn had no interest in the attentions of the other guards. Her mother loved to remind her that Sigyn's position at the palace was ideal for finding a suitable husband, but the intellectual abilities of most of the men she met left too much to be desired. They were almost all rough and brutish, and while most Asgardian women found that desirable enough, it was more than just physical power that Sigyn found attractive.

What truly stimulated Sigyn was a man with intellect, whose mind was sharp and focused. A man of piercing wit and charm, who didn't relegate good conversation to "a woman's hobby", to use Völund's unfortunate turn of phrase.

A man exactly like Prince Loki.

* * *

In the months she had been assigned to serve the Queen, Sigyn had begun to admire the younger prince from afar, never doing more than smiling at him if she happened to catch his eye. He was so different from his boisterous older brother; where Thor was loud and brash, Loki was reserved and thoughtful. It fascinated Sigyn to see how dissimilar the brothers could be, and yet still have such a fierce love for one another.

To everyone in Asgard, it was quite obvious that Queen Frigga loved both of her sons dearly, but Sigyn could tell that she had a particularly strong bond with Loki. Nearly every day when she arrived for her duties, she found him with the Queen, deep in conversation about every topic imaginable: art, horses, food, it didn't matter. Like his mother, he was well versed in everything.

Sigyn had taken to eavesdropping on their conversations as discreetly as possible, noticing that he never mentioned having a lover, male _or_ female, which encouraged her. She made note of Loki's favorite topics as well, so she could study them on her own time.

Once, her newfound knowledge had given her the courage to interject a witty remark into their discussion about the culinary styles of Alfheim, and she was rewarded with an appreciative laugh from the prince. She spent the remainder of that day in a happy daze, replaying that moment over and over again in her head as she went about her duties, thrilled that she hadn't completely embarrassed herself.

When Sigyn entered the Queen's chambers, Queen Frigga was seated at her small writing table, and Loki was there visiting with her as usual, leaning against the wall as his hands animatedly emphasized every word he said. Sigyn tried not to be obvious as she took in the sight of him.

He was dressed in his usual dark attire, black tunic and trousers with tall black boots. On anyone else, it would have looked like mourning garb, but on Loki it was visually striking. He was all long limbs and grace, so different from the typical Asgardian male. His pale skin, angular features, and astonishing green eyes were all set off by a frame of hair the same ebony hue as his clothing. While Sigyn watched, the queen said something that he found funny, and he smiled broadly. She was struck once again by how stunning he was.

She lost herself for a moment, holding her gaze an instant too long, just long enough for Loki to look up from their conversation and directly at her. She dropped her eyes immediately, smoothing out imagined wrinkles in the front of her dress, trying desperately to take the attention off the blush burning on her cheeks.

"Your Majesty," she managed to say. "You sent for me?"

"Ah, Sigyn!" she replied. "Thank you for coming early. I was becoming a little overwhelmed with preparations for this evening when Loki suggested I call you in to help."

At this revelation, Sigyn risked a glance up. Loki was still staring at her, the look on his face unreadable. Her heart rose to her throat and she swallowed hard, trying to calm her sudden nerves. She hadn't even been sure that the prince knew her name.

"I was just preparing a list of things I need for you to see to before this evening," continued the Queen, standing up from her chair and handing Sigyn a sheet of parchment. "Right now I need to go and take care of some last minute details, but if you have any questions I will return soon." She started in the direction of the door, turning back after a few steps to ask Loki if he could accompany her.

"Yes of course, Mother, but if you'll give me just a moment, I need to look at your books. There is a volume I have been intending to borrow," he said, pointedly looking in Sigyn's direction. "Don't wait for me - I'll catch up shortly."

Sigyn could hear the queen's footsteps as she left, and was suddenly and terribly aware that she and the prince were alone. She looked at the list the queen had given her, reading the same lines over and over in an attempt to look occupied.

Sneaking a glance at Loki, Sigyn watched him as he walked to the bookshelf nearest to him and removed the first book he came to, not even bothering to read the spine.

"Sigyn," he said, and her name on his lips put a knot in her stomach. "You think you have slipped my notice. I assure you, you have not." He turned to her, his eyes boring into hers as if to emphasize his words. Sigyn couldn't tear her gaze from him.

He approached her, his footsteps slow but determined. "I hope I haven't misinterpreted your behavior. You seem quite eager for my attention."

Sigyn's mouth went dry as he neared her. She was suddenly unable to form a coherent thought that didn't involve doing unspeakable things with the prince in his bedchambers, and she was terrified he would see it in her eyes.

She swallowed hard. "I have only ever hoped that you would see me in a favorable light, Your Highness. Nothing more. It would be foolish of me to wish otherwise."

He stopped within arms reach of her. "I have suffered many fools in my life, Sigyn. I don't believe I would count you among them."

"I am flattered," she said. "But, you barely know me."

"I know more than you think. And I would get to know you better, if you would allow it."

_Allow it?_ "I would certainly be in no position to deny you what you want, Your Highness." Sigyn regretted the words immediately; they sounded so much more indecent than she had intended. Her hand flexed involuntarily, crumpling the edge of the parchment she held.

"What I want?" Loki smiled at her. It was not quite a leer, but the knot in her stomach intensified at the sight of it. "What I want from you is just some of your time. Tonight at the celebration. A chance to talk and see if my suspicions about you are true."

"Your suspicions?"

He closed the distance between them, and started to pass her, stopping when they were shoulder to shoulder. He leaned in closely. "I suspect that you would be well worth getting to know more...intimately."

Sigyn's eyes widened and she shuddered in a breath. "Your Highn-," she began, turning to face him, but her words faded on her tongue. She didn't know how, but he had vanished, leaving her alone with only her increasingly filthy thoughts to keep her company.

She collapsed into the nearest chair, her heart hammering in her chest, wondering how she was going to make it through the rest of the day intact.


	2. Chapter 2

By the time Queen Frigga returned to her chambers, Sigyn had composed herself and was fully absorbed in her duties. With her mind focused on her work and her service to the Queen, the day went by quickly.

No mention was made of Loki and what they may have discussed, the Queen only alluding to any knowledge she held by suggesting that Sigyn wear her hair up that evening. _You have such a lovely face, dear; you should not obstruct it. There are those who look upon you with great interest._

After her duties were complete, Sigyn was permitted to go back home and freshen up for the evenings festivities. While she would still be expected to serve the Queen for a time at the celebration, she would also be allowed time to enjoy herself on her own. She wanted to be sure and look her best.

She opened the door to her apartment to find her mother waiting for her. Sigyn was taller than her mother, but Dagmar's imposing presence always had the effect of making Sigyn feel as though she was a small child.

"Sigyn!" Dagmar stood up from the dining table, a necklace in one hand and matching earrings in the other. "I brought some of my best jewels for you to wear tonight," she said, holding the earrings up for Sigyn's inspection. "I was going to save these for your wedding day, but..." Her words trailed off, the unspoken thoughts of _I fear that will never happen_ all too clear in her eyes. "We need to make sure you look presentable. There will be so many eligible bachelors there tonight - we cannot afford to lose _any_ opportunity to catch their attentions."

Sigyn and Edmund's father, a minor Asgardian noble, had died a few years prior, a casualty of a disastrous diplomatic mission to Niðavellir. Since that time, their mother had pinned all of her hopes for Sigyn on her finding a wealthy husband, the higher in society the better.

"Mother, do you not trust me to be able to groom myself?" said Sigyn. She loved her mother dearly, and she knew Dagmar meant well, but her constant interfering was exhausting.

"Of course I do," said Dagmar, her actions indicating just the opposite, brushing some stray lint off the sleeve of Sigyn's dress and fussing over her hair. "I just thought you might like the advice of a female for something as important as this. Edmund is not one to turn to for suggestions on clothing, you know."

Edmund probably would have insisted that Sigyn wear her most unflattering dress in the hopes of discouraging attention, as shielding as he was. Her mother and brother's contradictory opinions regarding Sigyn's romantic life were quite a source of frustration.

_If things go well this evening_, thought Sigyn, _perhaps they will both have reason to leave me to my own affairs._

Sigyn walked to her room, her mother close behind. Peering into her wardrobe, she decided on a blue dress she hadn't worn in a while, one that she felt emphasized all of her best features.

"Oh, that one is lovely dear. It matches your eyes so well. Now come - let us get you prepared."

Sigyn allowed her mother to draw her a bath, shooing her out of the bathroom so she could soak in peace. She sank into the water, letting her mind wander to her earlier conversation with the prince.

_I suspect that you would be well worth getting to know more...intimately_, he had said. Had he merely been playing with her, hoping to intimidate her? And if so, to what end? He had quite the reputation in Asgard for trickery and deception, but Sigyn didn't know how many of the rumors were true. He had certainly seemed sincere enough.

It was enough to drive her mad. Mad with confusion, frustration, and above all, desire.

That she desired him wasn't even a question. It was the _why _that concerned her. Was it because her last - admittedly disastrous - encounter had been so long ago? Or was her mother's insistence on finding a highly placed husband clouding her judgment, causing her to desperately look for a connection that wasn't there? She would know the answer soon enough, but it still bothered her to think her mother might be proved right.

A sharp knock on the door drew her from her thoughts, and she realized that the water had turned lukewarm. She must have been in much longer than she thought.

"Sigyn, we need to finish getting you ready."

"Just a moment, mother." Dagmar's insistence on using the term 'we' in their conversations was exasperating. She spoke as if they were both being trotted out as potential trophies to willing suitors.

In fact, Sigyn didn't understand why her mother didn't try to find another husband for herself. There had been a customary mourning period after Sigyn's father died, but that had ended long ago. Dagmar would certainly not have been looked upon unfavorably by society had she chosen to remarry. But instead, she had focused all of her attention on Sigyn's future.

Dagmar had never even asked Sigyn if she _wanted_ to settle down, assuming that like most Asgardian women, finding a husband and bearing children were at the forefront of her mind. Sigyn had instead always dreamed of furthering her education, perhaps even becoming a diplomat as her father had been. But with every day that passed, those dreams seemed less and less likely to ever come to fruition.

Sigyn took a deep breath and stepped from the bath. She dressed quickly, sitting on the sofa to allow her mother to comb through her hair. Her mother suggested she wear it down - _it looks so lovely around your shoulders dearest_ - but Sigyn convinced her to pin it up, insisting that it was to keep it out of her way as she went about her duties.

She kept the news of her conversation with Prince Loki to herself. Sigyn was not ready for her mother to have that information quite yet, knowing that if Dagmar had even the slightest hint that one of the royal sons had expressed interest in her daughter, she wouldn't be able to contain her excitement, potentially ruining anything before it even began.

Her relationship with the prince was tenuous at best, and she wanted to protect it. Her mother could wait a little longer.

* * *

Loki could hear Thor's thunderous footsteps long before they reached the door to his chambers. In a battle, his brother's inability to quietly slink anywhere caused Loki much distress; at home however, he was grateful for it. He wasn't fond of surprises.

As usual, Thor entered without knocking.

"Mother's birthday celebration is tonight, and here you are, nose in your books. Why am I not surprised?"

"Hello, Thor. Yes, please, do come in," said Loki, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Naturally, Thor didn't pick up on it; his complete lack of guile made it difficult for Thor to recognize mockery, even when it was aimed directly at him.

"You would do well to at least open the curtains," said Thor, doing exactly that. "It is as dark as a cave in here. Soon, children will scuttle from you as they would a troll."

"Perhaps I should make my home under the Bifröst, demanding payment from those who wish to pass," muttered Loki. He had yet to lift his eyes from his book of spells, hoping his brother would take the hint and leave him to his studies. With the celebration preparations, he'd had precious little time to himself.

After a moment, it was obvious that Thor had no intention of leaving. "What do you want, Thor?"

Thor walked over to the desk, unceremoniously grabbing the book from Loki's hands. "I have just heard the most amazing news about you, and I'm here to confirm it for myself."

Loki gritted his teeth and leaned back in his chair, stretching his long legs out onto the surface of his desk. "I can't imagine what you have been told that would have you so worked up," he said, folding his arms across his chest.

"I've just come from visiting with Mother, and she told me that you have expressed interest in courting her handmaiden Sigyn," said Thor, his face splitting into a wide smile as he leaned onto the desk, looking down at his little brother.

"Is that so?" said Loki, his face a mask of indifference.

"I was beginning to believe you had forgotten just how warm a woman can be compared to the books you sleep with every night," he said, indicating the volumes of works covering every available surface of Lokis' chambers. "Or perhaps that you had forsaken women all together."

Loki bristled. "I'll thank you to keep your opinions about my lack of companionship to yourself, Thor."

"I meant no offense, Loki," said Thor, plopping himself down onto the sofa at the foot of Loki's bed. "I just worry about you. I want you to be happy."

"And why do you assume I'm not?"

"Well, _I_ certainly wouldn't be if I'd gone as long as you have without a woman."

"By the Nine...why is everyone so concerned about my bed and whom I share it with?"

Thor flipped idly through the spell book he had taken from Loki, having no luck understanding the contents. Frustrated, he snapped it shut, pointing it at his brother to punctuate his words. "Perhaps a night with a young maiden is just the thing you need to cure your foul temper."

"Perhaps you leaving my chambers would work faster," said Loki. "I have work to do Thor, and you are keeping me from it." Removing his feet from his desk, he picked up another spell book and opened it to a well worn page, earmarked and covered in handwritten notes.

"So, you do not deny it then?"

"Deny what?" said Loki, his eyes never leaving the page of the book.

"Mother's handmaiden! Have you not been paying attention to this conversation at all?"

Loki set his book down with a sigh and turned to Thor. "I do not deny it. Now will you leave me in peace?"

"That is wonderful!" said Thor, pointedly ignoring Loki's request. "She is quite lovely. Perhaps less voluptuous than I would prefer..."

"_Your_ preferences are irrelevant," said Loki, cutting him off. "Besides, does Sif know of your predilection for chesty women?"

"You do not know what lies under Sif's armor, Loki. It hides more than you think."

"You can keep the details to yourself, brother," said Loki, unable to suppress a small grin. He fingered the edge of his book nervously, and after a moment he spoke again. "Thor, you know I value your opinion above all others."

"And I yours, brother."

Loki took a deep breath, collecting his thoughts. "Do you think it unwise of me to pursue her?"

Thor leaned forward from his seat, looking Loki directly in the eyes. It always disarmed him for Loki to show any vulnerability. "Does she make you happy?"

"She intrigues me," said Loki. "That makes me hopeful."

Thor stood, walking around to Loki's side of the desk to clap him on the shoulder. "Then I will happily bless your union, and pray that the fruit of your loins be abundant."

Loki rolled his eyes, shrugging Thor's hand away. "It's a little early to plan a wedding, brother. Now if you don't mind, I would like to get some work done before this evening," returning to his book. "You can see yourself out."

Loki made a quick motion with his hand, opening the door to his chambers from across the room. Thor finally took the hint and left without another word, smiling once more at Loki in that infuriatingly disarming way he had.

Loki was glad he hadn't needed to resort to more drastic measures to make him leave. Once, Thor had pressed Loki's patience too far, causing Loki to use a fairly powerful spell to transport him to the women's bathhouse. Loki didn't want to explain something like that to their parents ever again.

After his brother's visit, Loki tried his best to continue his studies, but gave up fairly quickly. Studying spells required every bit of concentration he had, and he couldn't keep his mind from wandering after Thor left. Wandering to thoughts of Sigyn.

* * *

His mother had employed beautiful handmaidens before, but few of them had ever held Loki's attention. Even when they had, they were almost never interested in the smaller, more studious brother when brawny and brash Thor was around.

Even Sigyn, for all her physical charms, may never have garnered a second glance if he hadn't spied on her.

It was something he did with all of his mother's handmaidens at least once, something the Queen herself had asked of him. She wanted to be sure none of them were taking advantage of her, and so naturally she asked Loki for his help. His mastery of concealment, something that served him so well in battle, could be used to ferret out anyone wishing to do her harm.

And so, he had been asked once again for his help when Sigyn had been appointed, and he had done so without hesitation.

Almost all of his mother's prior handmaidens, when left unchecked, would quietly poke around when the Queen was not there, admiring her clothing, perhaps even her jewelry if they were bold. Loki had only ever caught one of them trying to take anything, and she was quickly and decisively replaced.

But it was different with Sigyn. When Loki spied on her, what he saw fascinated him. He found her to be a hard worker, diligent in her job and her service to his mother, just as he had hoped.

But occasionally, when the opportunity arose and she was unsupervised, she would browse the books in the Queen's collection. She never asked to borrow any of them, instead relying on discreetly placed bookmarks and stolen moments to read them, slowly but methodically.

Never once had any of his mother's previous handmaidens even bothered to look at her extensive collection of books. The fact that Sigyn not only looked, but _studied_ them, awoke something in Loki - something that had lain dormant in him for so long.

Thor was correct when he surmised that Loki had been without a lover for quite some time. Fandral had even thought to make a joke at Loki's expense once, suggesting to Thor that maybe Loki was more interested in horses than women when he thought he was out of earshot. Loki knew he shouldn't have been offended by his words - it was _Fandral_ of all people, a man who had quite likely bedded half the women in the palace court - but they stung all the same.

Had he wanted to, Loki could easily have found someone to warm his bed at night. There was hardly a woman in Asgard who would turn down an opportunity to be bedded by one of the princes, no matter what type of man they preferred.

However, the truth was that Loki had lost interest in courting women who lacked curiosity and intellect - the very qualities that Sigyn seemed to have in abundance. He had to know more about her, so he began to visit his mother - and by extension, Sigyn - every chance he had.

Loki noticed immediately that his interest in Sigyn seemed to be reciprocated. He knew she listened intently to his conversations with his mother, trying not to be intrusive. He would frequently catch her watching him when she thought he wasn't looking, the blush on her cheeks giving her away every time.

Over the years, Loki had become adept at hiding his feelings when he wanted to, but he found it nearly impossible to deceive his mother. He knew Frigga loved his visits, but the fact that the frequency of those visits had increased dramatically after Sigyn's appointment did not escape her notice.

That morning, when he had suggested calling Sigyn in early, his mother had finally cornered him about his intentions. _Loki, you are my son, and in some ways I know you better than you know yourself. If you wish to court Sigyn, I would not oppose it._ He would never have gone against his mother's wishes had she disapproved, and her encouragement was of great comfort and relief to him.

Sigyn had shown up moments later, and his mother, in her wisdom, had presented him with the perfect opportunity to speak to Sigyn alone. Loki had tested her, using both his physical presence and his language to deliberately provoke a reaction in her, and she had not disappointed.

He had not been lying when he told Sigyn that he was very much looking forward to getting to know her better intimately. In every sense of the word.


	3. Chapter 3

Dagmar would have been well within her rights to attend the Queen's celebration, but after much begging from Sigyn, she agreed to go back home instead. The last thing Sigyn wanted was for her mother to be at the festivities, shadowing her every move and generally making Sigyn more nervous than she already was.

Sigyn made her way back to the palace, going directly to the Queen's chambers to help her finish getting ready for the evening. Prince Thor had been on his way from visiting with his mother, and had passed her in the corridor, nodding and smiling at her in a way that suggested he held some secret knowledge. It did nothing to alleviate her anxiety.

After finishing with the Queen's preparations, Sigyn went ahead to the banquet hall to make sure things were on schedule and await the arrival of the royal family with the rest of the guests.

Just before they were scheduled to arrive, Sigyn made her way to the front of the crowd. She wanted the Queen to be able to find her immediately if she needed her assistance; however, she also wanted an unobstructed view of the royal family, and more specifically, Prince Loki. She smoothed her hands over her dress nervously while she waited, willing herself to take slow and even breaths.

The sentinels guarding the door stepped aside, and the royal family was announced. The Queen came through on the arm of her husband the King, their two sons on either side of them, all of them resplendent in their ceremonial attire.

To the right of the King was Prince Thor, his silver armor shining brightly against the dark blue of his clothing. Along with his royal bearing and infectious smile, his long red cape and winged helmet made him look every inch the crown prince he was. Sigyn thought to herself that when the day came, and he settled into his birthright, he was likely going to surpass his father in popularity.

Yet for all of Thor's charisma, Sigyn's attention was drawn to Prince Loki, standing to the left of his mother, and mere steps away from Sigyn. It was the first time she had ever seen him up close in his formal armor. He looked glorious, the black and green of his clothing and cape contrasting sharply with the warm gold of his armor. His clothing alone served to give him an imposing presence; however it was his helmet, with its wickedly curved horns adding to his already commanding height, that took her breath away.

If Thor could be compared to the daylight, bright and radiant, then Loki - Thor's counterpoint and opposite in every way - would certainly be the night. But the night had always been magical to Sigyn. It had a different sort of glow, cool and comforting. The night was full of secrets - and Sigyn wished to learn every one.

Loki turned his head, his eyes scanning the crowd, until he found Sigyn. He smiled at her, and Sigyn wondered what his mouth would feel like on hers, and if she would find out soon. Her heart jolted at the thought.

The royal family made their way to a table on a dais at the front of the room. Sigyn was seated directly in front of the platform with other palace staff, handmaidens and menservants who like her, were from minor noble families. A few times, she tried to talk to her tablemates, but she was too distracted to keep up with their conversations for any length of time.

If she hadn't known better, she would have guessed that Loki had arranged for her seat to be facing him directly. Every time she raised her eyes his direction, he was looking her way, smiling but enigmatic. She felt as though he was studying her, and could only hope that he approved of what he saw.

Soon, the meal was over, and the tables were cleared and moved away to leave the middle of the hall open. Musicians appeared at the edge of the room, and the crowd made its way to the center to mingle and dance.

Sigyn watched as Loki made his way through the crowd. He had a quiet, easy way about him, charming and polite. It was clear to her that when Thor became king, Loki would be his most trusted advisor, able to handle the diplomacy and tact that Thor couldn't manage on his own.

She noticed that Loki was never far away, his movements shadowing hers, the guests with whom he chose to visit always in close proximity to her location.

Not for the first time, she wondered if it was all just a game to him. If she was just another piece to be played with and discarded once the game had concluded. But she knew she could no sooner stop playing than she could stop breathing. She was invested now, and would see this game through to its inevitable conclusion, whatever it might be.

* * *

Loki had not been able to keep his eyes off of Sigyn all evening. From the time he had arrived with his family and found her in the crowd, he had been utterly captivated.

She looked beautiful, her soft brown hair pinned up and her dress accentuating every curve of her body. The sight of her had warmed him up considerably, and he was thrilled when he was finally able to remove his helmet when the food was served.

At the meal, Thor noticed that Loki's food remained barely touched.

"You should eat, Loki," he said. "You will likely need your strength for later."

"What do you mean?" said Loki with a sigh, picking at his food. He knew exactly what Thor meant. Subtlety was never Thor's greatest strength.

"Your eyes haven't left her all evening," said Thor, gesturing Sigyn's direction with his fork. "Do you not wish to bed her?"

Loki hissed through his teeth. "Must you always be so crass, Thor?", was his only reply, even as his thoughts went to Sigyn's dress and how lovely it would look on his bedchamber floor. _  
_

Loki was certain Sigyn would not deny him if he asked her to spend the night with him; however, the desire he felt for her was more than merely physical. She deserved to be courted properly, and he intended to do just that.

But first, he had to make it through this interminable celebration.

As intensely as Loki wanted to find Sigyn and whisk her away, his duties as a prince had to come first. Once the meal was over and the tables cleared away, Loki made his way through the crowd, mingling and cajoling the guests with as much enthusiasm as he could muster.

Even as he endured yet another lengthy diatribe from a diplomat about some issue on Muspelheim - or was it Vanaheim? Loki couldn't remember - he kept Sigyn in his sights, waiting patiently for a chance to pull her aside and escape the crowd.

At his first opportunity, Loki excused himself from his guest's company and made his way to a table near the back of the room. His patience had run thin. If the opportunity to get to Sigyn was not going to present itself, he would just have to take matters into his own hands.

* * *

Sigyn was nervous.

Edmund had cornered her by a table at the edge of the room, trying his best to persuade her to go home, and she was certain that Prince Loki would choose this exact moment to come find her. Sigyn wasn't sure that Edmund would be able to keep it from their mother if he started to suspect anything.

"Sigyn, it's getting late. Surely the Queen is finished with your services for the evening?"

"I'm sorry Edmund, but she has asked me to stay for a while longer," said Sigyn. "At least until she's ready to retire for the evening." For a moment, she almost felt bad for lying to Edmund with such ease, but she pushed it aside.

"Well, at least Mother isn't here," replied Edmund. "I know you hate these functions, Sigyn, with her putting you on display like a prized pony."

"I do enjoy myself a bit more when she's not around to direct my every move," she said. She glanced around, afraid that she would see the prince approaching at any moment.

She took Edmund's arm, turning him the other direction to encourage him to leave. "You really don't have to hover over me, you know. Isn't there some young maiden waiting for you somewhere?"

"Now that you mention it, I do see someone who needs my attention," he said, an impish smirk on his face. He began to hurry off in the direction of the kitchens, turning back to Sigyn one last time after a few steps. "Just, please, don't stay out too late. I do worry about you, you know."

"Yes, yes. Now go!" she said, shooing him away.

As she watched Edmund dash away, Sigyn realized that she hadn't seen Loki in quite some time. She looked around, searching the crowd for his dark hair, finding no sign of him.

After several moments, she stopped looking. He had been so close all evening, and now he was nowhere to be found. She sighed, mentally chastising herself. _Of course he's gone Sigyn. He must have seen enough of you to realize his mistake. It doesn't matter what he said - you _are_ a fool to think he would want to spend time with you._

A member of the kitchen staff passed her carrying a tray of wine, and she grabbed a glass off of it before he was out of reach. She downed it in two great gulps, wincing at the bitterness in her throat, before setting the glass on the nearest table.

She would need to find the Queen and make her excuses first, but Sigyn suddenly wanted nothing more at that moment than to go home, go to bed, and forget her silly fantasies.

She started toward the part of the room where she had seen the Queen last, when a bright light flashed from a table at the back of the room, followed quickly by another, and then several more.

Tiny fireworks in every color imaginable lit up the air around the Queen's cake, illuminating the faces of the crowd. Every person in the room turned that direction, gasping with surprise and delight.

Sigyn was equally entranced by the display. She was just about to make her way toward it, when a hand on her elbow stopped her.

"Sigyn."

Her heart suddenly in her throat, Sigyn turned to the sound of her name, the voice in her ears the same one she had replayed in her mind over and over again all evening.

"My mother has no more need of you this evening," said Prince Loki, holding his arm out to her. "Will you walk with me?"

"Of course, Your Highness," she said with a smile, before taking Loki's arm and allowing him to escort her out of a door at the side of the hall, and into the royal gardens.

* * *

"Those fireworks," said Sigyn as they entered a grove of apple trees. "They were amazing. Was that your doing?"

"Yes," said Loki, a wide smile lighting up his face. "I have been patiently waiting all night to spend time with you. If I had to listen to one more long-winded diplomat prattle on, I was going to go mad."

She didn't know if it was the wine she had consumed or the fact that she was walking arm in arm with the prince - it was almost certainly a bit of both - but Sigyn's mind had begun to buzz pleasantly. She couldn't help but grin at him, hoping that she didn't look too idiotic.

"In all sincerity, I was afraid I had dreamed our conversation earlier," she said. She regretted the way the words made her sound desperate, but the alcohol's effect on her head had loosened her tongue.

"This is no dream," he said, smiling back at her. "And if it is, I do not wish to be awakened."

They began to turn a corner, when a familiar voice caught Sigyn's attention. Before they were able to step from the shadows she stopped short, pulling the prince back and allowing the dark to hide the two of them a moment longer.

She risked a peek around the turn, finding her brother Edmund with a maiden giggling at his side. Sigyn recognized her as the well-endowed kitchen maid that had passed the two of them in the corridor earlier in the day. He whispered into the maid's ear, and the blush she sprouted, evident even in the dim light, told Sigyn that his intentions were far from innocent.

"Ah, it seems we have found some passionate creatures on the prowl tonight," said Loki. "But why have you stopped? Surely you don't mean to watch them."

"No!" said Sigyn, a bit too forcefully. She took a deep breath. "Forgive me, Your Highness, but that is my brother. I cannot allow him to see me."

"Why not?" Loki asked, his brows knitting together. "Are you ashamed to be seen with me?" He looked genuinely offended by the very idea.

"Oh no! It's not that at all!", said Sigyn, desperate to explain. "It's just...well, my brother is very...overprotective. He would never allow us to pass without a disapproving comment to me later."

"You certainly appear to be a grown adult," said Loki, standing back and taking her in. "Do you always give your brother so much authority over you and your choices?"

Sigyn lowered her head, unable to reply. She stole a look around the corner again, just in time to see Edmund and his prize make their way behind a stand of tall rose bushes, his hands deftly beginning to unlace the front of her dress.

Loki watched them, and turned to Sigyn in disbelief. "He seeks to control you, yet he chooses to satisfy his own lust in the gardens of the palace. That doesn't seem fair, does it?" His eyes narrowed just a bit, a small smile playing at his lips. "How about we have a bit of fun at his expense?"

"Oh, no Your Highness, I couldn't-" Sigyn began to protest, swallowing the last of her words when the prince leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. It was the smallest of kisses, as chaste as one shared between children, but she was struck dumb. As he pulled back, Sigyn couldn't help but dart her tongue out to taste her lips.

"There, I think we are familiar enough now. I would like it if you just call me Loki," he said, running his thumb over Sigyn's cheek.

"Yes, Your High-", she started, catching herself. "Loki. I would like that, too."

"Sigyn, I too have an older brother who would condemn me to a life of his rules if I allowed it. Let me show you how it feels to take some of the control you have always wanted."

He stepped behind Sigyn, turning her toward the bushes. Reaching around her, he raised his hand, splaying fingers that had taken on a ghostly green hue. Suddenly, he dropped his hand sharply toward the ground, and every last leaf and rose petal on the bushes disintegrated, leaving Edmund and his now topless lover completely exposed behind the bare branches.

Sigyn barely registered their shouts of surprise and indignation as Loki took her by the hand, quickly leading her down the nearest path.


	4. Chapter 4

Loki couldn't remember the last time he had asked a woman to call him by his name.

The formality of his title had always been an excellent way to shield himself, to remain distant and aloof. To keep from getting too close to someone. He had taken women to bed who never had the privilege of calling him anything other than Your Highness.

So he had surprised himself when he asked Sigyn to call him Loki. He had desperately wanted to hear it from her lips, and it had sounded just as lovely as he thought it would. Just watching her sound it out, her pink tongue touching her upper teeth to pronounce the first syllable, excited him.

He wanted her to say it over and over, to whisper it in his ear, to scream it to the heavens until she was breathless.

_Patience_, he thought to himself. _All in good time_.

He had asked if Sigyn had liked the meal, and she admitted that she had barely eaten.

"I confess, I have been nervous all day," she said. "Ever since you spoke to me this morning. Ever since you said you wanted to get to know me more..._intimately_."

The last word was barely a whisper, and Sigyn flushed bright red from her hair to the neckline of her gown.

"There's no need to be nervous, Sigyn," he said. "Tonight, I merely wish to talk."

"In all honesty, it's difficult to relax. You look so regal," she said, indicating the armor he wore. "You're a bit intimidating."

"Here, maybe this will help."

He stepped back from her, holding his arms loosely at his sides. Starting at the center of his chest and spreading out, his metal armor began to shimmer and disappear from his body. After a moment, he was left with just his black underclothing, with a long black overcoat taking the place of his cape.

"Ah, this is much better," he said. "My armor may look menacing, but it certainly isn't made for comfort. Perhaps we can both relax a bit more now."

She stared at him, agape. "How did you do that?"

"It's difficult to explain," he said. "Besides, a good sorcerer never gives up his secrets."

"And do you have a lot of secrets, Loki?"

"Doesn't everyone?"

Sigyn laughed. "Fair enough."

They came to a trellis, heavy with blossoms, with a bench beneath it. Loki sat, patting the bench beside him.

"Sigyn, I must admit you have me at a slight disadvantage," he said, as Sigyn settled in next to him. "You know much about me, and yet I know so little about you."

"What do you wish to know?" asked Sigyn. She couldn't begin to imagine what a prince would find fascinating about her life.

"Everything," said Loki. "Every detail about you, no matter how small." He smiled at her. "Start with your family."

She told him about her brother and her parents. Their happy marriage, her content childhood. How all of that had changed when her father died.

"I am truly sorry for your loss," said Loki, taking her hand in his. "I remember that incident. I am embarrassed to admit, sometimes up here, in this palace…it's easy to forget the families who are affected by events such as those."

It still hurt for Sigyn to think about her father, even after so long. She felt a tear gathering at the edge of her eye, and she reached up to brush it away.

"I had hoped to follow in my father's footsteps one day, to become a diplomat as he was." She shook her head. "But my mother insisted instead that I work towards an appointment in the palace. Insisted that it was safe. I'm not so sure she was correct."

"What do you mean?" asked Loki. "Surely you feel no danger as my mother's handmaiden."

"Had I not been appointed to your mother, in all likelihood we would never have met, Loki," she said. "You...you make me feel vulnerable."

"I mean you no harm, Sigyn," he said, placing his hand on her knee. "I am very fond of you."

She placed her hand over his, enjoying the warmth of his skin. "But, why me? Surely there are countless other women vying for your company."

"Not as many as you might think," said Loki, shaking his head. "It helps that I'm a prince, but I am only the second son, second in line to the throne. Second best to so many."

"Not to me," said Sigyn, lowering her eyes. She stroked the fingers of his hand.

He pulled his hand back, placing it under her chin to raise her eyes to his. "You make me believe that. That is why I wanted to get to know you better," said Loki. "Your curiosity, your intelligence, your _vibrancy_…" He stopped, as if gathering his thoughts.

Sigyn thought he looked as if he wanted to say more; however, he stood abruptly instead, holding his hand out to her.

"Come with me. I want to show you something."

Loki led her through the palace, up a back staircase to a vast terrace overlooking the expanse of Asgard.

"It's so beautiful up here," said Sigyn, leaning onto the railing. From their vantage point, Sigyn could see the Bifröst as stretched out to the horizon, the glitter of its surface perfectly mirroring that of the sky.

The night was clear and cold. A slight breeze ran across her skin, causing her to shiver.

"Here," said Loki. "Let me warm you."

He moved his hand sharply to his side, and a woolen shawl appeared in his grasp, created right out of the very air around him. He placed it on her shoulders, pulling it up around her neck. "Better?"

"Yes, thank you," said Sigyn, snuggling into the fabric. "Loki, I don't think your talents will ever cease to amaze me."

"Oh, you have yet to be apprised of all my talents," said Loki, grinning at her. "Conjuring a shawl is the least of my abilities."

Sigyn swallowed hard, imagining what other abilities he might have and when he might share them with her. She decided to change the subject. "Do you spend a lot of time up here?"

"I enjoy studying here on occasion," said Loki. "It gives me open space where I can practice certain spells in relative privacy."

"Certain spells?"

"Here," said Loki. "Let me show you."

He walked to the edge of the terrace, facing the side wall. He stopped there, raising his hands in front of his chest, palms out, and drawing them slowly apart.

Directly in front of him appeared a large rectangular box, taller and wider than him, shimmering a ghostly green before becoming solid.

"That is impressive," said Sigyn. "But...what does it do?"

"It catches things."

Sigyn tilted her head, puzzled.

"Just watch," said Loki. He strode the length of the terrace to the opposite wall. "Please, though, do stay where you are. I don't want you to get hurt."

Her curiosity piqued, Sigyn nodded her head, pushing her body against the railing tightly.

Loki, still facing away from the box, cupped his hands together at his chest. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and focused. Immediately, his hands began to glow a faint blue.

Setting his shoulders, he swiftly turned on his heels, graceful as a dancer, the tails of his overcoat fanning out from his body. His right hand pitched sharply forward, and three knives of ice flew from his fingertips, embedding themselves in the large box with a hollow thud.

Sigyn's hand flew to her mouth, her eyes wide with astonishment. "Oh. Oh my."

Loki turned to her, grinning at her reaction. "You can see why I might need open spaces for that particular spell." He walked back to the box, reversing his movements from earlier to make it disappear, knives still in its surface, before rejoining Sigyn at the railing.

"That was astonishing," said Sigyn. "How do you make it look so easy?"

"I know it sounds trite, but lots of practice," said Loki. "In battle, Thor tends to be more bold and rash, right in the thick of things. I like my fighting style to be a bit more…understated. More distant."

"Do you find yourself in battle often?" Sigyn asked. She thought of him being in physical danger had never crossed her mind, and it frightened her.

"Fortunately, our realm has known peace for quite some time," said Loki, his tone reassuring. "The only fighting I have experienced recently is in the training rooms with Thor."

"That's a relief," she said, sighing.

"Not necessarily," said Loki. "He gives me no quarter in training. I have learned to become quite skilled at defending myself."

Sigyn could only imagine what that might look like, when she began to hear faint music. Glancing over the railing, she could see that the remaining revelers from the celebration had spilled out into the courtyard below them.

Loki stepped away from the railing, bowing at the waist and holding his hand out to her with a flourish. "Might I have the pleasure of this dance?"

"Why Loki, I would be honored," she replied with an exaggerated curtsy, before taking his hand. He pulled her in close, keeping one hand in hers while his other hand went to her waist.

Sigyn placed her free hand on his shoulder, letting him take the lead as they spun around the terrace. She looked up at him, his bright green eyes intense, seeing right into her. She couldn't look away.

He moved his hand against her waist, snaking it around to her back and pulling her in as close as possible, fitting his body to hers so closely not even a whisper of air could pass between them. She could feel every movement of his muscles beneath her hands, and even though they were still fully clothed, to Sigyn it was outright erotic.

Overwhelmed, she took her hand from his and leaned into him, placing both of her arms around his body. She placed her cheek on his chest as they turned and swayed to the music. She felt him rest his head on hers, one hand on her waist holding her close as the other began to trace a slow path up her spine. He filled her senses, the smell of him a mixture of leather and dark forests and winter snow. He was absolutely intoxicating.

A few more turns and the music stopped, their dance concluded, neither of them making a move to loosen their embrace.

They stood like that for several moments, saying nothing. Sigyn could feel his heart beating solidly under her cheek, even through all the layers of his clothing. Her whole body hummed with need, and she hoped he couldn't feel how badly her hands were shaking on his back.

Suddenly, he lifted his head up. Placing his fingers under her chin, he raised her head, his eyes locked on hers. He looked as if he was searching for something in her face - honesty, affection...permission. Sigyn tried to project all of those things to him, her breath becoming more and more shallow in the effort.

Without a word, Loki reached up to her hair, making quick work of the pins that held it up, snapping his fingers after he removed each one to wink them out of existence. Freed from its bonds, her hair tumbled to her shoulders and around her face. Sigyn had never felt more beautiful in her life.

He cupped her head with his hand, his fingers in her hair and his thumb running over her lips. He took in a breath, as if he was about to speak, when he closed the distance and kissed her.

This kiss was completely different from the chaste one they had shared earlier. It was more passionate, filled with all of the unspoken desire they had held in all evening. Loki gently pressed his thumb to her chin, sliding it down and around her neck as she happily opened her mouth to him. She could taste wine and mint on his tongue, and it made her shudder with delight.

Sigyn felt utterly weak in his embrace, happy that his arms were around her to help her remain standing.

She broke from him for a moment, to catch her breath…and noticed the sky lightening in the distance. She had completely lost track of time, and dawn was breaking.

She gasped. "I need to go home, Loki. My brother will be worried."

"Allow me to accompany you there."

"I'm not sure-" she began, when he cut her off.

"Sigyn, I have no intention of this being our last night together. The sooner your brother knows the better," he said, impatience in his voice. "I will not be hidden away."

She drew in a deep breath. "You are right," she said. Sigyn knew she couldn't avoid Edmund forever. She also knew that he would never believe who she had been with if he didn't see for himself.

* * *

Her apartment was not far from the palace, easily within walking distance, but Loki arranged for a carriage to take them instead. Sigyn was pleased he had, as it allowed him to kiss her the entire way home. She didn't think she would ever get tired of it.

All too soon, the carriage arrived at her apartment. Loki followed her to the front door, where she turned to him one last time.

"Thank you for a most remarkable evening, Loki," she said. "I so enjoyed your company."

"And I yours," he replied, pulling her in for one last small kiss. "Oh! I almost forgot. I have something for you."

He held his hands out in front of his body, palm to palm. He rubbed his hands together quickly, and began to pull them apart. While Sigyn watched in amazement, a book began to appear between them. As soon as it was solid, Loki grasped the spine and held it out to her.

"Here," he said. "I thought you might like to finish reading this."

Sigyn took the book from him. She recognized it immediately as the latest one she had been secretly reading in the Queen's chambers.

"How - how did you -" she began.

"I saw you placing it on the shelf in my mother's room one day," he replied. "I told you I know more than you think, Sigyn. You seem to have a love of books as great as mine - I admire that about you."

She ran her fingers over the cover of the book. "Thank you, Loki. I promise to take great care of it and return it as soon as I'm done."

"I have quite a collection myself," he said. "Perhaps I can show you sometime soon."

Sigyn opened her mouth to reply, when the door to her apartment flew open, revealing Edmund, his face livid.

"Sigyn! Where in the Nine have you-" he began, his words dying at the sight of the prince with his sister.

"Your Highness!" said Edmund, bowing sharply. "Has my sister done something wrong?"

Before Loki could reply, Edmund turned to Sigyn. "What have you done? Did you steal that book?"

"The book was a gift from me," said Loki, his voice even. "Your sister was with me all evening, and I can assure you, she has done nothing wrong."

"Is that true, Sigyn?" said Edmund, his tone disbelieving.

"Yes, Edmund," said Sigyn. "Are you questioning the prince?"

At that, Edmund was silent.

"We plan on spending quite a bit of time together," continued Loki, looking at Sigyn with a smile. "I do hope you can get used to seeing me around, Edmund."

Loki took Sigyn's hand and pressed it to his lips. "I will see you soon, yes?"

Sigyn bowed her head to him, clutching the book to her chest. "Yes, Loki." She turned from him, and hurried past Edmund into the apartment, avoiding his look as she passed.

Edmund turned to the prince. "Forgive me, Your Highness. I did not mean to assume..."

"Your sister is an extraordinary woman," said Loki. "You would do well to remember that." He began to walk back toward the carriage, turning back to Edmund after a few steps. "By the way, I believe you left something at the palace last night."

Loki snapped his fingers, chuckling at the look on Edmund's face as rose petals began to materialize out of the air to fall at Edmund's feet.


	5. Chapter 5

Sigyn was nearly to her room when she heard the front door shut, and Edmund's heavy footsteps approaching her.

"Is this some sort of jest?" he asked.

She turned to face him. "What is that supposed to mean?" she asked. "Do you not think your sister capable of catching the eye of a prince?"

"Of course I do, Sigyn," he said, running his hand through his hair. He didn't appear to have slept all night. "I'm just surprised, that's all. When you didn't return last night, I got worried."

"I'm sorry, Edmund," said Sigyn. "Loki and I-"

"_Loki_?" said Edmund, incredulous. "That's awfully familiar, don't you think?"

"He asked me to call him that, Edmund," said Sigyn with a sigh. "I'm not as impudent as you think."

Edmund paced the hallway, his hands on his hips. "And this…_courtship_…how long has it been going on?

"He approached me just this morning," said Sigyn. "Well, I guess it would be yesterday morning by now." It already seemed like a lifetime ago.

"Did you say anything to Mother when she was here?" asked Edmund.

"Of course not!" said Sigyn. "If she knew, all of Asgard would know before the end of the day." She walked up to Edmund, her finger in his chest. "I'm not going to tell her just yet - and neither are you."

"Sigyn, she is going to want to know how the celebration went, if you attracted the attention of a possible suitor. What am I to say if she asks?"

"You will say nothing more than that it went well," said Sigyn.

"Sigyn-"

She cut off his protestation. "If she finds out about this before I'm ready, I will know who told her." She plucked a stray rose petal from Edmund's tunic. "I know you love your position as a Royal Guard - I would hate to see you lose it."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Don't test me," said Sigyn. "I'll not have you ruin this for me Edmund." She turned to walk toward her room.

She only managed a few steps before she felt Edmund's hand on her shoulder, turning her around. "Sigyn, you were gone all night. I _must_ know…did he force himself on you?"

"Not that it's any of your business," she said, shrugging his hand away, "but _no_." She opened the door to her room, walking in before turning back to Edmund once more. "I promise you when it comes to it, he won't need to." She slammed the door to her room before Edmund could reply.

Sigyn had never been so bold with her brother in her life. Her heart was hammering in her chest, but not out of fear - out of _exhilaration_. Something had changed in her overnight. She had a new ferocity about her, something she was determined to keep.

She shrugged off her dress before collapsing onto the bed. She knew she had no hope of falling asleep, and she had to report back to the palace shortly anyway, but she had to settle herself first. She covered herself with the shawl Loki had given her. It smelled like him, and she breathed in deep, allowing her mind to wander to the evening's events.

She was surprised at how quickly she had been able to calm herself around him. He had a way of putting her at ease, allowing her to open up and relax. Unlike other men she had spent time with, Loki had seemed genuinely interested in her, in her life, in the things she had to say.

He'd also made it clear that he hadn't expected anything more than talking from her. He clearly enjoyed using provocative language on her, but he hadn't made any physical advances that she'd had to rebuff.

Not that she would have rebuffed him. Not after that kiss.

She couldn't remember having ever been so thoroughly kissed in her life. She could clearly remember the feeling of his hands on her face, how soft his lips had been. She smiled like a schoolgirl at the memory, her fingers tracing her lips and a giggle escaping her throat. She was going to be useless to the Queen today if she didn't get herself under control.

Sigyn gasped, her smile evaporating from her face. _The Queen._

How much did the Queen know about the night's events? Sigyn felt her nerves blossom up in the pit of her stomach all over again. She and Loki had not spoken of his mother or how much she knew about his intentions. Sigyn highly valued the opinion of the Queen, and would be devastated if her budding relationship with Loki was met with disapproval.

If it was, Sigyn would have to call on some of her newfound strength to face the consequences.

She lay in bed for some time, tossing and turning, until she finally gave up trying to get any rest. She got up, bathed quickly, and ate a small breakfast to settle her stomach.

She had intended to talk to Edmund before she left, to apologize for speaking to him so harshly. In her heart, she knew he only had her best interests in mind, but he needed to understand that she was no longer a child. She was a grown woman, with all the needs and desires of an adult. Edmund, of _all_ people, should understand that.

But he was already gone, having reported to the palace himself. It would have to wait.

* * *

Loki did not sleep upon his return to the palace, choosing instead to go to the training room and practice his fighting skills.

As it was so early, he had the entire room to himself. He often preferred it that way, as it allowed him to conjure clones of himself to fight. They fought exactly as he did, and it helped him learn quickly from his own mistakes.

The previous night had left him on edge, and every moment he spent in movement, casting spells and landing blows on his duplicates, helped to calm him.

He worked hard, pushing his mind and body to their limits, until he was breathless and exhausted.

But still, he knew sleep would elude him if he returned to his chambers. He briefly considered finding Thor, but he knew that his brother would only be interested in whether or not Sigyn had spent the night in Loki's bed or her own.

There had been a time when Loki would have been eager to share the details of his conquests with Thor. To prove to him that his little brother was equally capable of great feats in the bedroom. But those days were long past.

Whatever his relationship was with Sigyn - whatever it was _going_ to be - Loki felt the need to keep it close to his chest. To protect it. To not defile it with a loose tongue.

There was only one person with whom he wished to discuss the previous night's events.

He made a quick trip to his chambers to wash up, and headed directly to his mother's rooms. It was still too early for Sigyn to have returned, and he found his mother alone, just as he had hoped.

"You don't appear to have slept," said the queen, appraising him. "Am I to assume things went well for you last night?"

Loki couldn't help but blush at the implications of her words. It was one thing for Thor to tease him, but this was his _mother_. She was one of the only people in Asgard who could elicit that kind of reaction in him.

"Things went very well," he said. He walked to her bookshelf, leaning upon it with one hand. "I will have you know, my behavior was as befits a prince and a gentleman," he continued over his shoulder, trying not to sound defensive. "Sigyn and I spent all night together…merely talking."

"And do you find her company pleasant?"

"More than pleasant," he said, running his hand over the spines of her books. He felt his mother's hand on his back and he turned to face her. "With your blessing, I would continue to court her."

She placed her hand on his cheek. "You are certainly free to make your own decisions, Loki," said the queen, smiling at him. "But if you require my blessing, then consider it given."

"Thank you, Mother-" he began.

"However," she continued, grasping him by the shoulders and looking him in the eye. "You cannot linger here while she is working. I need to be able to keep her attention. She will be here soon, and you need to be gone when she arrives."

Loki nodded, unable to argue the point with her. "Yes, Mother," he said, turning to leave.

He was down the corridor, nearly to the stairs, when Sigyn turned the corner and ran right into him.

Her face lit up at the sight of him. It had only been a few hours, but he realized that he had already missed her. He knew he was going to have to be careful; he could feel her worming her way into his heart. He needed to stay in control.

"Sigyn, I was hoping to see you this morning," he said. "My mother has insisted that I find something else to occupy my time today. She says I would be too much of a distraction to you."

"She is probably right, Loki," said Sigyn, looking past him at the queen's chamber doors. "She is not angry at me, then?"

"What? Of course not," said Loki. "Why would you think that?"

"I don't want to jeopardize my position with her," said Sigyn. "I'm so afraid she will disapprove."

"Oh, Sigyn," he said, taking her into his arms. "Talk to her yourself. You will find she's not only approving, but encouraging." He looked around, checking for anyone who may have been watching. "Now, come here."

He pulled her back into an alcove at the side of the hallway. "If I must wait all day to spend time with you again, I need a reminder of what I'm looking forward to." He threaded his fingers into her hair, pulling her in for a lingering kiss.

After a moment, Sigyn broke from him, leaning her forehead to his. "Loki, I must go. Your mother will be expecting me."

Groaning in frustration, he kept his arm around her waist, his fingers stroking her cheek. "Will you come find me the moment your duties are finished?"

"The very moment," she said with a grin. "Where should I look?"

"The palace library," he said. "Please, come as soon as you are able."

They exited the alcove, and Sigyn watched as he bounded down the stairs, turning back at the landing to smile her direction. It took every ounce of willpower she could muster to not run after him.

Instead, she turned and continued down the hallway to the gilt doors of the queen's chambers. She took a deep breath before letting herself in.

"Sigyn, good morning," said the Queen. She was sitting at her dressing table. She held her hairbrush out to Sigyn. "Come help me with my hair. It will give us a chance to talk."

"Of course," said Sigyn, taking the brush and running it through the Queen's hair. "I do hope you enjoyed the festivities last night, Your Majesty."

"It _was_ quite spectacular," she replied, watching Sigyn in the mirror. "What about you, dear? Did you enjoy yourself last night?"

Sigyn swallowed hard. Her hands were shaking as she lifted a lock of the Queen's hair and pinned it into place. "Yes, Your Majesty. I enjoyed myself very much."

"So I heard," said the Queen, smiling at her. "There is no reason to be nervous with me, Sigyn. I am not opposed to Loki courting you. In fact, quite the opposite."

Sigyn drew in a deep breath. "Your Majesty, you have no idea how relieved I am to hear that from you."

"I have known of his interest in you for quite some time. A mother knows these things, sometimes even before her child knows," she said. "I was also quite aware that his feelings for you were reciprocated."

Sigyn brushed another section of hair, pinning it up around the Queen's face. "Was I that obvious?"

The Queen smiled broadly at Sigyn. "My dear, it is plainly written on your face every time you look at him."

Sigyn blushed furiously at this admission, and the Queen turned to her. "In truth, Sigyn, that is part of why I was so willing to approve of his courtship of you. Knowing that you had feelings for him as well."

Sigyn lowered her eyes. "I do, Your Majesty. He is unlike any other man I've ever met."

"Sigyn, you don't strike me as naive," said the Queen, turning to look up at Sigyn. "As a mother, I don't wish to dwell on the details, but I know my sons are virile young men, and I am certain you understand that Loki is not…_inexperienced_." Sigyn's eyes widened at the Queen's candidness, but remained downcast.

"However," continued the Queen, "he has never asked my permission to court a woman - not until yesterday. That he would seek my approval of you tells me that he thinks very highly of you. Perhaps more highly than anyone he has been interested in before."

"This is all still such a shock to me, Your Majesty," said Sigyn. "In all honesty, I was surprised that he felt the same way. Until yesterday, I would not have guessed he had ever looked twice at me."

"Loki is quite good at hiding his emotions from those he does not yet trust, but they are just under the surface - as they have been his entire life," said the Queen, placing her hand over Sigyn's. "He is a very passionate man, Sigyn. When his heart is set on something, he will allow nothing to stand in his way."

Sigyn knelt next to the Queen, looking up at her where she sat. "I feel I must know - His Majesty, the King? Does he approve as well?"

"My husband is quite content to leave matters such as these to me," said the Queen. "He only wishes happiness for both of his sons. I would not concern yourself about him."

"Thank you for your candor, Your Majesty," said Sigyn as she stood and brushed the last of the Queen's hair around her shoulders. "And I promise, I will not allow these new developments to hinder my service to you."

"I am sure you won't," said the Queen. "But just to be certain, I have requested that Loki occupy himself elsewhere today."

"He told me," said Sigyn. "I saw him in the corridor just now."

"And he didn't convince you to avoid your duties and spend the day with him?" The Queen laughed. "He may be a grown man, but he still knows to obey his mother."

She handed Sigyn a sheet of parchment, her duties for the day listed on it. Sigyn looked at it, puzzled. It was much shorter than usual.

"I know you are anxious to see him again," said the Queen. "For today, I will not keep you from him longer than necessary."

"Thank you, Your Majesty," said Sigyn with a grin, her stomach fluttering. She went about her duties as quickly as possible, anxiously counting the moments until she could see Loki once more.


	6. Chapter 6

Loki didn't know what he had gotten himself into.

He had always prided himself on not getting too attached to anyone. On keeping himself at arms' length from those around him. Only his parents and Thor were allowed to get close. Until recently, they had been the only ones he trusted enough to see him at his most vulnerable.

However, in the weeks since his mother's birthday celebration, he had found himself spending every spare moment with Sigyn. They spent hours together, and the more time went by, the more Loki found himself opening up to her, sharing things with her he had shared with no one else.

Together, they explored every part of the palace, taking books from the library and searching out quiet nooks and terraces where they could be alone and study together in private. He shared his favorite books with her, prose and poetry from across the Nine Realms, happily discussing their finer points at length. Sigyn's willingness to not only read, but _enjoy_ the books he loved was a quality he had never found in anyone other than his mother, and it delighted him.

Not all of their time was spent at the palace. When Sigyn had time off from her duties, and the weather was favorable, they would ride out together into the outlying areas of Asgard, exploring the vast forests, the deep canyons, and the valleys at the foot of the mountains with equal enthusiasm.

Loki knew these areas well, and had secret places where he would go to lose himself when he needed time alone, places he kept hidden even from Thor. It surprised him that he would feel compelled to share some of these places with Sigyn.

He told her of the time when he and Thor were much younger, and he thought he had mastered a shielding spell. He had convinced Thor to try to hit him with Mjolnir, not realizing that his spell wasn't nearly strong enough to protect him. For his efforts, he had been rewarded with a trip to the healing room and a scar on his forehead. He had long since learned spells that would eradicate the scar completely, but he kept it as a reminder to never again underestimate his brother's fighting skills.

Loki also told her of the first time he had travelled via the Bifröst with his father and brother, and how he had been so violently ill when they landed he was certain he was dying. The stern look from his father, coupled with the laughter from Thor, gave him the strength he needed to continue on. The King didn't tolerate frailty in his sons, and Loki was not going to disappoint him by showing weakness.

He had learned long ago that he would never equal, much less surpass, Thor's physical power. He had instead focused on his own strengths, his mind and his self-control and his powers of sorcery, areas in which even Thor couldn't claim superiority.

Yet with every day that passed, and every new story and confession he shared with Sigyn, he began to feel that self-control slipping. There was no judgment from her, nothing she said or did that made him feel undeserving of her attentions.

He found that she brought forth emotions in him that no other woman ever had, emotions that seemed to contradict themselves in every way. Doubt and confidence. Fear and bravery. Worry and self-assurance.

He began to yearn for her company. Intimately, they had gone no further than fervent kisses and embraces through clothing, yet he physically ached for her when they were apart. He desperately wanted to take her to his bed, to mark her and claim her as his own, but for the first time in his life, he was afraid she would reject him, or even worse, think he was merely using her for physical pleasure. He couldn't stand the thought.

It unnerved him that he allowed Sigyn to have so much control over him, and yet, he found himself unable and unwilling to regain the upper hand.

He tried to make sense of it, to work it out in his head. He could feel something coming into focus, something unfamiliar and terrifying, yet always just out of his reach.

_You damn fool, _he thought_. You're letting her get under your skin._

* * *

"Out of your chambers, yet still with your nose in your books. This is not much of an improvement, brother."

Loki was at the top of a ladder in the library, searching for a particular book he wanted, when Thor appeared beneath him.

"How did you find me, Thor?" said Loki, glancing down at his brother. He enjoyed the feeling of towering over him for once. "I did not realize you even knew where the library was."

"A future king must know his entire palace, brother - even those places he does not use often."

"Perhaps using the library more often would make you a better king," said Loki, finally finding the tome he was searching for. "Not every issue can be solved with your hammer. Some matters need tact and diplomacy."

"That is why I have you, Loki," said Thor with a laugh, as though it should have been obvious.

"And you are lucky that you do," said Loki, jumping down from the ladder to land at Thor's feet. "Is there something you need?"

"Must I always need something to seek out your company, brother? I have barely seen you in weeks. Perhaps I just miss you."

"I have been busy," said Loki, walking past Thor to settle himself in the window seat behind him.

"Ah yes," said Thor, a sly smile on his lips. "You are quite smitten with her, aren't you?"

"If you are referring to Sigyn, then yes, I will admit that I enjoy her company," said Loki, an exasperated sigh escaping his lips. "What is your point?"

"My point is, you seem different, brother. Almost...content. It suits you."

Loki leaned forward, elbows on his knees, narrowing his eyes. "A compliment? From you? Should I be worried?"

"Perhaps it is I who should be worried. You have the regular company of a beautiful woman, yet here you are, alone in the palace library. Are there not better things you could be doing with Sigyn in your chambers?"

Loki rolled his eyes. "This may be a foreign concept to you, brother, but believe it or not, sometimes relationships can progress slowly."

"You can't be serious," said Thor, looking nonplussed. "It has been weeks since Mother's celebration. Are you telling me you and Sigyn have not-"

"That's enough!" said Loki, cutting him off sharply. "And you wonder why I think you lack tact."

"Has it been so long that you've forgotten the mechanics of intimacy entirely?" teased Thor. "Or maybe...you are worried that you might complete the act before it even starts."

"My feelings for Sigyn extend beyond just having her in my bed, Thor."

"And what exactly _are_ your feelings for her, Loki?" asked Thor, one eyebrow raised.

Loki opened his mouth to speak, but for once he found himself at a loss for words. "I-I'm not sure."

"Hmm," said Thor, a knowing look on his face. "Well, when you figure it out, come and find me in the training room," said Thor, walking away. "You must need _something_ to relieve your tension."

* * *

Sigyn was beginning to get discouraged.

She and Loki had spent every day together since the Queen's celebration. But for all of his provocative words and suggestive comments, they had done nothing more than merely kiss.

Sigyn had tried to drop hints that she was not opposed to taking things further. When they read together, she had taken to sitting closer and closer to him. She would allow her hand to linger in his, or gently run her fingers through his hair, pleased when he would lean into her touch.

But no matter what she tried, every night would end the same. Loki would accompany her back to her apartment, never asking to come in, and never asking her to stay with him at the palace. She could tell he was holding himself back. For what purpose, she didn't know. If he was trying to tease her, it was working - a little _too_ well.

Sigyn had decided that she had waited long enough, that she was going to take matters into her own hands. She wanted to give herself to Loki completely, and she intended to make it happen by the end of the day.

Not wanting to be caught unprepared, she made a trip to the local apothecary to purchase the contraceptive herbs she needed. The old supply she found in her bathroom had long since become ineffective, a withering reminder of how long it had been since she'd been intimate with a man.

Rearranging her schedule so that she would have the apartment to herself while Edmund was on duty had also been essential. Her brother still seemed a bit cautious around Loki, and she didn't want to ruin the uneasy truce the two men had with each other by needing to ask Edmund to leave so Loki could have his way with her.

As usual, Loki met her in the corridor outside his mother's chambers before her duties. He had continued to heed the Queen's warning to stay occupied elsewhere while Sigyn was in her service, not wanting to be a distraction.

Before they went their separate ways, Sigyn asked him to meet her at her apartment in the early afternoon. She told him she was going to be helping his mother in her personal garden, and that she would need to go home and freshen up before they could spend any time together.

As soon as her duties were complete, she rushed home to her apartment, her excitement building with every moment that passed. She bathed thoroughly, imagining they were Loki's hands and not her own as she ran them over her body. The thoughts she conjured were nearly enough to undo her before he even arrived, and her legs were shaking as she stepped from the bath.

She decided to wear the blue dress she had worn on the night of the Queen's celebration, the most flattering dress she owned. Pulling it on quickly, she combed through her hair, leaving it to fall down her back, before deciding on one last adjustment to her clothing. She reached up under her skirt, pulling her undergarments off and tossing them into her wardrobe before closing it up.

Making one last pass through her room, she cleaned a few remaining things off the floor and nervously straightened up the sheets on the bed. She heard a knock on the door, and checked her reflection one last time in the mirror before going to answer it, smoothing her palms over her hair and dress.

Opening the door, she couldn't help but smile as Loki's eyes travelled the length of her body, his breath catching in his throat. His reaction gave her hope that all of her efforts would not go to waste, and she could feel her nerves settling a bit

"You look beautiful," he said, and the way he sized her up told her he meant it. "Are you ready to go?"

"Not quite. Will you come in for just a moment?" she asked, wincing at the high pitch of her voice. She was trying to sound relaxed and failing miserably.

Loki hesitated only a moment, before following her inside to the sitting room. "Is Edmund here?" he asked warily, looking around as he lowered himself onto the sofa.

"No," she said, settling in next to him. "And he won't be for some time." She reached over to take both of his hands in hers, her eyes locked on his. "It's just the two of us."

He looked back at her, saying nothing, his eyes bright but inscrutable. She dropped his hands in frustration. "Loki, if there is something I've done wrong, I wish you would tell me. I'm practically throwing myself at you, and you don't seem the slightest bit affected."

"Sigyn, it's not that-" he began, his eyes widening in alarm.

"What is it then?" she continued. "You say you want to 'know me more intimately', that 'I have yet to be apprised of all your talents'. I must know - am I making a fool of myself? Do you not want me?" She could feel her anxiety returning, the thought of him rejecting her advances threatening to bring tears to her eyes.

He sat silently for a moment, contemplating what to say, before he took her hand and placed it on the front of his breeches. His length was solid beneath her palm. "What do you think?" he said, his jaw clenched and his voice low.

She was rendered speechless by the boldness of his actions, her heart hammering in her chest. She couldn't pull her hand away, fearing that if she did, the opportunity she was being given would vanish.

He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to hers, his lips a mere whisper from hers. "I want you, Sigyn. I want_ everything_."

"Then please," said Sigyn, squeezing him gently in her hand, thrilled at the low moan she drew from him. "I've made all the preparations. I want this. I want to give myself to you, in every way." She moved her head to press her cheek to his, whispering in his ear. "_Please_."

_Please_. Such a small word, but as she spoke, any remaining resolve he held disappeared. With one swift movement, he grasped Sigyn by her waist, moving her to straddle his legs and pressing her down into his lap.

She grasped his head in her hands, running her fingers through his hair, scratching gently across his scalp. He was always so fastidious about his appearance, and to see him relax and allow her to muss his hair was incredibly arousing. She brought his mouth to hers, kissing him fervently before leaning her head back, giving him access to her neck and throat.

He moved his hands slowly up her thighs and to her back. Even through her gown, the feel of his fingertips as they wandered to places he had never touched on her body was enough to make her struggle for breath. She wanted to enjoy this for as long as possible, but she was afraid it would be over quickly once he actually touched her bare skin.

Even in this state, she realized the sofa would not comfortably hold the two of them for long, so she leaned down to his ear and whispered a single word. "Bedroom."

"Yes," Loki replied.

Sigyn removed herself from his lap, reaching for his hand as he stood. He surprised her by scooping her up into his arms, lifting her as easily as he would a feather. She put her arms around his neck, placing her head on his chest as he carried her.

"Which room?" he asked, stopping in the hallway. "I don't want to end up in your brother's bed."

"It's that one," she said with a laugh, pointing to the correct door. Getting anywhere near Edmund's room would have certainly ruined her mood for good.

Once in her room, Loki set her back on her feet, and she promptly hopped up on to the bed, scooting herself back as he crawled up after her. Her jaw went slack at the hunger in his eyes, and she wondered how she could have ever doubted his desire for her. He pushed her gently onto her back, laying himself on her, his mouth claiming hers once again before starting of trail of kisses down her neck.

She sighed with contentment as he pressed into her, enjoying the solid weight of his body on hers, his scent, his taste, his _masculinity_. Pulling her knees up on either side of his body, she began grinding her hips into his to increase the pressure where she wanted it most. He responded in kind, pushing his hips back into hers and into the bed.

Fraught with the need to feel his skin on hers, she grabbed the bottom of his tunic, tugging it up to encourage him to remove it. She assumed he would just magic it away, so it surprised her when he sat back on his heels for just a moment, quickly pulling it up over his head and throwing it to the side. He had mentioned to her once that sorcery took a lot of concentration, and at this moment his magic clearly couldn't compete with the attention he was giving her.

Sigyn reached up to trace the contours of his chest and stomach, in awe at the lean hardness of his body, exposed to her for the first time. She hardly had a chance to admire him before he was leaned back over her, bracing himself up on one elbow.

His other hand traced a path down her cheek and neck, down into her décolletage. "I can feel your pulse racing," he said, "and to know that _I _am the cause." He dipped his head to kiss her gently before pulling back. "Sigyn, I am overwhelmed." She felt every nerve in her body light up at his admission. He may have had the reputation of a trickster, but she could feel the truth in his words.

He pulled the top of her dress to one side, freeing one breast to his lingering gaze before he closed the gap and pulled the nipple into his mouth. Continuing to move his hand down her body to the skirt of her gown, he grasped the hem and shoved it abruptly to her waist. He ran his palm down the outside of her bare leg, tantalizingly slow, stopping at her knee before returning to the top of her hips.

When he realized she wasn't wearing any undergarments, he raised his head. "You truly thought of everything, didn't you?"

"Yes, yes I-" she began, her words dying with a gasp as he set his mouth to her breast once more, causing her to arch her back up off the bed. He was unyielding in his attentions, pushing her leg out and slipping his hand between her thighs, sliding one and then another finger into her center.

At his touch all powers of speech abandoned her, and the only word she could summon to her lips was his name, repeated over and over. _Loki...Loki...Loki..._

They had barely started, yet she could already feel the familiar tension coiling in her belly at his ministrations. She was so far gone, so _close_, she almost didn't hear the front door open, and her mother's voice pierce the air.

"Sigyn! Sigyn, are you home?"


	7. Chapter 7

Sigyn's eyes flew open - panic consuming her. _No, no, no, no, NO…this is not happening._

"Sigyn! Are you here darling?"

Loki lifted his head from her breast, the air suddenly cold on her wet skin. His fingers went still but remained buried in her body. "Who is that?" he asked, his voice suddenly too loud to Sigyn's ears in their close quarters. She was certain her mother would hear him.

"It's my mother," she said, her words soft but insistent. "Let me up!"

Her hands flew to Loki's shoulders, pushing him up and away from her. She had been right on the precipice of release, and she could feel her body rebelling at the sudden loss of sensation. _Why did I _ever_ agree to let her have a key to this apartment?_

Loki sat back on his heels, his hands on his knees. "Were you expecting her?" To Sigyn's relief, he had at least tempered his voice to a whisper.

Sigyn wriggled off the bed, smoothing her skirt down and pulling the shoulder of her dress back up to cover herself. "No - but she has a key. I'm not sure why she's here." She grabbed the edge of the door, closing it as quietly as she could. She knew slamming it would only attract her mother's attention.

"I'll be right out, mother - I'm just changing clothes!" Sigyn yelled through the door, hoping Dagmar wouldn't try to test the handle.

She turned back to face Loki, leaning her body against the door. He remained crouched on the bed, looking at her expectantly. "Can you not get rid of her?"

"Yes, yes," said Sigyn, her voice barely audible. "But you need to stay in here."

"You want me to hide?" he asked, incredulous. The volume of his voice was rising once again. "Do you not wish for me to meet her?"

"Shhhhh," said Sigyn, one finger raised to her mouth. "Please...she'll leave faster if we can forgo the introductions for now. Just give me a moment, and I'll have her on her way. Alright?"

He stayed silent, a curt nod his only answer. His irritation made Sigyn feel helpless, knowing that at this moment she couldn't please both Loki and her mother. She decided that if someone was going to be angry with her, it was not going to be the man waiting in her bed.

She mouthed a silent _thank you_ to Loki, before taking a deep breath, trying to compose herself. She opened the door to her room and stepped out, making sure to swing the door softly closed behind her.

Dagmar was waiting for her in the sitting room, sitting on the sofa. Sigyn felt a blush creep up her face at the thought of what she and Loki had been doing there just moments prior.

"You look flushed, dear," said Dagmar, rising from the couch to place the back of her hand on Sigyn's brow. "Are you feeling well?"

"I'm fine, mother," said Sigyn. "Really. You've just, um, _surprised_ me that's all. I wasn't expecting a visit from you today." She could feel the words coming out too fast. She hoped her mother didn't become suspicious.

"I've barely seen you in weeks," said Dagmar, patting Sigyn's cheek. "If I didn't know better, I would think you've been avoiding me."

Sigyn hadn't been intentionally avoiding her mother. Every spare moment she'd had recently was spent in Loki's company; evading Dagmar and her endless questions was merely an added benefit. Until this afternoon, Sigyn truly hadn't been sure if Loki's feelings for her were strong enough to warrant a revelation to her mother.

She had also steered clear of the topic of her mother with Loki. If she was to be completely honest, she would need to tell him about her mother's insatiable need to see Sigyn married off to a man of wealth and privilege. There was hardly a man more wealthy or privileged than a prince, and the last thing Sigyn wanted was for Loki to think that she was simply using him for his social status.

Even so, Sigyn knew that if their relationship continued to progress, she could not endlessly delay Loki meeting her mother; however, this was _not_ the time or place for that to happen.

"I'm going to put some water on for tea, darling," said Dagmar, not waiting for Sigyn to answer before busying herself in the kitchen. "Come, sit with me. I have something I wish to discuss with you."

"Mother, must we do this right now?" said Sigyn, trying to keep the desperation out of her voice. "I have plans for this evening, and I would like to get ready."

"Well, what I wish to discuss cannot wait, dear."

Sigyn followed her mother to the kitchen, her mind racing through ways she could get her mother to leave. She hoped Loki could be patient.

Having just made tea before her bath, Sigyn was grateful her mother didn't have to start the fire for the kettle from scratch. Even so, the wait for the water to resume boiling was endless, and every moment that passed was another moment that Sigyn feared Loki could be changing his mind, or worse yet, preparing to leave.

"I thought I heard you talking to someone when I came in, Sigyn," said Dagmar, stoking the fire.

"Talking?" said Sigyn. "Who would I be talking to?" She barely repressed the nervous laughter threatening to creep up in her voice. "It was probably the neighbors."

"Perhaps so."

After what seemed like ages, the water was once again bubbling, and Dagmar prepared two cups of tea before handing one of them to Sigyn. "Here darling, let's sit for a moment."

Sigyn turned to walk to the table, and froze in shock. Leaning in the doorway of the kitchen was Loki, still naked from the waist up. She hissed through her teeth as a bit of hot tea sloshed out at her sudden stop, burning her fingers.

"What happened?" asked Dagmar, turning toward Sigyn - and the doorway - before Sigyn could stop her.

Sigyn opened her mouth to say something, only managing a small squeak before Dagmar's eyes followed Sigyn's gaze toward Loki. He remained where he was, making no attempt to conceal himself.

"What are you looking at?" asked Dagmar. "You don't have pests here do you?" she continued, her eyes sweeping the room - and passing directly over the doorway, as though there wasn't a partially clothed prince of the realm standing there.

"Don't worry," said Loki, his calm voice a complete contrast to the fear rising in Sigyn's throat. "I've made sure she can't see me. One of my many talents."

Sigyn barely felt her mother's hands as she took her tea from her and placed it on the table. "What has you so worked up, Sigyn?" she asked. "You've been on edge since I arrived."

"It's nothing mother," said Sigyn, her eyes never leaving Loki's. "Like I said, I just wasn't expecting a visit from you today."

As soon as Dagmar turned away from her, Sigyn mouthed _I'm sorry_ to Loki. It was obvious he was unhappy, but she gave him a pleading look, hoping he would be understanding.

"Well, I hate to just drop in like this, but as I said, this couldn't wait a moment longer." Dagmar settled herself at the table and raised her cup to her lips, blowing across the surface before taking a small sip. "I know you're hiding something from me, Sigyn. Or more specifically, some_one_. A suitor."

Sigyn snapped her head around to her mother. "What?"

"I have an acquaintance that told me her daughter saw you out riding with a young man," said Dagmar. "She said he was quite handsome, but she couldn't be sure who he was." She took another drink of her tea, watching Sigyn expectantly.

"Quite handsome?" said Loki with a snort. "I'm flattered."

Sigyn gave him a sharp look before joining her mother at the table. "Is that so?" she said, playing with the edge of her cup. The question could have been aimed at her mother and Loki both, but of course her mother was the one who chose to answer.

"Yes, dear. Now tell me all about him."

Sigyn took a deep breath and raised her cup to her lips, trying to buy a little time. In her heart, she wanted to be able to tell her mother the truth, to let Dagmar share in her joy. But Sigyn knew the moment she revealed Loki's identity her mother would never leave. The questions would be endless, ruining what little was left of the time she had planned to share with Loki alone.

Sigyn set her cup down, the first words she could think of on her lips. "He's nobody important, mother."

She caught movement from the corner of her eye, and when she looked back at the doorway, it was empty.

She rose from her chair at once, knocking over her cup in the process. She regretted the words immediately, but there was no easy way to correct herself with her mother still there.

"What is wrong with you, child?" Dagmar said, standing quickly to grab a towel for Sigyn's spilled tea.

"I'm sorry mother, I'm really not feeling well after all," said Sigyn, her heart in her throat. "Can we please continue this another time?"

"But you've made a mess-"

"Just leave it." She grabbed her mother's elbow, pulling her away from the table. "Please? I just need to lie down for a while. I'm sorry you came all this way."

"Well, why don't you lie down, and I'll fix you something to eat."

"No!" said Sigyn, a bit too forcefully. "Uh...no, Mother. I couldn't possibly eat anything right now. I'm suddenly feeling rather nauseous."

"Well, why didn't you say so? I can't leave you like this - let me take care of you!"

Sigyn leaned against the table for a moment, clutching her abdomen. "It's really for the best if you leave, Mother - I would feel terrible if you get sick because of me." She took a deep breath and walked to the sitting room, her mother at her heels. "I can manage by myself, really."

She grabbed her mother's coat from the back of the sofa, using the opportunity to slip her hand in the pocket and find the key to her apartment. She pushed it down the front of her dress quickly, before turning to hand the coat to her mother. She was determined that there would be no more surprise visits in the future.

"Well, I suppose we can do this another time," said Dagmar, the displeasure clear in her voice. "But let me know the moment you're feeling better. I must know more about this suitor, 'important' or not."

"Yes Mother," said Sigyn, opening the front door and trying not to shove her mother out too rudely. "I promise, we will talk soon." She shut the door before her mother could reply.

Sigyn leaned against the door for a moment before pushing herself down the hallway. She had to find Loki and try to salvage what was left of the afternoon.

She found him standing beside her bed, completely dressed, not a hair out of place. He turned to her, and the look on his face told Sigyn everything she needed to know. There would be no salvaging of the afternoon, or the near future.

"Loki, please, let me expl-"

"Stop."

Sigyn crumpled at the word, and the obvious anger behind it, an emotion she'd never seen him express. To see that anger directed at her was devastating, and before she could stop herself, she began to cry.

Loki approached her slowly. His eyes, so darkened with desire just moments before, were utterly cold. The change was so stark he hardly seemed like the same man.

"Oh, don't cry," he said. He reached up to caress her cheek, wiping a tear away with his thumb. He leaned in closely, and for one hopeful moment Sigyn thought he was going to kiss her. His face was a hairsbreadth away from hers when he stopped.

"Save your tears...for someone _important_."

He pushed around her, storming down the hallway before she could say a word. She managed to call out to him once - _Loki, wait!_ - before she heard the front door slam shut.

She ran down the hall and wrenched the front door open, hoping to catch a glimpse of him, but it was too late. There was no sign of him anywhere.

She turned back into her apartment, one hand on her hip and the other running through her hair. _What have I done?_ She shut the door, leaning up against it before sliding down to the floor in a sobbing heap.

She felt a pinch in her dress, and she reached in to pull out the key she took from her mother's coat. She closed her fingers around it and squeezed, feeling the sharp edges dig into her palm until the pain in her hand was as great as the pain in her heart.

* * *

_You should have ended this long ago, you idiot. How could you ever think she was different?_

Loki hoped the walk back to the palace would be enough to calm him. But with every step, his thoughts and doubts began to creep in, inflaming his anger.

He heard voices in his head from the past, snippets of conversations he was never meant to hear.

_He is only the second son, weak and insignificant...He will never be as strong as Thor...What use is a sorcerer when we have the strength of warriors? _

_He's nobody important, mother._

Sigyn had lured him to her bed, and for what? To use him and humiliate him? She had been so warm and willing as she lay beneath him. He thought he had seen the truth in her eyes, that she had wanted him as much as he wanted her.

_You allowed your feelings for her to cloud your judgment. You opened up to her and look where you've ended up. An aching cock and a bruised ego...the only prizes worthy of someone so unimportant._

He arrived back at the palace, momentarily at a loss as to where to go. It would be too easy to wallow in self-pity if he went to his chambers.

Attempting to talk to his father would be a waste of effort. His mother was too attached to Sigyn - she would know everything soon enough.

That left just one option - someone who would rather fight than talk. As soon as the thought crossed his mind, Loki realized that's exactly what he needed.

He headed straight for the training room, hoping he wasn't too late. As soon as he opened the door, he could hear the familiar sound of Mjolnir singing through the air.

"Loki! I didn't expect to see you again so soon," said Thor. He held his hand out to the side, retrieving his hammer without so much as a glance. He took in the sight of his brother, narrowing his eyes. "You look distressed. What troubles you?"

"Nothing I wish to discuss. May I join you?"

"Has something happened with Sigyn?"

"I said I don't wish to discuss it Thor," said Loki, gritting his teeth. "One more question, and I will conjure a knife in your throat."

Thor held his hands up in surrender. "Then come, brother. Let us put your anger - whatever the cause - to better use than threatening my life."


	8. Chapter 8

When Sigyn awoke the next morning, cold and alone in her bed, her eyes were still puffy from crying.

She didn't know how long she had remained by the front door after Loki left, hoping he would come back, before she had finally given up hope and dragged herself back to her bedroom. She had known that Edmund would be home soon, and she had wanted to avoid him and any questions her appearance would have raised.

Fortunately, Edmund did not stay long after he arrived home from his duties, likely not even realizing that Sigyn was there. He had been seeing the kitchen maid Ingrid since the night of the celebration, and had left to meet her as soon as he'd changed his clothes.

Sigyn had just remarked to Edmund the previous week that her romantic luck must have been rubbing off on him. After the events of the previous night, however, it seemed Sigyn's luck had run its course and she was back to being alone.

She knew she could not stay in bed all day - no matter how badly she wanted to avoid them, her duties to the Queen were still required. Heavy hearted, she forced herself up and into the bath.

Later, as she walked to the palace, Sigyn convinced herself that Loki would be waiting for her when she arrived, just as he did every day. He would give her a chance to explain - to make things right. They would move on and forget the previous night ever happened.

But as she turned from the stairs into the corridor, and his familiar presence was completely absent, Sigyn's hopes were dashed. She went into the nearest alcove, giving herself a moment to cry in peace, before composing herself enough to report to the Queen's chambers. She was determined to not let her disappointment affect her service to the Queen.

The day passed by slowly, and Sigyn found it more difficult with each passing moment to keep her emotions in check. If the Queen noticed anything amiss, she was blessedly silent about it.

After her duties, she searched everywhere for Loki - looking in all the places in which they had spent time together. The library, the terraces, the hidden alcoves in deserted hallways; it was as though he had abandoned the palace entirely. She gave up in frustration and headed home, not even bothering to eat before she collapsed into her bed.

The next day was the same, hours of trying to complete her duties without allowing the emotional turmoil in her head to affect her job. She still searched for Loki after her services were completed, but once again he was no where to be found.

She knew things could not continue like this. The Queen deserved better than a lovesick handmaiden who couldn't perform her duties. As much as it broke her heart, Sigyn knew there was only one thing she could do.

* * *

Loki had spent the past two days in the outlying forests of Asgard, returning in the evenings only after he knew Sigyn would be gone. He had needed time to clear his thoughts, to get her out of his mind - a task that had proven quite unsuccessful.

A note had been waiting for him when he arrived back at his chambers the previous night, and even before he saw the Queen's seal, he knew who it was from. He sat on the edge of his bed, reading it again and again.

_I wish to see you first thing in the morning, before Sigyn arrives. You and I must discuss this situation - I have no desire to find a new handmaiden._

He would not disobey his mother, yet he knew it was going to be a difficult conversation. Even a simplification of what had happened would still be more information than the Queen needed to know.

He decided that if his mother was going to summon him, she could ask the questions. He would decide how much he wanted to share.

The palace was quiet when he arrived at her chambers, the day having barely started. He let himself in without knocking.

"I was afraid you might not show." His mother was sitting at her dressing table, still in her sleeping gown.

"I considered it. But I know better than to defy you."

"Come here," she said, indicating a chair next to hers. "Sit with me."

Loki did as he was asked, feeling like a child being reprimanded. He didn't say a word as he settled into the chair, stretching his legs straight out and crossing his arms over his chest.

"Must you look so sullen?" asked the Queen, turning to face him in her chair.

"I'm sorry, Mother. I don't have much reason to be happy right now."

"Well, that is just about the most foolish thing I've heard from your mouth in a very long time."

Loki leaned forward in his chair and opened his mouth to protest, when the Queen raised her hand to him.

"No - you will hear me out."

He slumped back, clenching his jaw in frustration and sighing loudly through his nose. "What did she tell you?"

"She told me nothing." The Queen reached towards him, unfolding his arms so she could hold his hands. "Loki, I don't need to know the details of what happened between you and Sigyn to surmise that whatever it was, neither of you are very pleased with the outcome."

"Sigyn has no reason to be displeased, Mother. She was quite clear about her feelings for me that night, and they were not what I had hoped."

"So, she told you herself that she does not have strong feelings for you?"

"Not exactly...she wasn't talking to _me_ at the time-"

"So, you overheard part of a conversation and made assumptions about what you heard? Surely you gave her a chance to explain herself later?"

"I didn't need to hear any explanations."

The Queen dropped Loki's hands and sat back in her chair. "Let me make sure I understand. You made assumptions about an overheard conversation and did not give Sigyn an opportunity to explain what she may have meant?"

"Well...yes." He rolled his eyes, crossing his arms once again.

"Did you ever stop to think you might be wrong?"

"So, you're taking her side? You don't even know what was said." He looked toward the door, waiting for any opportunity to leave.

"I don't need to know what was said. Loki, listen to me."

Reluctantly, he turned back to her.

"I see Sigyn nearly every day, just as you do. However, I am witness to how she behaves when you are not here. I need only mention your name, and her entire face lights up. She smiles to herself, lost in thought, when she thinks no one is looking. You may _think_ she does not have strong feelings for you, but I can tell you with absolute certainty that you are wrong. She is in love with you."

"She told you this? Or are you just _assuming_?"

The Queen narrowed her eyes at his condescending tone. "A woman's assumptions are worth more than any man's, especially when it comes to love."

Loki stayed silent and stared at the floor, unable to form a reply. He trusted his mother's opinion, but she had not been there that night. She didn't understand how hurt he was. Sigyn had asked him to let her explain - should he have given her that chance? What could she possibly have said that would have made him feel better? He hated being so unsure, but he hadn't known what else to do.

He felt his mother's hand beneath his chin, raising his face to hers. "Loki, Sigyn loves you. And if you can't look into your heart, and realize how much you love her, too…" She patted his cheek. "Well, then I'm afraid there's nothing anyone can do for you."

* * *

Sigyn reached for the door to the Queen's chambers, hesitating just a moment before turning the handle. She knew she needed to get this over with before she changed her mind.

The Queen was alone, seated at her writing table. "Sigyn, good morning."

"Your Majesty." Sigyn approached her slowly, turning the paper in her hand over and over. This was going to be more difficult than she thought. "There is something I need to give you."

The Queen looked at her, her face impassive. "What is it?"

Sigyn handed the Queen the paper, her words spilling out in a rush. "Please accept my resignation. I will remain in your service until you find a suitable replacement. Forgive me, Your Majesty, but I feel I can no longer serve you to the best of my abilities." She took a deep breath, fighting back tears. "This is for the best. For everyone."

The Queen took the paper, unfolding it to read over the words written on it. After a moment, she folded it back up, handing it back to Sigyn with a sigh. "I will not accept this."

"I'm sorry?"

"I will not accept your resignation, Sigyn." The Queen pointed to a chair next to her desk. "Sit down."

Sigyn did as she was asked, puzzled with the turn of events. This was not going as she planned. She kept her eyes down, waiting for the Queen to speak.

"Sigyn, I'm going to ask you a question. I don't want you to think about the answer, I just want you to say the first thing that comes to your mind, understood?"

"Yes, Your Majesty." Sigyn wasn't sure what to expect, but the Queen's question was still something of a shock.

"How strong are you feelings for Loki?"

Sigyn had never voiced it, but in her heart she knew there was only one answer. She loved him, completely and wholeheartedly. But _he_ was the one that needed to hear it, not his mother. She chose her words carefully.

"My feelings for him...they are stronger than I have ever felt for anyone before, Your Majesty." As she spoke, it was as if a dam had burst inside her. Her face crumpled, and she began to cry. "But that doesn't matter anymore." She took the Queen's hand, not caring how improper she was behaving. She was desperate for someone - anyone - to listen. "I said something without thinking, Your Majesty. If he would just give me a chance to explain, i-if I could just make him understand…" Her words trailed off as another sob wracked her body.

The Queen sat in silence, patting Sigyn's hand and waiting for her to compose herself.

After a moment, Sigyn took a deep breath. "I'm so sorry, Your Majesty. I promised you that I would not let my relationship with Loki affect my service to you, and yet look at me." Sigyn wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Please, forgive me."

"There is nothing to forgive, dear." She looked over Sigyn's shoulder, as if gathering her thoughts. "Our feelings are not always logical. They sometimes make fools of even the wisest among us." She pulled a handkerchief from her gown, handing it to Sigyn. "When your duties are finished for the day, I want you to find Loki and talk to him. I am certain he will allow you the chance to explain."

Sigyn dabbed her cheeks, already feeling better. "Thank you, Your Majesty. For everything."

The Queen smiled at her, handing her a list of duties for the day. "Now, dry your tears - I need you to fetch more parchment for me. I seem to have run out."

"Yes, Your Majesty. Right away." Sigyn stood to leave, setting her shoulders with renewed determination.

The Queen watched her leave, before rising from her chair to turn toward the opposite wall. "Are you still unconvinced?"

Loki stood there, having concealed himself from Sigyn. Hearing her words, seeing how upset she was - he knew she was telling the truth. "No, Mother."

"Well, then. When she finds you this afternoon, for _once_ in your life, be ready to listen."


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: If I may be so bold as to recommend some mood music for this chapter, I suggest "Group Four" by Massive Attack. You can find it on YouTube. It's about 8 minutes long - it has a slightly foreboding beginning, with a satisfying conclusion. Much like this chapter. ;)

* * *

A note came for Sigyn right before her duties were completed. It was short and to the point.

_Come to my chambers, and we will talk._

There was no signature, just a seal in green wax - a horned helm - to indicate who sent it.

She had only the vaguest idea of where Loki's chambers were, but she knew she was in the right place when she saw the door - it was elaborate, much like his armor. There was no mistaking it for anything but the chambers of a prince. Sigyn knocked twice, rapidly, before she changed her mind and fled.

"Come in." There was no anger, yet no affection in the words. Sigyn thought blind rage would have been better than the guarded and controlled voice that greeted her.

The door made no noise as it swung in on well-oiled hinges, revealing a sumptuous room lit by the fading daylight outside the windows and the warmth of a fire just out of sight. _Particular about every detail_, she thought. _Not surprising._

His chambers were only slightly smaller than those of the Queen, but every available expanse of wall was covered in shelves, all of them heavy with volumes of material. He hadn't been lying when he said he had quite a collection of books. Sigyn had hoped her first time to see them would have been under better circumstances.

As she stepped in, she took in the features of the room: the dark wood of the floor, the high ceiling, the sitting area in front of the fireplace. She tried to resist, but she couldn't help flicking her eyes to the ornate bed on the side wall, covered in a tangle of sheets and furs. It was the one area of the room that wasn't orderly, the one place that looked even slightly welcoming - and the one place she wasn't sure she would ever be allowed.

Loki was seated at his desk across the room. Wearing only a light tunic and breeches, his chambers were plainly where he allowed himself to relax and be comfortable. He made no move to get up and greet her, only motioning toward the chair across from him to indicate that Sigyn should sit. _He might be ready to hear me, but will he truly listen?_

His normally bright eyes were ringed in dark circles, as though he had not slept well since he last saw her. He watched her carefully as she settled in the chair, analyzing every movement she made. He was testing her resolve - and Sigyn was determined not to lose her nerve. He said nothing, apparently waiting for her to begin.

"Your Highness," she said, automatically reverting back to formality under his penetrating gaze. "Thank you for asking to see me." She couldn't be sure, but she thought she saw some flicker of emotion - regret? disappointment? - at her use of his title instead of his name.

"We did leave things quite unfinished."

"Yes we did," she said with a sigh. "I'm only asking you to listen, and when I'm done, you can decide if you want to pick up where we left off, or if you never want to see me again. I will respect your decision either way."

Sigyn continued without waiting for another response. She told him of her mother, and the pressure Dagmar placed on her to find a wealthy, connected husband. "I didn't want to say anything about it before, because I was afraid you would think I was with you for the wrong reasons."

"You can't deny that as a suitor, I would certainly raise your position in society." It wasn't a boast, just a simple statement of fact.

"Of course I realize that," said Sigyn. "But that's not why I was attracted to you in the first place." She could feel her voice rising in anger with every word, skirting the edge of insolence, but she could not stop herself.

"I avoided telling my mother about you as well, not knowing if it was worth telling her. Not knowing how you truly felt about me. Why would I hide you from her if I was only after you for your status?" She rubbed her hand over her chest, trying without success to ease the ache gathering there. It was getting more and more difficult to hold in the tears.

"Then she showed up unexpectedly, and…I-I panicked. I only wanted her to leave, so we could spend the rest of the afternoon together...alone." She leaned forward in her chair, reaching her hands across his desk. He seemed so far away. "I _never_ meant to hurt you. It breaks my heart to know that you think you're not important to me."

He leaned forward slightly, and she grasped his hands in hers. "Your Highness, I have cried more tears than I can count over the past two days. I haven't cried this much since my father died - if that isn't proof of your worth to me, then I don't know what is."

She released his hands, sitting back and gathering courage for the rest. She knew she may never have another chance to say everything she needed to say. "However, to be completely honest, I'm not just hurt - I'm angry. I'm angry you didn't listen to me, that you didn't give me a chance to explain before now. I'm angry that you would leave things unspoken."

Loki narrowed his eyes, opening his mouth to speak, but she continued. "I'm not in the habit of inviting men into my bed on a whim. You are not some sort of _trophy_ to me. I wanted to give myself to you because…because…" She drew a deep breath. "I love you. If we never speak again, you should at least know that."

She slumped in her chair, clasping her hands in her lap. She was emotionally spent from revealing so much to him, things she would have been happy to say in any other situation. But this…this was just draining.

She heard him stand, his bare feet making almost no noise he came around the desk. He stopped beside her to brush her hair from her shoulder. "Sigyn," he said, "I don't wish to talk anymore." He began to walk toward the door.

"I understand, Your Highness," said Sigyn, certain he was throwing her out. She stood and followed him with her head down, shame burning hot on her cheeks. _At least he allowed me to have my say._

Loki grasped her arm as she made to pass him. Instead of opening the door, he reached past her and bolted the lock in place.

"I did not say I wanted you to leave," he said, his voice low. "I only said I did not wish to talk anymore."

Sigyn barely had time to register his meaning before he closed the distance between them, pulling her in tight to his body. "For the first time in so very long, I am at a loss for words. Let my actions speak for me instead." He cradled her head and moved in to kiss her.

She stopped him with a finger on his lips. "Just so we're clear, I'm still angry."

"So am I," he said, moving her hand. "Just so we're clear."

His lips met hers, and she melted into his touch, deepening the kiss as she drew her hands up his back to pull him closer to her. All of the tension she held in ebbed away, all of the frustration and disappointment of the past few days pouring out of her. Her world narrowed down to just the two of them, everything else forgotten.

He broke their kiss and leaned his head back, keeping their bodies locked together. "One last thing. No more 'Your Highness'. Just _Loki_." He leaned back into her, nuzzling up her neck to whisper in her ear. "I will make you scream it until you are hoarse if you need help remembering."

Sigyn's eyes fluttered closed, her breath shuddering, every nerve in her body alight. "Yes…Loki," were the only words she could summon to her lips.

At that, he moved quickly, scooping her up into his arms and wasting no time carrying her directly to the bed. As he laid her across the top, she thought to herself that it was just as soft and welcoming as she had imagined.

She shifted and felt something hard at her back. Reaching under her body, she discovered a book - the binding covered in runes she couldn't read.

"No more books in my bed," said Loki, more to himself than her, taking the book and tossing it to the floor. "And no interruptions this time." He turned back to the door, an incomprehensible incantation on his lips. The bolt on the door shimmered, a spell freezing it in place.

Turning back to Sigyn, he climbed onto the bed and straddled her knees. Leaning over her on one hand, he began to unlace the top of her dress with the other, slowly and deliberately. She kept her eyes on his, feeling the fabric loosen and fall away, and with it, all of her remaining inhibition.

She looked up at him, his hair falling around his face and his eyes locked on hers, the green irises nearly swallowed whole in wide pupils. In that moment, she knew that she had no power to resist him - that she would happily do anything he asked of her.

He leaned in for a slow kiss, before rising back up and pulling the top of her dress down her shoulders and off her arms, gathering it at her waist. Eager to help, she lifted her hips off the bed to pull the dress down her legs and completely off her body, tossing it off the side of the bed along with her shoes.

Abruptly, he stood up, grasping her legs and pulling her to the edge of the bed, her legs hanging over at her knees. She leaned up onto her elbows, watching him as he took in the sight of her.

"Sigyn," he said, his voice shaky with anticipation. "I've missed you terribly."

He pulled his tunic up over his head, and the clear outline of his arousal against the front of his breeches told Sigyn just how _much_ he had missed her. Before she could catch her breath, his mouth was back on hers, their chests skin to skin, her hands tangled in his hair.

He slid down her body, his mouth and hands traveling down her neck, to her breasts and across her belly. Finally, he was on his knees beside the bed, his nimble fingers hooking into the top of her undergarments and pulling them smoothly down her legs, baring her body to him completely.

She'd only had a few lovers, but none of them were ever this intense. Loki's gaze traveled the whole of her form, as if he was memorizing every part of her. It was too much to bear, and Sigyn threw her arm up over her eyes, unable to stand the scrutiny.

"No, no," he said, reaching up to move her arm away. "Don't hide from me."

He skimmed his palms back down over her body before stopping at her knees. Slowly, gently, he pushed her legs apart, kissing up the insides of her thighs before finally setting his mouth to her center. She raised her feet to the edge of the bed, allowing her knees to fall to the sides, a litany of praise and affirmations streaming from her mouth.

He kept his hands on her hips, holding her down onto the bed, relentless in his attentions. One last expert brush of his tongue, and the air was sucked from her lungs in a long moan, one hand fisted in his hair and one tangled in the sheets as she came apart beneath him.

Loki gave her a moment to recover, his breath warm on her leg, before he stood, shedding his breeches in one quick movement. He leaned over her, one arm around her back to lift her and push her back to the center of the bed, where she wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his shoulders, pulling him in close.

She could feel his arousal pressed right at her entrance, and even in her state of bliss, she couldn't help but stiffen in anticipation.

"Relax," he said, caging her head between his hands, forcing her to look into his eyes as he moved into her. "I love you, Sigyn," he said, to her astonishment, repeating it between kisses. "I love you...I love you."

"I love you, too," she replied, without hesitation. "Never doubt it again."

He shed what little remained of his restraint, filling her completely with one final thrust. She had wanted this for so long, needed to feel him inside her so desperately, she nearly wept with relief. For a moment he stayed still, allowing her body to adjust to him. Any discomfort subsided quickly, and she traced her feet up the backs of his long legs before pushing her feet into his backside, encouraging him to continue.

He began to move in earnest, and she allowed her hands to roam over his body, reveling at the feel of the muscles as he drove into her, the pleasure exquisite. His lithe form was slick with sweat, and before she could stop herself, she lifted her head to kiss the edge of his jaw, the salt on his skin sharp on her tongue.

He sucked a breath in sharply through his nose, his rhythm remaining controlled, yet becoming more and more urgent. She guessed he was trying to put off his completion, but she needed him to let go and take his pleasure from her. She wanted nothing more than to watch him as he dropped all of his damnable self-control. "Loki..._please_," she said, her hand on his cheek.

That simple request was all it took. His hips stuttered as he released into her, her name on his lips, all of his desire and longing poured into it. She watched his face relax, his eyes completely unfocused, before he collapsed onto her, his head on her breast.

She ran her fingers through his hair as he clutched her, and she could feel his heart pounding through his chest. They lay like that for several moments, saying nothing, their breathing eventually returning to normal. Finally, he raised his head to her, his skin still flushed from exertion.

"That was wonderful...but we're not nearly finished yet."


	10. Chapter 10

Loki stood in front of his fireplace, conjuring more wood for the fire. It was just before dawn, and the nearly extinguished flames had left a slight chill in the air. He pulled his robe tighter around his body as he watched the fire grow, illuminating the room in soft light.

His eyes drifted back to his bed, and the woman sleeping there. Sigyn shifted in her sleep, and the furs covering her torso moved, revealing an expanse of bare skin. Even from his position, Loki could make out a few small marks his mouth had left on her at some point during the night, and he felt his body responding to the memories that flooded his mind.

The way the muscles under her skin fluttered when he grazed his teeth across her hip. The way her breath caught in her throat as he slipped his fingers between her thighs. Most especially the way his name sounded on her lips as she cried out in pleasure, her body shuddering beneath him, above him, around him.

He hadn't been sure of what to expect when she answered his request to come to his chambers. It was his sanctuary, where he felt most in control, which was why he had asked her to come there rather than any of their usual meeting spots. He had only wanted to talk, yet from the moment she had stepped through the door, the physical longing for her after two days spent apart had nearly consumed him.

Patiently, he had listened as she had explained her situation, but then…she had confessed her love for him. For his mother to assume as much was one thing, but to hear it from Sigyn herself was another matter entirely. Upon her admission, his own feelings had become terribly clear, and he knew he was lost. His sudden need to show her just how much he loved _her_ had been frightening in its intensity.

He wanted to memorize everything about her. He wanted to suck and lick and nibble every inch of her body, to cover her in marks and leave no doubt to anyone that she belonged only to him - and he had tried his damnedest to do exactly that during the night.

Loki had barely allowed the two of them any rest. Sigyn had drifted off a few times in his arms, but he had been so long without physical intimacy that it didn't take long for his body to demand more. He noted with happiness that - even deprived of sleep - she responded the same each time, open and warm and pliant, welcoming him into her as though they were made to fit one another.

With every release, he found the deepest, most hidden parts of himself shifting into something strange and new. He was shattered and remade, stronger and more resilient than before, down to his very bones. She made him feel invincible.

Satisfied with the fire in the hearth, Loki walked back to the bed, shedding his robe. The air was sharp on his bare skin before he covered himself back up beneath the sheets and furs, turning to watch Sigyn sleep.

Almost all of his previous lovers had been expected to leave the moment the act was complete. Only one or two had ever had the pleasure of servicing him more than once in a night, and even they weren't permitted to stay until morning. To his utter surprise, Loki realized that he would be thrilled if Sigyn never left his bed again.

* * *

Sigyn stretched, blinking her eyes open. She was disoriented for a moment, wondering why her room felt so different, and why she was sleeping in the nude, when she realized she wasn't alone. She looked to her side to find Loki there, watching her intently, his eyes wide in the dim light. Suddenly she remembered where she was and everything they had done, and she was torn between wanting to hide beneath the furs in shame and wanting to push him to the bed and have her way with him once more. He spoke before she had a chance to do either.

"How are you feeling?"

"Sore." He knitted his eyebrows together in concern, and she hurried to clarify. "The pleasant kind of sore." She moved her body closer to him, needing the warmth of his skin on hers. "Is it late?"

"It's nearly morning."

Her heart dropped. "Oh! I should go - I need to go home and prepare for my duties." Sigyn began to pull the furs back to get up when Loki stopped her.

"Don't worry about that. I've made your excuses for you."

"What? When?"

He pulled her into his embrace, encouraging her to rest her head on his chest. "I've sent a messenger with a note. My mother won't be expecting you today."

Sigyn's eyes went wide. "What did the note say?"

"Oh, not much. Just _'Mother, please excuse Sigyn from your service today. We will not be leaving my bed for the foreseeable future.'_ Something like that."

"It did not," she said, gasping in mortification.

She felt the rumble in his chest as he chuckled. "Of course not. I merely told her that you and I still had much to discuss. I cannot help it if she infers anything more than that. Especially since I sent a separate message requesting breakfast be sent to my chambers…enough for two."

Sigyn ran her finger over his collarbone, watching with fascination as a trail of gooseflesh appeared in the wake of her touch. "I guess there will be no hiding this development from the rest of the palace staff now."

"Is that a problem?"

"No, but…" She raised her head from his chest, looking him in the eyes. "Loki, I thought I'd lost you over a simple misunderstanding." She reached up to caress the side of his face, smiling as he leaned into her touch. "If we're going to be together publicly - as _lovers_ and not just friends - our relationship needs to be built on mutual trust. You need to trust that my feelings for you are genuine...and I need to trust that you aren't going to abandon me again."

"I'm not going anywhere, Sigyn," he said, pulling her tighter into his arms. "I meant what I said. I love you, and I don't care if every last soul on Asgard knows."

"Well, the moment my mother finds out, they will."

"Speaking of your mother...I would like to meet her, _properly_ this time. If we sent a message early, do you think she would be ready for a carriage to pick her up this afternoon?"

"This afternoon? So soon?"

"Yes. The sooner the better. If the entire palace staff knows of us, then certainly she should know as well."

"She _was_ very keen on learning more about my suitor. That would likely be all the motivation she would need to get here today." Sigyn worried her bottom lip with her teeth, suddenly anxious.

"You seem hesitant."

Having just lectured him on mutual trust, Sigyn knew better than to lie to him. "I'm just a little nervous that's all. I want her to like you as much as I do."

Before she could take another breath, he flipped her onto her back, pinning her arms above her head and settling his weight between her legs. "What's not to like?" he asked, leaning in for a blistering kiss. Her mind barely had time to process thoughts of his apparently endless stamina when there was a knock on the door.

Reluctantly, he pulled his mouth from hers and began to retreat from the bed with a groan. "That must be breakfast." He smiled down at her as he pulled his robe back on. "As much as I hate the interruption, I _have_ worked up quite an appetite."

* * *

After breakfast, Sigyn had written a note to her mother to be delivered as soon as possible that morning. Much to Loki's chagrin, she had insisted on going back to her apartment to freshen up and change clothes. He made her swear that she would return quickly - and that she would come back prepared to spend the night again. She promised she would, but only if he allowed her more sleep than the previous night - she did not want to nod off accidentally during her duties the next day.

She packed a small bag, and made it back to the palace with just enough time to take it to Lokis' chambers - saying a silent prayer of thanks that he was not there to distract her - before going to the courtyard to await her mother's appearance. It wasn't long before the sleek black coach pulled in. She knew her mother would have been quite impressed by the sight of it when it came for her.

She watched as her mother exited the carriage, wearing her nicest dress, just as Sigyn had suggested. Dagmar smiled demurely to the coachman as he helped her down, and once again, Sigyn thought to herself that given the right motivation, her mother would certainly be able to find another husband easily.

"This was quite the surprise," Dagmar said when she caught sight of Sigyn.

"Thank you for coming, Mother," said Sigyn. "I'm sorry for the short notice."

If she was upset, Dagmar had the grace not to show it. "It's alright, darling." She took in Sigyn's appearance. "You're looking much better than when I saw you last."

"Thank you," Sigyn replied, kissing Dagmar on her cheek before leading her into the palace. "Things have certainly improved quite dramatically for me since then."

"I will admit, I am very anxious to meet this mystery suitor of yours," said Dagmar, her face lighting up with expectation.

"And he is anxious to meet you," Sigyn replied, turning a corner to lead her mother down an expansive corridor.

"Darling, I must ask - why here at the palace?" Dagmar asked. "Does he work here with you?"

"In a sense."

"Well, I do hope he comes from a good family."

Dagmar had never really been very far into the palace before, and Sigyn watched with amusement as her mother took in the sights around her, peppering her with questions. Sigyn had to continually remind her that they were expected soon - a grand tour of the palace could come later.

Finally, they came to the room Sigyn was searching for. "Should we be here, dear?" Dagmar looked around worriedly. "This seems like a private area."

"It's alright, Mother," said Sigyn, turning to Dagmar. "I've been asked to bring you here." With that she turned the handle, leading her mother into the room.

It was one of the smaller sitting rooms of the palace, usually used for greeting local dignitaries. Loki was there alone, perched anxiously in a seat near a window. He rose to greet them as they entered, striding towards them with all the confidence and poise becoming of his station. Sigyn's breath momentarily stopped at the sight of him, stunning in his more formal layers of cloth and leather. _By the heavens he is beautiful._

Resisting the sudden urge to embrace him, she turned to Dagmar. "Mother, may I introduce His Royal Highness, Prince Loki Odinson." Turning back to Loki, she said, "Your Highness, my mother, Dagmar Sigmundsdottir."

Dagmar took his outstretched hand, bowing in reverence. "Your Highness, forgive us, but I believe we are in the wrong place." She turned back to Sigyn with a scowl. Under her breath, she said "Sigyn, I told you we shouldn't be here. Where is your suitor?"

Sigyn opened her mouth to reply, but Loki spoke before she could. "Lady Sigmundsdottir, _I_ am Sigyn's suitor," he said, his most charming smile on his face. "I am most honored to finally meet you."

For a moment, Dagmar's eyes went so wide Sigyn feared they would fall out of her head. "Your Highness…y_ou_ are her suitor?" Dagmar turned back to her daughter, and Sigyn knew exactly what she was going to say an instant before she said it. "You told me he was no one important!"

_By the Nine…not this again. _She managed to hiss out "Mother-" between her teeth before Loki cut her off.

"Did she now? Far be it from me to disagree with you, but surely you must have misheard her."

"Well, Your Highness, certainly my hearing is not what it once was. Perhaps I misunderstood."

Sigyn watched in disbelief as Dagmar melted beneath his gaze, a blush on her cheek. Bemused, Sigyn realized that it had only been a few short moments, and her mother was already enamored with Loki. _This is already going better than I feared it would._

Loki offered his arm to Dagmar, who took it happily, allowing him to lead her in a turn about the room. He was patient and attentive to her, despite the endless queries Dagmar was throwing at him about his family, life at the palace, and even the decor of the room.

Sigyn stayed back, not wanting to interrupt and break the spell Loki was weaving over her mother. She heard the door open behind her, and turned to see some of the kitchen staff bringing in food. She thought to herself that Loki must have arranged for a meal, and was once again astounded by his attention to detail. He clearly wanted to make a good impression.

"Sigyn? Is that you?"

At the sound of her name, Sigyn turned to find Ingrid, the kitchen maid Edmund had been seeing. She approached Sigyn quickly, her face a mask of shock.

"Oh my heavens, there was talk in the kitchens about Prince Loki having overnight company in his chambers last night. I would never have guessed it was you!"

Sigyn just smiled at her, unsure of what to say. She knew that the topic would have been discussed amongst the staff, but she was still surprised at how fast the news had travelled.

"Does Edmund know of your relationship? He never mentioned anything about it to me."

"Yes, but he was sworn to secrecy. I'm sure that's why he never said anything."

"Is that your mother?" asked Ingrid, indicating Dagmar. "He must be rather serious about you."

"It certainly feels that way," said Sigyn. "He asked to meet her."

"Edmund has never introduced me to her," said Ingrid, and Sigyn thought she saw a look of annoyance momentarily pass over her face. "I don't suppose you..."

"Oh, Ingrid - I would love to introduce you, but don't you think that's Edmund's responsibility? I would hate to overstep my bounds."

"You're probably right," said Ingrid, lowering her head. "Besides, I don't think I would be nearly as impressive right now as a prince of the realm."

"Oh, I didn't mean to imply-"

"No, it's fine! I completely understand," said Ingrid, brushing her off. "I'll just have to wait patiently for Edmund to decide what to do." She took a deep breath, collecting herself. "I should probably get back to my duties."

Suddenly, Ingrid stunned Sigyn with a quick hug. "Congratulations." She dashed off before Sigyn could reply.

Sigyn heard Loki's voice behind her, and she turned to see him directing her mother to the table. "It looks like our meal is here. I hope you don't mind that I've taken the liberty of arranging for our dinner."

"Oh, not at all, Your Highness. I'm finding your company quite delightful."

Ever the gentleman, Loki pulled Dagmar's chair out for her, helping her sit before doing the same for Sigyn. He settled himself in right next to her, sitting across from her mother so they could continue their conversation. Occasionally, Sigyn would feel his fingers brush against her, trailing up her leg or squeezing her thigh - though his eyes never left her mother. Sigyn could feel her pulse racing at his touch, and she struggled to keep her face as impassive as his, trying not to have Dagmar suspect anything was amiss below the table.

While they ate, Loki filled in any moments of silence by asking Dagmar about herself, her marriage and her husband, but most especially about Sigyn as a child. To Sigyn's great embarrassment, Dagmar was all too eager to regale him with tales of her daughter's childhood antics.

She told Loki about the time that Sigyn had found an injured snake outside their house, and how she had cajoled her father into letting her keep it and nurse it back to health. "Ari hated telling her no," laughed Dagmar. "He would have given her the world if it had been in his power to do so."

"He must have been an extraordinary man."

"Oh, yes, he was," said Dagmar, her eyes wistful. "He was very protective of Sigyn...but I think he would have liked you very much."

"I am truly sorry that I never had the chance to meet him."

Soon the meal was finished, and Loki rose from his seat. "As much as I would love to continue talking with you Lady Sigmundsdottir, it appears that it is getting late. I don't want you travelling home in the dark. Perhaps Sigyn can accompany you back to the courtyard; the palace can be rather intimidating a place to wander alone."

They said their goodbyes, and Sigyn walked her back to the waiting coach.

"Sigyn," said Dagmar, the moment they were out of earshot of Loki, "I cannot find the words to express my excitement for you. My daughter with a _prince_! Darling, he is delightful."

"I'm so happy you approve, Mother. He means so much to me."

"The way he looked at you, Sigyn - I daresay you mean quite a bit to him as well."

She hugged her mother tightly before helping her back into the carriage, promising she would see her soon, before she went back inside. Loki was waiting for her in the corridor.

"I think that went rather well."

"Loki, I've never seen my mother so charmed. I'm afraid she may try to take you for herself."

"That's a shame," he replied, a small frown on his face. "She will be devastated to know my heart is already spoken for."

"Perhaps it's for the best," said Sigyn, moving in to place her arms around his waist. "I'm not sure I'd want to compete against her for your affections. What my mother wants, my mother gets."

"And what about you?" he asked, kissing her forehead. "What do you want?"

"There's only one thing I wish to do right now," she said, kissing Loki's jaw and working her way around to his ear. In the most seductive voice she could muster, she whispered, "Sleep."

He laughed. "I recall being interrupted this morning," he said, cupping her head in his hands. "First we need to finish what we started. Then we can _both_ sleep."


	11. Chapter 11

Several weeks passed, and though Sigyn and Loki fell into a comfortable routine, she realized that being the companion of a prince would take some getting used to.

Since news of their relationship had become common knowledge around the palace, Sigyn found it to be increasingly difficult to interact with the rest of the staff. There was never any outright mistreatment, but Sigyn was no fool. She could see the looks they gave her, the insinuations of suddenly being set apart from them.

She really had no deep friendships to lose and mourn, as it had never been particularly easy for her to make friends with the other workers in the first place. Edmund's protective nature had effectively discouraged any of the male staff members from talking to her outside of what was required by her duties. On the other hand, many of the female staff members were only interested in befriending Sigyn as a way to get to Edmund or his fellow Royal Guards.

However, the last thing she wanted was for everyone to think she was abusing her newfound privileges as Loki's companion and lover. She made it a priority to treat others in the palace with renewed respect and politeness, no matter how difficult it sometimes proved to be.

Once, she had been sent to bring one of the Queen's dresses to the palace seamstresses, and had overheard a snippet of a conversation between two of them as she entered the room. _That handmaiden, Sigyn? I suppose she thinks she's better than the rest of us now she's caught herself a prince. But it's only Prince Loki - she obviously didn't set her sights high enough. _

Sigyn had retreated hastily before she was seen, gathering her wits and clearing her throat loudly before she reentered. Perhaps it had been wishful thinking, but they had seemed somewhat abashed when they saw her, treating her with the utmost politeness. They knew better than to be disrespectful to her face, but it still disturbed Sigyn to know what others were saying when they thought she was not around to hear.

Despite her apprehension, Sigyn had not said a word to Loki about any of it. He had become very protective of her, almost to the point of possessiveness, and she surmised that he would likely react badly if he knew. She did not want the responsibility of another staff member losing his or her job on her head, hurt feelings or not. Sigyn wanted to be sure that she could handle her new circumstances without his intervention.

To Loki's great consternation, she also chose to sleep at her own apartment more often than not. Loki made it clear that he preferred having her in his bed - not yet _theirs_, a small but important distinction to Sigyn - every night, but she didn't let his frustration deter her. If she gave up her place at her apartment and her relationship with Loki suddenly turned sour, the only other option would be for her to move back in with Dagmar - something she desperately wanted to avoid. For her own sanity, she knew she needed to retain some of her independence, and staying in her own bed most of the time was the best way to accomplish that.

She loved Loki, and loved being with him, but that did not mean she was willing to completely give up what little autonomy she had left. She had allowed Edmund to have control of her life for so long - she was reluctant to allow Loki the same amount of power over her. He would just have to understand.

* * *

Loki met her outside the Queen's chambers after her duties, as he always did, but Sigyn could tell immediately that something was wrong. He was usually so excited to see her and spend time with her, but on this day his features were guarded. If Sigyn didn't know better, she would think he was on the verge of tears.

"What's troubling you, love?" she asked. She moved in to hold him - but his embrace was weak and lacked its normal warmth.

"Thor and I had a meeting today, with our father and his advisors. It seems that a decision has been made - Thor is to be crowned king in six months' time," he said. "A delegation from Vanaheim will be visiting Asgard three weeks from now, and the official announcement will be made at the gala being held in their honor." He stared at the floor. "I don't know how to feel about it."

"What brought this on? Why now?"

"Father says he has grown weary of the throne. He thinks Thor is ready to lead." He shook his head. "I'm not so sure he's right."

"Can you not voice your concerns to your father in private?"

He scoffed. "He would never listen to me. He would dismiss any of my concerns as fueled by jealousy."

"What of your mother? Would she be able to intervene on your behalf?" Sigyn felt as though she was grasping for anything that might ease his mind, but she was at a loss.

"I cannot run to my mother any time something doesn't go my way, Sigyn. Besides, she always defers to my father's judgment on matters such as these, and rightfully so. I don't suppose a king would be looked upon favorably if he allowed his wife to influence him too much."

Sigyn bristled at his implication. "I don't believe for one moment that you think your mother's opinions are not worth considering."

"I didn't say that, Sigyn. I only meant my _father_ may not feel the same way." He grabbed her hands, a loud sigh escaping his lips. "I know you intended to stay at your apartment tonight, but would you consider staying with me instead? Being with you would soothe my anxiety."

"I don't know…I didn't come prepared to stay the night."

"Well, what if I stay with you there?"

"After what happened the last time? I'm not sure that's a good idea."

For a moment, Loki's eyes held their usual glint of mischief. "I'm sorry Edmund had to hear anything. I can't help it if you're so…_vocal_."

"You swore to me that you cast a spell on the room to stifle any sounds."

"Did I?" he asked, looking wounded. "You must have misunderstood."

"No, I understood perfectly. I think you enjoyed torturing him." She cringed at the memory of what her brother may have heard before leaving the apartment in disgust, his muttered obscenities clear even through her closed bedroom door.

"Maybe a bit," he said. A small smile appeared on his face, fading away as quickly as it had come. A heavy silence passed between them before he looked up at her, his eyes serious. "Sigyn, please stay with me tonight. I don't want to be on my own."

He had a way about him, managing to look so innocent and vulnerable that it made her heart ache. She couldn't help but question his motives, but he made it so difficult to resist. "If it will make you feel better, I'll stay tonight. I just need to go home and get some clothing for tomorrow."

"Excellent," he said, shining his usual bright smile. "Let me go with you."

"That's fine," she said, "but I swear on Yggdrasil - if Edmund is home we're making a quick retreat."

* * *

The next day, Sigyn's list of duties was fairly short. Loki had informed her that the Queen's favorite dressmaker was going to come in and discuss her dress for the gala.

Sigyn was astounded at first, attempting to protest such a luxury. _You will be attending not as my mother's handmaiden, but as my guest. As such, you will be afforded the very finest clothing Asgard has to offer. _It was yet another reminder that being Loki's companion - while not without difficulties - certainly had its privileges.

Introduced only as Ranka, the dressmaker was a willowy woman, spare and efficient in her movements. She entered the Queen's chambers, and without any preamble, held Sigyn out at arm's length, sizing her up and muttering under her breath. Finally, she looked Sigyn in the eyes, declaring "Oh, I have just the dress in mind for you." Sigyn was a bit taken aback, thinking she would have more say in the design, but she said nothing. She was evidently going to be expected to defer to Ranka's expertise.

The dressmaker laid out several swatches of fabric for Sigyn's perusal, going into great detail about the features and materials used on them. Each one was more sumptuous and beautiful than the last - and every single one of them a variant of emerald green. When it was clear that Ranka was finished, Sigyn sighed. "Forgive me," she said, running her fingers over the fabric. "Do you have any other colors from which to choose?"

"Well, of course. However…" Ranka paused, considering her words. "Prince Loki…he suggested these."

Sigyn took it for what it undoubtedly was - a not so subtle way of marking her as his - and it caused a sudden surge of rebellion to flare up in her mind. She wanted _some_ say in the final design, even if it was only the color. "I'm sorry, but I don't want a green dress," she said, smiling to hide her irritation. "Show me something else."

The dressmaker opened her mouth to reply, floundering at Sigyn's resistance. "I'm not sure-"

"I'm sure," said Sigyn, cutting her off firmly, yet redoubling her efforts to sound polite. "Please, show me something else. Anything other than green."

"As you wish." Ranka returned to her bag, sorting quickly through the other swatches to find comparable fabrics.

"He's not going to appreciate you going against his wishes."

Sigyn started at the new voice, thinking she and Ranka were alone. She turned to find Sif approaching her, an amused look on her face.

"Lady Sif," said Sigyn. "I did not hear you come in. Are you getting a dress made as well?" Sigyn asked, wincing at the inanity of her question. Sif didn't seem the type to be keen on small talk.

Sigyn had only ever talking to Sif in passing, never having had the opportunity to spend any length of time with her, much less talk to her alone. Sif tended to be aloof and intimidating around people she didn't know well, and Sigyn was anxious to see if she would be any more relaxed in a private setting.

"Not exactly," said Sif. "I only agreed to have a new tunic made for the gala. It's not as easy to hide my knives in a tight fitting dress."

Sigyn was about to ask if Sif was joking, but from the look on the warrior's face she thought better of it. She didn't appear to be the jesting type when it came to her weapons.

"Well, at least you will be comfortable," said Sigyn. She indicated the dressmaker's paraphernalia. "Frankly, I'm a little new to all of this. Does it ever get easier? Being the companion to a prince?"

"In some ways, yes." said Sif, smiling at Sigyn. "I must say, I am impressed that you would not defer to Loki's opinion on everything. He can be rather _persuasive_ when he wants something."

"I am well aware, believe me. I'm actually quite grateful that he isn't here right now. I'm certain he would try to convince me to rethink my color choices."

"You know, I'm not sure Loki fully appreciates what he has in you. You are much stronger than I thought you would be."

"I like to think Loki appreciates my strength, even when it goes against him."

"I'm sure he does, whether he would admit it or not." She tilted her head. "You love him." It wasn't a question.

"Yes, I do. You seem surprised."

"To be honest, I'm grateful for any woman willing to put up with him," said Sif. "He's never been the easiest person to get along with, but Loki deserves happiness as much as anyone else. He certainly seems to have found it with you."

"And I with him. Truly."

"I hope for your sake that it remains that way, Sigyn."

Sigyn was about to ask her what she might mean, when Ranka returned from her bag with a handful of new swatches. "Here. Let us choose between these fabrics, shall we?"

"I will just wait over here until you are finished," said Sif, walking to the other side of the Queen's chambers. "Sigyn, it was a pleasure to finally talk to you."

"For me as well, Lady Sif," said Sigyn, watching as Sif walked away, her bearing as proud as any male warrior Asgard had ever produced. Sigyn couldn't help but think that she could learn a thing or two from Sif about being a strong woman among temperamental men.


	12. Chapter 12

_He's running, but he's not sure if it's from something or toward something, or if it even matters. _

_The burn in his chest grows hotter with every step, and he can feel his legs growing heavier, but he pushes on, faster, harder._

_Without question, he knows that he can't stop, he can't even slow down. If he does, something terrible will catch him or something wonderful will slip from his grasp. Maybe both. The thought frightens him - and he hates being scared. Fear is a weakness._

_A few more steps and he sees her. She's facing the other way, so he calls out to her. "Sigyn!" She turns to him, her face beaming, her smile - oh! her _smile _- but it falters, her hand flying to her mouth and her eyes wide. She sees what's chasing him and she's terrified._

_It's brief, only a moment, but he stumbles. Just a small hesitation, one missed step - but it's enough. He's caught in a swirl of fog, bitter and stinging cold. She calls out to him but the fog obscures his vision and she's gone._

_He turns to see what's behind him and-_

Loki's eyes flew open, his heart hammering in his chest and his breathing ragged._ Just a dream, it was just a dream. _He started to move, quickly realizing that he must have been struggling in his sleep, and that he had managed to tangle the lower half of his body in the sheets and furs that covered his bed. He knew that much thrashing about would surely have awoken Sigyn, and he started to reach for her, needing to calm himself in her arms. His hand hit empty space, however, and he remembered he was alone.

It had been a long week of entertaining the delegates from Vanaheim. Loki had been caught up every day and most evenings in the rituals of diplomacy and politics, and as a result, he had barely seen Sigyn outside of the times she had accompanied the Queen in her duties.

He had convinced her to spend the night most nights, to make up for the time they were missing during the day. She hadn't objected; in fact, she had been more than willing, considering his mother had needed more of her time than usual. Staying at the palace allowed her to be available to the Queen much quicker than she would have been had she stayed at her apartment.

Yet, even though she had stayed at the palace with him almost every night, they had not made love once all week - not for lack of wanting, but out of sheer physical and mental exhaustion on both of their parts. The week and all of its various activities were finally culminating in the gala that evening, and he didn't care how tired they were after it was over - neither of them were sleeping that night until he'd had his fill of her.

Sigyn had stayed at her apartment the night before, telling Loki that since she was attending the gala as his guest, she wanted time to prepare herself in peace. She also told him she did not want to walk to the palace in her new dress, and that he could send a carriage to collect her like a proper gentleman. Loki had agreed, laughing to himself that even though they had been as physically - and emotionally - intimate as any two people could possibly be, she could still insist on chivalry when it counted.

He disentangled himself from his bed, rising to prepare for the long day ahead. The dream was already fading from his mind, but Loki couldn't shake the sense of unease it had produced. He hoped it wasn't a portent for the rest of the day; it was going to be difficult enough to sit through the official announcement of Thor's upcoming coronation without the lingering sense of dread. He was finally going to get to spend some quality time with Sigyn for the first time in days. He refused to let anything ruin his plans.

* * *

Sigyn had just arrived home to get ready for the evening, when a young man arrived to deliver an enormous box from the dressmaker, Ranka.

She set the box on her bed and lifted the lid carefully, not sure exactly what to expect in the finished product. She had been to the dressmaker's shop several times since her first meeting, getting small adjustments and measurements taken for the process - yet she had never seen the full dress completed. She moved the paper inside the box aside, lifting the dress up and out.

Simply put, it was exquisite. In her wildest dreams - even as a child imagining her future bridal gown - Sigyn had never envisioned a dress as stunning as this one.

Fashioned from light gold silk, it was covered in row after row of gold embroidery, glittering even in the dim light from the windows. The neckline was cut to enhance her modest bust, giving her cleavage she had never been able to achieve before, culminating in sleeves that were in two pieces, made to leave her shoulders bare. The floor-length skirt was full and flowing, with layer upon layer of fabric both sheer and opaque, embroidered and not. A matching shawl in the bottom of the box completed the ensemble.

Sigyn's sole concession to the suggestions Loki had made to Ranka was the corseted waist. Made of overlapping pleats of fabric, it was a perfect mirror to Loki's formal clothing. Sigyn had kept quiet about the details of her dress to him, hoping that once he saw the finished product, he would think it lovely enough to overlook the fact that she had rejected nearly all of his ideas on color and style. She could only hope that he wouldn't be too disappointed, as it was much too late to do anything about it.

She didn't want him upset with her, not after the week they'd had. Most evenings, by the time they were both in his chambers together, there hadn't been enough energy between them to do more than just undress and collapse into bed - usually falling asleep in each other's arms without even a good night kiss. Her frustration and longing for intimacy had become acute enough to nearly drive her mad.

She was just about to draw a bath when there was a knock at the door. Answering it, she was surprised to find her mother on the other side.

"Oh, I'm so glad I caught you," said Dagmar, pushing past Sigyn into the apartment without waiting for an invitation. "I would have been waiting for you when you got home, but I seem to have misplaced my key."

"Oh, I'm sure it will turn up," said Sigyn, knowing full well that Dagmar's key was at the palace in Loki's chambers, well out of her mother's reach. "This is unexpected, Mother. I don't mean to be rude, but I need to get ready for the gala tonight, so..."

"I'm here to help, my dear. We haven't visited in a while, so I thought we might talk while you're getting ready."

"Oh, well, alright...that would be nice, Mother," said Sigyn, knowing it would be pointless to try and argue with her. "Make yourself at home while I take a quick bath."

Sigyn bathed quickly, putting on her robe before joining her mother in the sitting room. Handing her hairbrush and some hairpins to Dagmar, she sat on the sofa so she could help her with her hair.

"So, I take it things are still going well with Prince Loki?" asked Dagmar, brushing Sigyn's hair back and starting a braid on the side of her head.

Sigyn knew her mother was attempting to sound nonchalant, but she was obviously fishing for information. "Yes, of course. I wouldn't be attending the gala tonight as his guest if they weren't."

"There's no need for sarcasm, Sigyn. I just mean...are you still happy with him?"

"Very much so," said Sigyn, turning to look at Dagmar. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, it's nothing, really..." Dagmar let her words die out, clearly searching for the right way to phrase what she was really wondering. "It's just, well, I've heard rumors through friends that you've been spending the night at the palace quite a bit lately, and..."

"And you wish to know if I'm sleeping with him?" Sigyn hated to be blunt, but she was quickly losing her patience. She knew her mother would drag out the vague questions interminably if she allowed her to do so.

Dagmar drew in a sharp breath, attempting to act shocked. "Well, I don't want to be crass, Sigyn," she said, affecting a hurt tone in her voice. "I'm only curious, that's all."

Sigyn patted her mother's hand, looking up at her from her seat. "It is true, I have been staying overnight at the palace on occasion. And when I do, I stay with Loki in his chambers," she said, a small smile on her lips. "I do hope that's enough information to satisfy your curiosity."

"Yes, I believe you've said enough, dearest," said Dagmar, combing through another section of Sigyn's hair. "I trust he treats you well, then?"

"I have no complaints," said Sigyn, wishing her mother would drop her uncomfortable line of questioning. She wondered if there was something more to her curiosity. When Dagmar spoke again, she had her answer.

"I don't suppose he's ever hinted around about making your situation more...permanent?"

"Permanent? You mean marriage?"

"Well, yes," said Dagmar, finishing another braid and pinning it up. "It seems the next logical step in your relationship."

"Mother, it's only been a few months. Can Loki and I not just enjoy each other's company for a while longer?"

"Your father and I were only together a few months before he asked me to marry him."

"And it worked out beautifully for you, I know." Sigyn sighed. "Honestly Mother, I am perfectly content with the way things are right now. If Loki wishes to propose, then he will do so in his own time. For my part, I have no desire to rush things."

"Darling, I meant no offense," said Dagmar, brushing the last of Sigyn's hair and letting it fall down her back. "You can't blame me for thinking on these things. For wondering when I might have grandchildren to dote on."

"So that's what this is all about," said Sigyn with a laugh, rising to check her hair in the mirror. "You know, Edmund seems rather serious about Ingrid. Why not ask him about _his_ intentions? He is just as capable of providing you a grandchild as I am."

"I know, Sigyn. Perhaps I _will_ ask him. Ingrid is a lovely young girl, and she seemed quite taken with him when we met."

"I know she is glad you approve of her, Mother, as is Edmund." She walked to her room to retrieve the box with her gown, carrying it back into the sitting room. "Now...will you help me dress? A carriage has been arranged to pick me up soon. I want to be ready when it arrives."

* * *

Sigyn finished getting ready just as the carriage arrived to take her to the palace. Her mother had been in awe of her gown, remarking at its craftsmanship and how it made Sigyn look like a princess. The dress fit her like a glove, glittering and swaying as she moved; wearing it, Sigyn truly _felt_ like royalty.

Looking through the carriage window as it pulled into the palace courtyard, she could see Loki waiting for her. He was dressed in his ceremonial armor, just as he had been the night of the Queen's birthday celebration. He was missing only his helmet, which Sigyn knew he preferred to wear only when necessary, as uncomfortable as it was. Yet even without it, he still took her breath away.

The carriage stopped, and she waited for the coachman to open the door and help her out. She took a deep breath as she exited the carriage, anxious for Loki to see her all dressed up.

The moment her feet touched the ground, Loki was at her side, taking her hand. He held her at arm's length, looking her over, his face a mask of undisguised consternation.

After a moment, she couldn't stand the scrutiny any longer. "Well, now would be the perfect time for a compliment," she said, indicating her gown.

"It's...quite beautiful," he said, with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "It's just not what I expected."

"What were you expecting?" she asked, trying to hide her disappointment at his reaction. "A different color perhaps?"

"Well, yes. I was quite clear to the dressmaker about my preferences."

"As was I. And seeing as I'm the one who has to wear it, I thought maybe _my_ preferences outweighed yours," she said, hurt clear in her voice. She removed her hand from his, smoothing her palms down the front of her dress. "Is there nothing you like about it?"

"Forgive me, darling," he said, shaking his head and pulling her in to him. "The dress is beautiful, but you are more beautiful still. In fact," he said, leaning in close, "you look most beautiful wearing nothing at all."

Her stomach flipped at his words, and she couldn't help but smile. As frustrating as he was, he made it difficult for her to stay mad at him for long. "Well, I believe I can arrange for a private showing of that particular outfit later this evening."

"I'm looking forward to it," he said, holding his arm out for her. "More than you could possibly know."

* * *

To Sigyn's surprise, she and Loki were not seated together at dinner. Instead, she found herself seated by a woman named Svana, the wife of one of the delegates from Vanaheim. Loki was seated diagonally from her across the table, caught in a heated discussion with two of the other delegates for most of the meal. Now and again he would manage to steal a glance toward Sigyn and smile at her. She could only smile back, admiring his obvious conversational skills from afar.

Near the end of the meal, Odin stood at his seat, and the room quieted, awaiting his words. Sigyn listened halfheartedly, instead focusing her attention on Loki as his father made the announcement of Thor's approaching coronation.

To anyone else watching, Loki would not have appeared different from any other day. But Sigyn knew his face well, and she could tell - from the set of his jaw, his down turned eyes - that even though he had advance notice of the announcement, he was still displeased. As she watched, he downed the rest of his wine in one swallow, grabbing a passing servant to refill his glass the moment it was empty.

She hated to see him unhappy, but she knew her hands were tied. There wasn't anything she could do but make herself available for him when he needed her, whether he wanted to discuss his feelings or not.

Finally, the meal was complete, and the tables were cleared and removed to make way for the guests to visit and dance. As soon as he could, Loki found his way to Sigyn's side.

"Come, dance with me," he said, grasping her hand in his. "I can't take another moment of political diplomacy. I've barely been able to spend any time with you alone this evening, and I'm desperate for your company."

They made their way to the center of the room, and Loki pulled her close, swaying to the music. As they danced, Sigyn felt the crowd fade to the background, lost as she was in Loki's embrace.

"You look absolutely breathtaking tonight, love," he said, looking apologetic. "I am truly sorry if I didn't make you feel that way earlier. Honestly, if it would not be frowned upon in polite society, I would claim what is mine and ravish you right here."

Sigyn flushed, astounded that not only would he be so bold in a crowded room, but that his words still had such an effect on her. "I think you've had a bit too much wine," she said, glancing around to see if anyone could hear them. "You don't know what you're saying."

"Oh, don't I?" he asked. "Shall I be more specific?" He leaned in close to her ear, and proceeded to go into mind-numbingly explicit detail on what exactly he planned to do to her when they finally made it back to his chambers. Sigyn couldn't stop the small groan in her throat at the images he brought to her mind, leaning heavily on his shoulder to keep from buckling on her suddenly weak knees.

"You're positively wicked, teasing me like that," she whispered.

"Oh, I'm not teasing. Sleeping next to you every night this week with no relief - now _that's_ teasing." He looked at her, sincerity in his eyes. "I fully intend to make up for lost time when we're finally alone." She could only smile back, her imagination running wild with possibilities.

They made a few more turns as the music wound down. Just as the song ended, a booming voice broke into their reverie. "Pardon me, brother, but may I have the next dance?"

Loki turned from Sigyn, giving Thor a withering look. "Thor, I love you - but I don't think you and I are properly matched as dance partners."

"You are quite humorous, brother. You know I mean to dance with your lovely companion."

Loki opened his mouth to speak and paused. His hold on her tightened ever so slightly, and Sigyn thought he was about to tell Thor no, but he turned to her instead. "What say you, darling? Would you mind dancing with my brute of a brother?"

Sigyn looked at Thor. "I would be most honored, Your Highness." She glanced back at Loki, and for a moment, she thought she saw a pained look cross his face, nearly undetectable. Then he smiled, and it was almost as though she had imagined it.

"Excellent," said Thor, taking Sigyn's hand. "Don't worry brother - just one dance and she will be returned to your company."

Sigyn extricated herself from Loki's embrace, kissing him on the cheek before being led away by Thor. A new song started, and she felt herself being swallowed up in Thor's arms.

Though Thor and Loki were nearly the same height, Thor's bulk made him feel so much more immense. Looking up at him, Sigyn felt as though she was dancing with a bear rather than a man.

"Sigyn, I am so glad we have this chance to talk without my brother hovering over us."

"I am too, although, he does not appear to be as happy as you are," she said, nodding towards Loki, who was standing at the side of the room, drinking more wine and watching every move they made as closely as a hunter would its prey.

Thor glanced in Loki's direction, a broad smile erupting on his face. Sigyn couldn't help but think just how truly handsome Thor was, even if he was Loki's complete opposite. "I would not worry about him. From what I've observed of the two of you, I'm confident one dance with another man will not tempt you from his side."

"You are much more observant than Loki would have me believe, Your Highness."

"My brother doesn't appreciate my talents as he should," said Thor with a laugh. "And please, call me Thor. If Loki loves you as much as I think he does, we are practically family. There is no need for formality with me."

"Alright. Thor it is." _Practically family_. Sigyn wasn't sure how to take that. Perhaps her mother was closer to the truth of Sigyn and Loki's relationship than she thought, but Sigyn refused to dwell on it.

For all of his bulk, Thor was surprisingly light on his feet while they were dancing, and Sigyn told him so.

"Being a member of the royal family does have its requirements. Dance lessons, etiquette lessons, history, politics...it never ends. I would rather spend every spare moment in the training room."

He smiled down at her as their dance took them directly past Loki. "I must admit, however, dancing is much more enjoyable with a partner such as you," said Thor, his voice loud. She was certain Loki heard him, as the scowl on his face only grew more pronounced as they passed.

"Now you're just flattering me. Was that in your lessons as well? How to charm a woman?"

"No, I come by that ability quite naturally." They made another turn, and Thor nodded toward Loki - still watching them from afar. "My brother on the other hand...he's never had an easy way about him when it comes to women. He has changed quite dramatically since he's been with you. I daresay he seems rather _content_."

"I would never presume to be the sole cause of his happiness."

"If not the only cause, then certainly the greatest. And by far the loveliest," he said, brushing a stray hair from her face.

Sigyn blushed. "And I thought Loki was the one with the silver tongue."

Thor paused, a pensive look on his face. "In all sincerity Sigyn, it's obvious to me - and my family - that Loki loves you dearly. His happiness is my happiness. It makes my heart glad to finally be able to tell you how grateful I am that he has you."

Sigyn looked into his eyes, the brightest blue she had ever seen, and realized that she had never met a more sincere person in her life. When this man spoke, he spoke only the truth. "I am equally grateful that I have him, Thor. I've truly never been happier."

The song ended, and Thor walked her back to Loki. "Brother," said Thor, "you are quite the fortunate man, having a companion as lovely and mannered as Sigyn in your life."

"I am most thankful, believe me," said Loki, reaching for Sigyn's hand. "I trust my brother had nothing but kind words for you about me?"

"Of course!" said Thor, answering for her and clapping Loki on the shoulder. He turned to Sigyn. "Thank you for the dance, my lady," he said, making a show of kissing her hand before turning to leave. "If you will excuse me, much as I loathe it, I believe I have more mingling to attend to." He winked at her, before he turned from them and disappeared into the crowd.

Loki pulled Sigyn in close, in a gesture slightly more possessive than loving. "I'm ready to make our excuses and leave this party. What say you, darling?" he asked, urgency in his voice.

"Won't we be missed?"

"I doubt it. Everyone here would rather visit with the soon-to-be-king than his lowly younger brother."

Sigyn knew he was trying to be lighthearted, but she could see the hurt in his eyes. "Well then, take me to your chambers. You promised quite an evening earlier; I'm anxious to see the truth of your words."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "With pleasure."

He clasped her hand in his, and they made their way to the exit. As they passed through the doorway, Sigyn happened to glance at the Royal Guard stationed there, just as his eyes widened in recognition.

"Sigyn?"

Sigyn stopped in her tracks, her hand nearly falling from Loki's before he turned back. "Völund?" She had only seen him a few times since their disastrous night together, but she knew him immediately.

He bowed to Loki. "Your Highness."

Momentarily speechless from shock, Sigyn finally found her voice. "Erm...V-Völund, may I introduce His Royal Highness, Prince Loki Odinson." She turned to Loki, who was eyeing the other man curiously. "Loki, this is Völund Ericson, a friend of my brother," she said, trying to keep her tone casual. She didn't elaborate on her own relationship with Völund, hoping he would take the hint and also keep quiet.

"It is a pleasure to be properly introduced to you, Your Highness," said Völund, before turning to Sigyn. "You look lovely tonight. I trust you are doing well?" he asked, pointedly glancing down at where she held Loki's hand.

"Uh, yes...very well," She felt Loki's grip on her hand tighten, his impatience getting the best of him. "And you? Are you still seeing that seamstress? I'm sorry, I've forgotten her name."

"Mábil. And yes, we're actually engaged to be married."

"Oh, that's wonderful, really wonderful," said Sigyn. "Congratulations."

"Yes, congratulations," said Loki, clearing his throat loudly. "Now, if you will excuse us, Völund, Sigyn and I have somewhere we need to be." He smiled at the guard before looking at Sigyn, his eyes boring into hers with barely disguised frustration.

Sigyn smiled at Völund apologetically. "It was a pleasure to see you again."

"And you as well, Sigyn." He nodded once more to Loki, "Your Highness."

Loki pulled at Sigyn's hand, gently but insistently, leading her quickly away and to his chambers. He didn't say another word to her the entire way, his silence deafening.

Once they were in his rooms, and the door was shut and locked behind them, Sigyn turned to Loki. "Something's troubling you," she said. "What is it?" She was afraid she already knew the answer, but she wanted to hear it from him.

He walked back and forth in front of the fireplace, offhandedly making a gesture to bring the fire to life as he paced. Finally, he stopped, running his fingers through his hair as he turned to her.

"That guard. He was awfully familiar with _you_ to merely be a friend of Edmund's. Did you fuck him?"

Sigyn gasped, shocked by the rudeness of his words. All of the wine Loki had consumed during the gala had clearly loosened his tongue and softened his manners. "What does it matter? I'm not with him. I'm with you."

"Just answer me. Did you _fuck_ him?" he asked again, each word spit out through clenched teeth.

Sigyn took in a deep breath, steadying herself. "No. He fucked _me_," she said, wincing at the words. "Just once. Poorly and unpleasantly, I might add. Long before you and I ever met." She tilted her head, regarding him with wary eyes. "Loki, you know you weren't my first, and neither was I yours."

"Well, it's one thing to have the knowledge, but to put a face to it…" His words trailed off, and he pinched the bridge of his nose, as if fighting off an unpleasant headache. "Would that I _had_ been your first," he said, almost under his breath. He stared at the floor, dejection and defeat marring his features.

"Well, I'm glad you weren't," she said.

His head shot up. "Why? Am I that terrible in bed?"

"Of course not," she said, sighing in exasperation. "Loki, my previous experience puts into sharp relief just how superior you are, in every way. Besides, there had to be at least one other woman there tonight who has been in your bed, but I'm not questioning you about _her_. I think I deserve the same courtesy."

Sigyn closed the distance between them, putting her arms around his waist. "Loki, look at me. I am yours now, and only yours."

She tilted his head up to her, looking him in the eyes. She watched as his anger melted away, replaced with something more akin to regret.

"Poorly and unpleasantly, huh? How bad was it?" he asked, sounding uncannily like a petulant child.

Sigyn smiled at him, happy to stroke his ego if it would improve his mood. "Awful. No, _worse_ than awful. Abysmal. And quite...disappointing for me, if you take my meaning."

"Oh, I think I do," said Loki, pulling her in close, his voice low and his eyes suddenly heated with desire. "Are you saying he never had the pleasure of watching your face as you come undone?" he asked, stroking her cheek with the backs of his fingers. "Of hearing that sound you make right before, the little whimper that sounds as though you're weeping? Of feeling you shudder around him as you collapse, utterly sated and spent?"

At his words, Sigyn felt her face flush, all the heat in her body rushing to her center. "_You_ clearly have," she said, her breath shallow.

"Oh, yes," he said. "What kind of a man would I be if I didn't satisfy you in bed?"

"The kind I would only sleep with once, obviously."

Loki grinned down at her, victorious in the knowledge of his supremacy.

"Now," she said, taking his hand, "no more talk of previous lovers. Take me to bed and make me forget they ever existed."

Without another word, he led her across the room, alternately kissing her and shedding his clothes as she reached behind her back to unbutton her gown. By the time they made it to the bed, they were both down to nothing, their clothing unceremoniously dropped to the floor in their wake.

"You have no idea how desperately I've wanted you this week," he said between kisses, as they fell onto the bed together. "It's been absolute torture."

"Oh believe me," she said, her hands alternately tangled in his hair and roaming his body. "I understand."

She pushed him back onto the bed, moving to straddle his legs before leaning over him for yet another kiss. She reached down between them...and pulled back from him in confusion.

"Is everything alright, love?" he asked, concern on his face.

"I was just about to ask you the same thing," she said, looking down at his lap.

His eyes followed hers, growing wide in surprise to find his body decidedly relaxed and uncooperative - completely at odds with the frantic desire so evident in his words and actions.

"It must be all the wine," he said, blinking rapidly. "Come here, I only need a moment, I'm sure." He pulled her in close, rolling the two of them so he was pressing her into the bed. He began planting fervent kisses down her neck to her breasts, lavishing attention on them before giving up and moving off of her in frustration.

"I can't believe this!" He curled his hands into fists, slamming them down into the mattress.

She leaned over him, running her fingers through his hair in an effort to try and comfort him. "Darling, it's alright. It happens sometimes-"

"Not to _me_ it doesn't!" he yelled, slapping her hand away. He jumped up, throwing on his robe and stalking back and forth in front of the bed. "This is ridiculous," he muttered, disappointment and embarrassment clear in his voice. "Not good enough even for this."

She watched him, feeling helpless. "Come here, love. It's enough if you just hold me tonight. It's been a long day-"

He stopped pacing, whirling to face her. He was so angry, he was completely oblivious to the tears spilling from his eyes and running down his cheek. "I'm sure if you hurry, that guard Völund is still at the gala," he said, pointing toward the door. "Maybe, if given a second chance, he can please you better than I can tonight."

"What? Why would you say-"

"Or better yet, why not find my brother," he continued, his words barely more than a hiss. "You certainly seemed quite happy in his arms earlier."

"Loki, that's enough," she said, her voice firm. "I want no one but you, and you know it."

They stared at each other across the bed, the space between them feeling immense. As she watched, all of the anger seeped out of him, and his shoulders fell in surrender.

She pulled the sheets back on the bed, settling herself in and patting the pillow next to her. "Now, come here."

Loki sighed in resignation, dropping his robe to the floor and getting back in the bed. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice barely audible. She didn't know if he was apologizing or criticizing himself, but she was grateful that he had at least calmed down a bit.

Sigyn gathered him in her arms, laying back and resting his head on her chest. She ran her fingers through his hair and patted his back, at a loss for what else to do. Eventually, she felt his body relax, and she realized he had fallen asleep.

She lay there for a long while before falling asleep herself, hoping against hope that the next day would seem a bit brighter for both of them.

* * *

**A/N: In Chapter Eleven, Sigyn tells Loki that he can't stay with her at her apartment because, well...things got a little too loud last time and Edmund wasn't very happy. If you would like to read the extended version of that story (or as I call it, Chapter 10.5), you can go to my account on Archive Of Our Own (likeatumbleweed), and click on the story called Interlude. :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I just wanted to take a moment to thank those of you following this story - every review, follow, and favorite means more to me than I could ever express. I hope you continue to enjoy this story as much as I have enjoyed writing it. :)**

* * *

It was just after dawn when Sigyn awoke. Loki had shifted away from her at some point during the night, and was curled around his pillow as though it was tethering him to the bed. In sleep, he looked so fragile and innocent - so different to the angry and bitter man from the night before.

Her fear of leaving him alone in such a state was the only thing that had kept her from gathering her things and returning to her apartment during the night. He had said some truly vile things to her, but the way he had collapsed into her arms before falling asleep suggested that he was at least slightly apologetic, if not truly regretful.

Being careful not to disturb him, Sigyn rose from the bed and quietly made her way to the washroom to clean up and prepare for her duties. If she hurried, she knew that she could make it to the kitchens to get something to eat before she had to report to the Queen. Loki had likely arranged for breakfast to be brought to his chambers, but she wanted to be gone before it arrived.

She needed some time to think before they talked. His behavior the night before had been reprehensible, vacillating between loving and livid so rapidly that she couldn't be sure how to react from one moment to the next. She was certain that his overconsumption of wine had been part of the problem, but she knew that its main effect had only been to loosen his tongue to the point of rudeness. The things he had said were obviously on his mind.

Fortunately for her, Loki had recently convinced her to keep some of her personal items at the palace, for just such an occasion as this. She quickly pinned up her hair, dressed in one of her everyday dresses, and was just about to leave when she stopped. She knew he might come to the wrong conclusion about her absence if she didn't leave a note for him explaining why she was gone. The last thing she wanted to do was make things worse than they already were.

As she walked to his desk for paper and ink, she had to step over the piles of clothing they had left behind in their mad scramble for the bed the previous night. She glanced at her dress, unable to leave without at least picking it up. It was the nicest thing she had ever owned, and even if Loki didn't love it, it deserved better than being left on the floor of his chambers all day. She didn't touch his things; he could tend to his own clothing when he awoke.

She laid the dress across the sofa at the foot of the bed, and scribbled a quick note for him. She left it on her pillow, knowing he would find it easily when he woke up. He still hadn't moved, but she watched him long enough to see the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. Resisting her sudden urge to climb back into bed with him, Sigyn tiptoed across the room, silently shutting the door behind her as she left.

* * *

Around the third knock on his door, Loki finally awoke. The light from the window was as a dagger behind his eyes, and he fleetingly wondered why Sigyn hadn't already answered the relationship had long since become common knowledge to the other palace workers, and she no longer tried to hide when she spent the night. Another knock - likely someone from the kitchens bearing breakfast - and Loki sat up.

"Enough!" he called out, his voice still thick from sleep. _I swear, one more knock and they will be wearing my breakfast back to the kitchens._

Fighting off a wave of nausea, he looked to his side. He found a folded piece of paper where Sigyn should have been, his name written on the front in her flowing script. He picked up the paper as he got up, dressing in his robe before crossing the room to answer the door. He opened the note, barely acknowledging the kitchen maid as she brought the food in and set it on his desk.

_Loki, _

_Forgive me for leaving before you awoke. I did not want to disturb the sleep you so obviously needed. _

_I wish to talk about last night when we are alone again this evening._ _I want nothing to come between us. _

_I love you,_

_Sigyn_

"Your Highness?"

Loki looked up from the paper to the kitchen maid. He hadn't even realized she was still there. "Yes?"

He spoke softly, but he could swear he had startled her. "Apologies...I don't mean to disturb you. My name is Ingrid - I'm a friend of Sigyn's. Or, I guess, I'm more correctly a friend of Edmund's-"

"Yes?" Loki asked again, and this time his voice was stern. The girl looked like she could prattle on for a while, and with the way he felt, his patience was wearing thin. "Sigyn's not here, if you're looking for her."

"Oh, no…I already saw her this morning. She stopped in the kitchens for something to eat, and she asked if your breakfast was being prepared. You see, I was an apprentice for my aunt, an herbalist, before I came to work at the palace…" Something in Loki's face must have frightened her, and she hurried to finish. "Sigyn thought you may not be feeling your best this morning, so she asked that I use some of my knowledge to prepare a remedy for you."

At this, Loki was taken aback. He was well acquainted with spells that could cure his raging headache, but the fact that Sigyn would take the time to make sure he was comfortable - even after his treatment of her the night before - was an encouraging sign that he hadn't irreparably fouled things up. "That was very kind of her…Ingrid, was it? You have it with you?"

Ingrid smiled, visibly relieved at his reaction. "Yes, Your Highness, right here with your breakfast." She indicated a flask of hot water with herbs steeping inside. "Be sure to drink all of it. You should feel better in no time."

"I'll see that I do," said Loki, sitting at his desk. "Thank you for your help."

"Of course, Your Highness." She bowed to him, wisely recognizing a dismissal when she saw one. Turning on her heels, she hurried across the room and out the door.

Loki watched her leave, halfheartedly picking up a piece of bread and tearing a chunk off of it. His appetite was nonexistent, but he knew _not_ eating something would only exacerbate the problem. The bread caught in his throat like a stone, so he poured a glass of the herbal concoction to wash it down.

Without Sigyn's company to distract him, his thoughts inevitably turned to the events of the previous night. He had not been that drunk since he was much younger, when he and Thor were still testing the strength of Asgardian spirits; yet, he still vividly remembered every excruciating moment.

To his mortification, his body had refused cooperation when he needed it most, but he knew his overconsumption of wine wasn't solely to blame. As hard as he tried not to, he couldn't help imagining that damned guard rutting into Sigyn - _his_ Sigyn - and the resultant frustration and anger had been his ultimate undoing.

Illogical as it was, the thought that any other men had seen and experienced her the way _he_ had incensed him. Sigyn had assured him that whatever had been between her and Völund had been unpleasant for her, and long ago. Loki had no reason to believe she was being less than truthful. However, his nagging sense of jealousy - already on the rise from watching her dance with Thor - had overridden what had remained of his rational mind.

Finding himself unable to confront those who he felt deserved it, he had instead unfairly taken his anger out on Sigyn. And yet, she had stayed, holding him in her arms and smoothing his hair as he slipped into sleep, a gesture he knew was more loving than his actions had merited.

With all of Loki's previous lovers, the sex had merely been a means to an end, a way to meet his body's physical needs without any messy emotional attachments. With Sigyn, it was frightfully different. His longing for her was more than just a physical craving, more than even love. It was a bone-deep ache that - if left unchecked - threatened to erase his sanity for good.

Without even realizing it, Loki had allowed Sigyn to wield an unprecedented amount of control over him and his happiness. He wasn't content just to be next to her, or even hold her. He needed to be in her, be a part of her, to join her body to his; and yet, even that was never enough. He wanted to breathe her into his lungs, absorb her into his skin, taste her in the very air around him.

She was the kindness he craved, the beauty he felt he was lacking, the cheerfulness he had never been able to produce on his own. He could not rest until she was such a part of him that even a stranger would see her in his actions.

He leaned back into his chair, throwing his arm over his eyes to shield him from the sun until the herbs had a chance to work. The sharp pain had finally become more of a dull throb when he heard his door open and heavy footsteps cross the room. "Good morning, Thor," he said, not needing to uncover his eyes to know who it was.

"You certainly undressed in a hurry last night," said Thor, obviously commenting on the clothes strewn across the floor. "Your night must have been as eventful as mine. I swear, if Sif's desire increased that much at the mere announcement of my coronation, my cock may not survive the night of my actual crowning."

Loki rolled his eyes beneath his eyelids. _Of course _Thor_ wouldn't be troubled by too much wine. Is there nothing the golden son cannot do?_

"I'm so happy for you," he said, the mockery in his voice once again slipping right past Thor's perception.

"Are you alright, brother? You look ill."

Loki lowered his arm, wincing as the light hit his eyes. "I'll be fine. It's nothing a little time won't mend."

"Where is your lovely companion?" asked Thor, glancing toward the bed. "I would have thought to find her here with you this morning."

_And yet you walked right in without knocking. Hoping to catch a glimpse of something that does not belong to you, brother? _"Mother needed her early," said Loki, the small lie effortless. At that moment, he would have welcomed a sharp stick in the eye before he would admit to Thor that there was anything amiss between him and Sigyn.

"I see," said Thor, reaching to swipe some bread from Loki's breakfast. "You know, you left last night before I had the chance to thank you."

Loki raised an eyebrow. "Thank me? For what?"

"For everything," said Thor. "Things seem to be changing so suddenly. It seems we were only just boys, playing together, and now…well, my coronation will be here before we know it." He looked at Loki, his face radiant with sincerity. "You know, I wouldn't be able to face any of this without you by my side."

"Where else would I be, Thor? You are my brother, and I love you," said Loki, and he meant it. "Besides," he added with a laugh, "you _need_ me by your side. Everyone knows I'm the brains of the family."

"Indeed you are," said Thor with a smile. "We make quite a team, Loki. Working together, you and I could well be nigh unstoppable."

"Yes...unstoppable," said Loki, and for that one moment, he could let himself believe it.

* * *

Mid-morning, Sigyn accompanied the Queen to one of the palace's larger sitting rooms. There, they were to visit with the Vanaheim delegation once more before they returned to their own realm.

From her vantage point at the side of the room, Sigyn could see the women sitting together at a table, and the men clustered together in a corner. She was too far away to hear the men, but whatever they were discussing had apparently ruffled the feathers of one of the delegates. She watched with concern as his face turned red with indignation, his chest thrown out in defiance.

At that moment, Loki walked in - late, but looking a great deal improved from when she had last seen him that morning. Whatever Ingrid had concocted for him had clearly helped; he walked across the room, his head held high, showing no signs of discomfort. He caught her eye briefly, quickly nodding at her before joining the other men.

She watched as Loki took control of the conversation, soothing the angry delegate before the situation could escalate. The man visibly relaxed, shaking his head with a laugh. Loki's unmatched skills in diplomacy never failed to impress her; and yet, all of his tact and subtlety had disappeared with her the night before. Sigyn didn't know if she should be flattered or alarmed that she had such an effect on him.

"Sigyn, dear - come here."

At the sound of her name, she turned to see Queen Frigga waving at her, indicating that she should come join the women at the table.

She approached them warily. "Yes, Your Majesty?"

"Sigyn, it seems you made quite the impression on your tablemate last night. Svana here tells me you discussed your desire to become a diplomat yourself."

"Oh, that was a comment made in passing," she said, hoping the Queen wasn't upset. "I was discussing my family, and my father - how I had dreamed of following in his footsteps as a child. Please know, I am content in my service to you."

"And I am content to have you in my service. Yet, I wonder now if being my handmaiden is the best use of your talents."

"I am willing to do whatever you see fit, Your Majesty."

"Spoken like a true diplomat," said Svana with a laugh. "You don't give yourself enough credit, Sigyn. Perhaps being the companion to one so skilled in negotiations has influenced you more than you think."

* * *

As Sigyn opened the door to Loki's chambers after her duties, she found it to be much darker than she expected. It was still fairly light outside, but Loki had drawn the window shades tight, and as a result, the only illumination in the room came from the fireplace.

She had seen him earlier in the day with the Vanaheim delegation, but the Queen had been needed elsewhere, and Sigyn had left with her before she had a chance to speak to him. She had no idea what kind of mood he might be in, and the darkness of the room only served to increase her anxiety. For all she knew, his charismatic behavior with the delegates had merely been for show, and her evening with him would be no better than the night before.

Coming farther into the room, she noticed that the table that sat in front of the fireplace - usually laden with books - instead held candles, a few trays of food, and several flasks of water. Loki was sprawled into a chair beside it, rising to greet her the moment she came into view.

"What's all this?" she asked, coming a bit closer and nodding toward the table.

"After last night, I thought I should redouble my efforts to court you properly," said Loki. "I hope you can forgive the lack of wine," he said, sheepishly pointing to the containers of water, "but I thought I should abstain from it for a while."

"That's probably a good idea," she said, relieved that he seemed to be in a decent mood. "Ingrid was able to help you this morning, then?"

"She was. That was very kind of you to send her."

"It took some convincing," she said, making no attempt to come closer to him. "You apparently have quite the reputation with some of the palace workers for your temper. Until last night, I wouldn't have believed it."

At the set of his jaw, Sigyn could tell that she had touched a nerve, but he quickly composed himself and closed the distance between them. She offered no resistance as he gathered her into his arms. Instinctively, she knew it was the closest she would get to an apology.

She looked up at him. "Loki, we need to-"

"Go to bed?" he said, cutting her off. "I agree."

She sighed. "I was going to say we need to talk."

He lowered his head. "Yes, of course we do." Keeping his head down, he raised only his eyes to her. "May I kiss you first?"

Her mind was practically screaming at her to stand firm. _Damn it Sigyn, don't do it...he's manipulating you. You know he won't stop with a kiss. _But her body was starved for him, and she found herself pushing all thoughts of resistance aside and nodding her consent.

His eyes shone in triumph, and all at once, his mouth was on hers. His kisses were soft at first, but he quickly became possessive and insistent, holding her head in his hand as his thumb gently pushed on her chin to open her mouth to his.

Loki's hands roamed down her body, pulling at the laces on her dress to remove it. She finally gave up any pretense of control, and she could feel him smiling into their kiss, knowing that his victory over her was complete.

From that moment, neither of them could get undressed fast enough. They didn't even bother to try and make it to the bed, choosing instead to just fall to the rug in front of the fire as soon as the last of their clothing was discarded.

They collapsed into a mess of tangled limbs, and before she could catch her breath he had her legs wrapped around his waist and was pushing into her. When she managed to speak, it wasn't objections but declarations of love she found on her lips, returned to her just as ardently as they were given.

There was nothing gentle about their lovemaking; he was rough and aggressive, his every move that of a man intent on proving himself a worthy lover. The next day would bring bruises and aches that would make even the smallest movements uncomfortable, but in that moment Sigyn was more than willing to endure Loki's affections, whatever their manifestation.

He shifted himself in a way that changed the angle of his thrusts, and her body seized up - her orgasm so swift and unexpected that she burst into tears, overcome with relief and emotion. Loki slowed his movements considerably, his eyes wide with alarm, before she found her voice. "Please, don't stop...I'm fine...just, don't stop..."

He took her at her word, finding his rhythm once again as he leaned down to kiss away the tears from her cheeks. In no time at all, he found his own release, burying his face into her neck with a groan as he filled her.

It wasn't until much later, as she was falling asleep curled up in his arms, that Sigyn realized they had never talked about the previous night's events. She had tried to bring it up once more, but Loki had put her off yet again, telling her that he would rather make up for his awful behavior with actions instead of words.

To that end, he had taken her once more in front of the fire and then twice in the bed, until they were both simply too exhausted to try and have any kind of meaningful conversation.

With her last conscious thought, as her body relaxed and the darkness crept in, Sigyn wondered if they ever would.


	14. Chapter 14

As Thor's coronation drew ever closer, preparations for the ceremony began to take priority in every aspect of their lives. Sigyn found herself inundated with tasks from the Queen - everything from making sure announcements and invitations were sent out in a timely manner to helping plan the meal for the post-coronation banquet.

It was to be a realm-wide celebration, and as such, no expense was spared. It was exhausting work, with the details and minutiae nearly unbearable in their abundance, for both her and Loki. They saw very little of each other most days, and as a result, Sigyn had at last given in to his pestering, staying at the palace nearly every night.

She was thankful for what little time they could spend together, even though Loki's moods had remained somewhat changeable since the Vanaheim delegation had visited. He was never again quite as rude to her as he had been that evening, but he so steadfastly refused any discussion of his behavior that Sigyn had quickly given up any attempts at bringing it up again. There was no use in making the time they _did_ have together unpleasant.

At times, he would be gone entirely for a day or two, telling Sigyn he was visiting with dignitaries from other realms or finalizing plans for the celebration. When he was home, he would be in the library for hours, or would stay at his desk long into the night, studying spells he insisted were essential to the coronation. More and more often, Sigyn found herself falling asleep in his bed alone, even when he was in the same room.

And yet, occasionally he would join her, waking her with soft touches and sweet words…and she would welcome him to her eagerly and without fail. She treasured these times, for it was in those moments that she was reminded of why she loved him so desperately, the man to whom she had pledged her life and her heart - at least in her mind, if not yet ceremonially.

Dagmar continued to hound Sigyn at every opportunity for news on potential nuptials, a subject Sigyn had long since grown weary of discussing with her. For whatever reason - whether he was unwilling or unable - Loki had not made his ultimate intentions for their relationship more clear, but she was not about to pressure him for a proposal.

She tried her best not to dwell on it at all. She knew the upcoming coronation weighed heavily on his mind. But as he continued to get more distant, and their lovemaking became less frequent, Sigyn couldn't help but wonder if he was tiring of her after all.

* * *

With Loki gone yet again, Sigyn had decided to spend the night at her apartment. He had insisted that she could stay at the palace even when he wasn't there, and she usually did, but sometimes she preferred company to solitude.

She also thought it would be nice to spend some time with Edmund. Their circumstances had changed so much in recent days, she had barely seen him. To her astonishment, she realized she had actually missed him.

She let herself in, and went directly to the kitchen, not terribly surprised to find her mother at the table with Edmund. She certainly had a skill for showing up unexpectedly, especially if Sigyn had plans.

"Sigyn!" Edmund rose from the table, his face split into a wide grin. "I'm so glad you're here. I thought I may have to hunt you down at the palace tomorrow to tell you the good news!"

"Well aren't you happy," she replied. "It must be amazing news indeed." She looked to her mother's beaming face, and immediately deduced what had happened. "You're getting married," she said, snapping her head back to him.

"I'm getting marr- wait, how did you know?" he asked, genuinely puzzled.

"Look at her," she said, nodding towards Dagmar. "Honestly, I've never seen Mother look quite so smug and satisfied."

"Well, can't a mother be happy that at least _one_ of her children is settling down?" asked Dagmar, her words dripping in equal parts sarcasm and triumph.

Edmund turned back to Sigyn with a sigh. "I'm sorry, I told her not to be that way," he said, almost whispering. "I didn't want to upset you."

"Don't worry about it - I'm thrilled, _really_." She pulled him in for a hug. "You know, I've always wanted a sister, but I didn't think there was a woman on Asgard who could rein you in," she said, playfully slapping his arm as she pulled away from him. "What made you finally decide to ask her?"

"Well, I've received a promotion in the ranks of the Royal Guard. It's more responsibility, but more pay. I'll be able to provide for Ingrid properly now."

"Oh, Edmund, that is wonderful news! Congratulations."

"Thank you, Sigyn," he said, puffing out his chest. "As of next week, you're looking at the newest sentinel of the palace weapons vault."

* * *

Though he would never be able to tell her, it was Sigyn that gave Loki the idea he needed to disrupt Thor's coronation.

He had been ruminating on it for weeks, conjuring various ideas only to dismiss them just as quickly as he could think them up - too impractical, too time consuming, too destructive. Whatever he decided to do would only serve to delay the inevitable, but he knew Thor wasn't yet truly ready for the throne, even if their father thought he was.

And - if he was being entirely honest with himself - Loki also knew he would get no small amount of satisfaction from tarnishing his brother's celebration.

Time was running short, and he was nearly to the point of giving up completely, when a discussion with Sigyn one night had him rethinking his strategy.

"Loki, how many of the other realms have you visited?"

It had been yet another late night of him studying at his desk, and her voice in the quiet room startled him. She almost never interrupted his studies, and he had almost forgotten she was there.

He looked up to find her at one of his numerous bookshelves, a large book in her hands, watching him expectantly.

"Oh, at least four or five," he said, leaning back in his chair, his back cracking after sitting still for so long. "Why do you ask?"

"My father used to share stories of the other realms with me when I was small, but I've never had the occasion to travel to any of them myself." She flipped through the pages of the book, too quickly to actually be reading it. She looked nervous, almost sorrowful.

"Would you like that?"

"I would," she said, nodding to herself as she placed the book back on the shelf. She remained standing there, staring at the books but not seeing them, lost in thought.

"Where would you like to go?" _With me_, he almost added. _I hope you mean with me._

She turned to him, smiling, all sadness gone and replaced with enthusiasm. It occurred to him that he hadn't seen her smile like that in some time, and it made his heart ache to think he'd been blind to her unhappiness.

"Well, I hear Vanaheim is very beautiful. Although, I _would_ love to see snow," she said wistfully. "Perhaps Midgard, given that a trip to Jotunheim would be impossible."

"What, you don't want to risk certain death at the hands of a Frost Giant?" he asked with a laugh.

She shuddered, shaking her head with a grimace. "Now that is a horrible thought," she said, approaching him. "There are much more enjoyable ways to spend some time, you know," she said, taking his book from his hand and setting it on his desk. "You've been so distracted lately - maybe you could use a reminder."

She looked down at him, worry creeping back into her features. She appeared for all the world like she was expecting him to dismiss her and return to his book.

Instead, he pulled her into his lap, all of his studies and worries momentarily forgotten as he did everything he could to put a smile back on her face.

Much later, after he was certain Sigyn was asleep, he had risen from the bed and returned to his books. The germ of an idea had taken root in his mind. He had been approaching the problem all wrong; why do the hard work himself when he could get others to do it for him?

The most difficult part had been finding a way into Jotunheim that did not involve the Bifröst and Heimdall's prying eyes. Loki was no stranger to the hidden pathways among the realms, but finding one to the home of the Frost Giants - a realm largely ignored by most Aesir - had been tricky. It would not do to have his plans thwarted before they even had a chance of being carried out.

Taking up the disguise of a dark elf of Svartalfheim, Loki had met with a few Jotuns with ties to their king Laufey, convincing them that he shared their hatred of Asgard and wanted their destruction just as badly as they did.

Having been raised to see the Jotuns as a warmongering, foolish race of monsters, it had taken every ounce of his strength to disguise his revulsion of them. Yet he had managed to school his features into a form of friendliness - if the Frost Giants were even capable of such a thing.

Loki had never been averse to using treachery and lies when he needed to, especially if it helped him achieve his goals. And yet, he loathed being untruthful to Sigyn about his whereabouts and activities.

He knew how much she valued honesty in their relationship, but he saw no way of avoiding it. She couldn't know about his plans; if he was discovered, he did not want anyone to be able to charge her with having knowledge of the conspiracy.

Being a prince, Loki knew he could count on some amount of leniency for his misdeeds. He wasn't certain, however, that Sigyn would be shown the same amount of mercy were she to stand accused.

Loki knew if any harm were to come to her, from anyone at all, his vengeance would be unmatched, unending...and _unmerciful._

* * *

Sigyn awoke alone, Loki's bed large and cold when she was the only one in it. He had left yet again the day prior, assuring her that he wouldn't be leaving again before the coronation once he returned.

She missed him terribly, but she much preferred being lonely when he was gone to feeling alone when he was right there in the same room. It was a feeling she was experiencing more and more often as of late, one she was desperate to be rid of.

She could only hope everything would improve after Thor was finally crowned, but even that was beginning to seem doubtful. Thor would likely need Loki's time and talents even more as he settled into the throne, and she would be pushed farther and farther into the background.

Sigyn knew she could either sit idly by, waiting for Loki to decide what to do with her - or she could decide her future for herself once and for all. Being in control of her own destiny certainly seemed more appealing than pining away for something she might possibly never have.

Later that morning, the Queen gave her hope that her chances for a brighter future were greater than she had thought.

"Sigyn, we haven't spoken of it for a while, but I wanted to know if you've still given thought to furthering your skills in diplomacy."

"Actually, yes, Your Majesty," said Sigyn, hoping it was the right answer. "But I know we have been so busy; I didn't want to bring it up again until things have settled down. I do hope that I've continued to fulfill my duties to you in a satisfactory manner."

"Oh yes, of course, my dear," said the Queen. "I have no complaints."

"I'm very glad to hear that," said Sigyn, sighing in relief. "Out of curiosity, why do you ask?"

"Well, I know you remember Svana from Vanaheim. I received word that she would like for you to visit her soon, perhaps after Thor's coronation."

Sigyn was momentarily speechless, unsure of how to respond. "I think I would enjoy that very much, Your Majesty," she replied when she finally found her voice. "I would be most grateful for the opportunity."

* * *

The final stages of Loki's plan had taken hardly any time at all. The Jotuns were smarter than he had given them credit for, yet they never questioned him about his motives apart from what he had told them.

Their eagerness to retrieve the Casket from Asgard overrode any sense of self-preservation they may have had otherwise. It was a trait that would prove useful in their ultimate failure. Loki knew they would never make it out of the weapons vault alive.

It had been his last trip to Jotunheim, and he had returned to Asgard a full day sooner than he had anticipated. Upon his arrival, he went directly to his mother's chambers to surprise Sigyn. He was still keenly aware that he had been neglectful of her lately, and wanted to make it up to her if he could.

He reached the door to his mother's chambers unseen, silently opening it just enough to slip through the crack. He hoped to catch Sigyn alone, using his magic to hide himself from view so he could be on her before she knew he was there. Perhaps he could even convince her to defile his mother's chambers if the Queen was gone.

But as he sneaked further into the room, he could hear Sigyn and his mother talking, ruining his planned reunion. They made no indication that they had heard him enter, however, and rather than waste the opportunity, he decided to listen in on their conversation.

"I would rather not say anything to Loki until after the coronation, Your Majesty. He has enough on his mind without me adding to his burden."

"That's probably for the best."

His curiosity piqued at the mention of his name, Loki came closer, yet remained hidden. The two women came into his view, just as the Queen was reaching for Sigyn's hands.

"If I am to be entirely honest, dear, I will miss you terribly when you go. But I know you are making the right decision for yourself."

"Thank you, Your Majesty," said Sigyn, and he watched as she reached up to brush a tear away from her eyes. "I just hope Loki will be as understanding as you."

At that, Loki retreated, wanting to leave the room before he was found. It was suddenly all too clear to him. For whatever reason - his lack of attention to her, her boredom of him, or, Odin forbid, _another man_ - he was certain Sigyn was planning on leaving him after Thor was crowned.

He slid back out the door, as silently as possible, doing his very best not to break out into a run down the corridor. Something had to be done, and quickly, but it would not do to panic. He had to convince Sigyn somehow, someway, that he couldn't survive if she left.

For Loki, there was no life without her in it.


	15. Chapter 15

_**A/N: Just a quick note to again thank everyone who has commented/followed/favorited this story - and also those who have read it and silently enjoyed it. :) I appreciate every single one of you so very much.**_

* * *

"Loki, are you ever going to tell me where you're taking me?"

"It wouldn't be much of a surprise if I did, now would it?"

Sigyn sat at the dressing table in Loki's chambers, brushing through her hair and watching him don his armor in the mirror. After months of planning, Thor's coronation was just hours away. "Well, I suppose not. I just want to be sure I've packed appropriately."

He stilled for a moment, regarding her reflection as he adjusted the vambrace on his left arm. "I'm sure what you've packed is perfectly fine."

Sigyn smiled weakly at him before returning to her preparations. She and Loki had been busier than ever in the final weeks leading up to this day, with their interactions more akin to those of acquaintances rather than lovers. She had become increasingly convinced that his ardor for her had cooled considerably; enough that she wasn't even sure he would care if she travelled to Vanaheim without him after the coronation.

So she had been shocked when he had informed her only three days prior that he had planned time away from the court for the two of them alone. Shocked - and giddy with excitement. Vanaheim could wait; perhaps getting away from everything and everyone together would set their relationship to rights once again. And if not...well, no one would be able to say she hadn't tried everything in her power to make it work.

"You won't even give me a hint?" she asked, closing her eyes in concentration as she pinned her hair into a coil at the crown of her head. She hated to test his patience with her questioning, but the suspense was killing her.

"No," he said, his voice startlingly close. She turned in her chair to find him crouched beside it, looking up at her with wide eyes. "Do you not trust me?"

"Against my better judgment, yes. This time I do," she said, bracing his head in her hands.

He grinned at her, his face briefly displaying some of the mischief that had been missing in recent weeks. "Well, that was your first mistake."

He stretched up to kiss her, and Sigyn held his head to hers, reveling in the sensations he elicited in her - sensations she had gone far too long without. Endless hours of preparation for today, and all she could think about was how badly she wanted it to finally be over so she and Loki could escape together. She had nearly decided to push him to the floor and begin their own celebration early when he pulled away.

"Forgive me," he said, pressing his forehead to hers. "As much as I would love to stay here with you, I'm needed elsewhere."

"I understand," she said, her disappointment threatening to reduce her to a weeping mess. "Can you help me with my dress before you go?"

"Of course."

Her gown was laid out across the bed, tailored with dainty cap sleeves and a full skirt. She dropped her robe and stepped into it, turning so Loki could fasten the buttons that trailed down her back. As she felt his fingers skim lightly down her bare skin before starting with the bottom button, her eyes fluttered closed with renewed hope. The evening couldn't come fast enough, even if Loki _was_ being secretive about their destination.

As Loki finished with the last button, she spun around, the gold flecks in the pale green fabric shimmering in the dim light. She had chosen the fabric especially for Loki; she knew this day was going to be difficult for him, and she felt that wearing a green dress was the least she could do to show her devotion to him.

"You look breathtaking," he said, taking her in. "Are you certain we must stay through the banquet?"

"Oh, love. Your mother and I have worked hard for months; at least let me see the product of all my labor."

"If you insist. But the moment we can sneak away, you are all mine."

"All yours," she agreed, and she was - completely and wholeheartedly - for as long as he would have her.

* * *

The ceremony was about to begin, and Loki found himself alone near the entrance to the throne room, pacing - something he was doing more and more often as of late.

He reached to run his fingers through his hair, finding them blocked by the helmet he kept forgetting he wore. He could scarcely keep his mind calm. He stopped, willing himself to relax. He couldn't afford to raise anyone's suspicions.

So many plans and machinations coming to fruition, the culmination of all his plans imminent after what had seemed an endless wait. But by that evening, it would all be over, and he and Sigyn would be gone.

Convincing his mother to give up her handmaiden's services for an entire week had been no small task. He would have taken Sigyn anyway, with or without his mother's consent, but he was grateful it hadn't come to that. The Queen was going to be upset enough when she found out his true purpose for the trip - a purpose he hadn't even told Sigyn.

Thor could have his precious crown. By that time the next day, Loki would have an even greater prize - a _wife_.

Finding a magistrate willing to perform the rites had been his foremost task. Loki had disguised himself just enough to quell any suspicion of his true identity, but the gold he carried - along with the promise of more when the ceremony was complete - was enough to both keep the man from asking too many questions and ensure his discretion.

His parents would be furious that he had forgone all the rules of etiquette and royal protocol - in fact, Loki fully expected the queen to insist on planning a more elaborate ceremony upon their return. He wouldn't deny his mother the pleasure, but he had waited long enough. He was not going to waste another day with the fear of losing Sigyn burdening his heart.

Loki knew leaving Sigyn in the dark about his plans risked her rejection, but he was confident she wouldn't refuse him. He had seen the look in her eyes when she told him of Edmund's engagement - the look that spoke more clearly of her desires and fears than any thought she had ever voiced aloud.

An overwhelming desire for Loki to marry her…and a deep-seated fear he never would.

He was certain that's what had prompted her to look to leaving him. Had he been able to, he would have taken her the very day he had overheard her conversation with his mother, ridding her of her doubts once and for all; yet he knew in this instance, patience would be of the utmost importance.

Loki had no real hope that the Jotun contingent would make it in time to stop the coronation itself, but they would most assuredly mar the first day of the new king's reign. Perhaps Thor would even do something foolish enough to make their father reconsider and revoke his power. It was not unthinkable.

Waiting until after the coronation to escape with Sigyn would serve a dual purpose. His marriage to her was of course primary, but it would also allow him to be gone when Thor put into action whatever ill-advised retaliation he was sure to concoct against Jotunheim.

But when that happened, Loki planned to be enjoying his marriage bed with his new bride - far away from the distractions that had threatened to take her from his side.

He heard the doors to the anteroom swing open, and his brother's booming voice immediately after - _Another!_ - followed by the sound of something shattering as it was thrown into a fire, likely a goblet of wine. The thought crossed Loki's mind that Thor's insistence on destruction - even down to tableware - would certainly prove useful in the coming days.

Loki stepped around one of the curtains flanking the room, just in time to see his brother stop near the stairs leading to the throne room itself. For a split second, Thor looked almost worried, but the moment he spotted Loki he broke into a grin, confident as ever.

They made jabs at each other about their helmets and their talents, the playful banter of two brothers belying the truth of their circumstance: one was about to be crowned king, the other relegated to second-best status permanently. Loki had never truly wanted to be king, but he had been raised to think it was a _possibility_. That knowledge alone had certainly appealed to him, even if it was clear now that his father had always intended for Thor to ascend the throne - whether he was suited to it or not.

And so, as he stood with Thor and the insidious beginnings of guilt began to form in his mind, he was able to push it aside, convinced that was he was doing was right.

Not just for him, but for all of Asgard.

* * *

Sigyn stood amongst the honored guests at the front of the throne room, her view perfect for watching the ceremony. She chatted politely with those around her, anxiously looking toward the back of the room every so often for any sign that the coronation was about to begin.

The crowd began to hush just as she glanced back once more, and this time she was rewarded with the sight of Loki and his mother hand in hand. They approached the throne, their comportment and bearing full of the easy confidence that only those born into royalty could ever truly have. It still astounded Sigyn to know that _she_ - a minor nobleman's daughter - had captured the heart of a prince. She just hoped she had what it took to keep it.

They reached the foot of the stairs leading up to the dais where Odin sat, occupying the throne for the last time as king. His face was inscrutable, giving away nothing as his wife and youngest son bowed to him in reverence before taking their places of honor on the stairs.

As she watched, Loki turned her direction, his eyes immediately finding her in the crowd. He smiled broadly, and she knew she was going to have a difficult time taking her eyes off of him during the ceremony. The more she thought about it, the more she considered skipping the banquet after all. The sooner she could be back in his arms - doing whatever she could to convince him of her loyalty - the better.

Just before her thoughts turned completely scandalous, the crowd once again turned toward the back of the room, cheering loudly as the king-to-be made his way down through the dual rows of Royal Guards. He held Mjolnir aloft to the delight of the revelers, the glint of the metal matching the shine of his armor and helmet. He radiated confidence, bordering on arrogance, but his enthusiasm was infectious. The cheers only got louder until he stopped at the base of the stairs, the sound of Mjolnir hitting the floor echoing through the hushed hall as he knelt before his father.

Sigyn watched as Thor nodded to his friends Volstagg, Fandral, and Hogun, perched on one side of the stairs, and then turned to his mother, brother and companion Sif. He winked at the female warrior, and his cheekiness earned a disapproving look from the Queen.

Watching his behavior, it was unsettling to think that maybe Loki was right - maybe Thor _wasn't_ ready to lead Asgard - but it was much too late to do anything about it now. Sigyn knew that beneath Thor's rash and cocky exterior lay the heart of a king, ready to fight and die for the people he loved most dearly. She only hoped that Loki could temper Thor's boldness with calculation and cunning, ensuring it would never have to come to that.

Odin rose from the throne, striking Gungnir on the ground to quiet the last of the noise in the great hall. The silence was overwhelming, everyone straining to hear the words being spoken. There had not been a ceremony like this in most of these Asgardians' lives, and there would likely not be again for some time. Nobody wanted to miss a moment.

As Odin spoke, Sigyn was surprised to hear a softness in his voice, his words filled with pride and love for his firstborn son. Even so, it carried easily throughout the hall as he led Thor through the ceremony. He spoke of how Thor had been entrusted with Mjolnir - _a fit companion to a King_ - and then through the oaths upon which Thor would pledge his commitment: to guard the Nine Realms, to preserve the peace, to cast aside all selfish ambition and pledge himself only to the good of the realm - Thor's _I swear! _getting louder with each declaration.

And then at last, the words they had waited so long to hear.

"I, Odin Allfather, proclaim you…"

He paused, the silence seeming to stretch on forever, and when he spoke again his words were the last anyone would have expected to hear.

"Frost Giants."

Sigyn barely had time to process what he had said when Gungnir came crashing to the floor again. The guests around her erupted in hushed bewilderment - _did he say Frost Giants?…where?…are we under attack? _- as she automatically sought Loki in the increasingly confused crowd.

She finally found him, huddled together with his father and Thor near the foot of the stairs, and as she fought to get closer to them she could hear the last of Odin's instructions to his sons.

"We must hurry. I've summoned the Destroyer, but there may be more."

They ran off before Sigyn could reach them, and she stopped, trying not to panic. She turned to find someone, _anyone_ with answers, her eyes lighting on the Warriors Three and Sif.

"Lady Sif!" called Sigyn, hurrying to her side. "What's happened? Are we safe?"

"I'm not sure," replied Sif, her voice unnaturally calm in the growing chaos. "I don't know how, but it seems Frost Giants have attacked the weapons vault."

She continued to speak - something about the Jotuns trying to reclaim an ancient relic belonging to them - but Sigyn barely heard a word. Her eyes went wide in alarm as one thought kept running through her mind.

Frost Giants. In the weapons vault.

_Edmund._


	16. Chapter 16

Loki ran through the palace corridors, trailing his father and brother down toward the weapons vault. No amount of planning on his part could have guaranteed a result like this, though he didn't know whether to scream in frustration or rejoice in the turn of events.

Thor had been so close to his reward - to have it snatched away from him at the last moment must have been bitter indeed. Loki was thrilled at the thought, even if he was now being forced to adjust his own intentions accordingly. _There is still time enough to salvage the rest of my plans. The three of us will survey the damage, and then the first moment I can slip away, Sigyn and I can leave. Let the would-be king brood for awhile...alone. _

They turned a corner, and Odin slowed down to a swift walk, causing both Loki and Thor to nearly run into him.

"Father, why are you slowing?" asked Loki, unease slipping through into his voice. "The guards in the vault...shouldn't we fetch the healers for them?"

"They are beyond our help now," Odin replied, keeping his head forward. "I sense no survivors in the vault, Jotun or otherwise."

Sneaking a quick glance at his brother, Loki was unsurprised to see the rage building up in Thor's face. Though occasionally tactless, Thor had always held honor as a virtue more prized than anything else. A disrupted coronation was bad enough, but for Aesir to lose their lives? That was a grievous insult, one Loki knew Thor would be unable to forgive. Not without violent retribution - something Loki was increasingly desperate to avoid being party to. _I just need more time to work this out. _

At last they came to the doors of the vault, still sealed shut as though nothing had changed. Odin pushed them open and entered without hesitation, the confidence of his actions confirming there was no remaining threat awaiting them on the other side.

The atmosphere inside the vault was radically different from the outside, the air markedly colder, and the stench of death apparent even from a distance. Though the vault guards had died brutally, the Jotuns had fared much worse - their remains were barely more than ashes on the ground, the Destroyer having thoroughly lived up to its name. The massive sentinel was only just replacing itself into its sealed alcove as they entered, its work having been completed mere moments before their arrival.

The three men descended the stairs to the main passageway through the vault. Loki glanced down at the dead Aesir guards as they passed, their corpses still frozen from the touch of the Jotuns. _It's regrettable it had to come to this_, he thought; he had hoped the Destroyer would be able to do its work quickly enough to allow the vault guards to survive. _They will be celebrated as heroes_, _dying valiantly in their service to Asgard. A warrior's death. _He just hoped Sigyn would never figure out his part in their demise.

He doubted she would, thinking that perhaps it was fortunate the invasion had happened during the coronation after all. No one - least of all Sigyn - would think to suspect him of any wrongdoing with thousands of witnesses to his whereabouts at the time of the attack.

His father and brother were arguing about the best course of action, neither of them acknowledging his continued presence. It was as though he was invisible to them, his calm demeanor unable to compete with their rising voices and tempers. Just as it had always been. As it would always be.

It wasn't completely unwelcome, as it gave Loki a chance to observe and absorb, filing away information that would be useful later. Thor suggested that their father take a host of Asgardians and march into Jotunheim - _teach them a lesson!_ - while Odin was instead recommending patience, rightfully pointing out how unsuccessful the small party of Jotuns had been in their quest.

Thor would hear none of it. "As King of Asgard-"

"But you're _not_ King!" bellowed Odin. "Not yet." He stared his oldest son down, his gaze none the weaker for having only a single eye.

Thor just stood there, as silent as if he had been slapped. Satisfied that he had made his point, Odin brushed past him, retreating back up the stairs and out of the room.

The quiet in his absence became oppressive, prompting Loki to attempt to break it. "Thor-"

"I will find those responsible for this transgression, brother," said Thor, staring off into the distance, his teeth grinding in fury. "They will rue the day they made me the laughing-stock of the Nine Realms." Not even sparing Loki a glance, he left the vault, following their father's footsteps.

* * *

Sigyn stepped back from Sif, the dispersing crowd around her suddenly too thick and much too close.

"Sigyn, are you alright? Where are you going?" Sif's voice sounded very far away.

"I have to...I need to find..." Sigyn began, unable to finish. She stumbled through the suffocating sea of bodies, feeling faint and trying her best to keep breathing. She was desperate for them to clear away so she could find her way to the weapons vault. It was all she could do to not scream at them - _Move!_

Having no idea which way to go, she decided to follow the direction she had seen Loki run off with his father and brother. She fought the crowd, pushing and shoving her way through until she saw her opening. Just before she reached it, she felt a strong hand on her shoulder.

"Sigyn, stop!"

She turned to the voice, comforting and familiar, and had to choke back a sob.

"Edmund? Why...how are you-" She threw her arms around his neck, burying her head into his chest with relief. She honestly didn't care how, she was just happy her brother was safe...safe and _alive_.

"It was a last minute change this morning. My presence was requested here at the coronation instead of in the weapons vault." His strong hands patted her back as Sigyn wept into his chest.

She raised her head up to him, her face wet with tears. "Who requested you here?" _Whoever it was, you owe him your life._

"I don't know. I was only told not even an hour ago. Another guard came in to replace me, and told me to come here."

"Who was it? Who replaced you?"

Edmund opened his mouth to respond, but a scream stopped him before he could get a word out.

Sigyn scanned the crowd for the source of the wail, at first fearful that she would see Frost Giants storming through the people, laying waste to them as they passed. Instead, she saw a young woman collapsing into the arms of an older man, her face a tear-stained mask of despair. Sigyn quickly realized it hadn't been a scream of terror she'd heard, but one of grief.

She had never been introduced to the young woman, but Sigyn had seen her from a distance enough to recognize the blonde hair immediately. _He said her name was Mábil._

Edmund's voice was grave. "The guard who replaced me - that's his fiancée. You might remember him. Völund Ericson? I think he fancied _you_ once."

_Oh, I remember him. All too clearly._ Sigyn's hand flew to her stomach in a useless effort to staunch the nausea gathering there. "Do you think...do you think he could have survived?"

Edmund looked down at her, his expression a strange combination of sadness and relief. "I doubt it. If I hadn't been switched to coronation duty today" he said, nodding toward the distraught girl, "that could be Ingrid right now." He shook his head, turning back to Sigyn. "Now come. Ingrid is safe in the kitchens, but we need to get you somewhere secure until we know the threat has passed."

"And what about you?"

"I need to return to the guard station and await further instructions." A look of horror passed over her face, and he continued before she could object. "Sigyn, it's what I've been trained for. It's my duty to keep Asgard safe."

"And who will keep _you_ safe?" asked Sigyn under her breath, watching as Mábil was escorted from the throne room, her cries still echoing throughout the hall.

* * *

Loki gave Thor a little time, hoping his brother would calm a bit before he approached him again.

He started toward the throne room. He'd had no chance to ensure Sigyn's safety before rushing off to the weapons vault, and he wanted to make sure she was out of harm's way. He passed a group of Royal Guards going the other direction, including one he recognized. He pulled Edmund aside as they went past.

"Your sister-"

"She is safe, Your Highness," he replied, anxiously glancing over Loki's shoulder at the other guards as they retreated. "In your chambers. Did you need me?" Edmund's body was nearly vibrating with the need to join his brethren.

"No, go on," said Loki, waving him away. He knew it had been an age since the Royal Guards had needed to do much more than just stand around and look imposing. He wouldn't keep them from what little excitement the day's events had managed to generate.

"Thank you, Your Highness," said Edmund, hurrying off down the corridor.

Loki watched him for a moment. Of course, Edmund had plenty of reason to be thankful right now, especially to Loki - though he would never be able to know.

Loki had felt compelled that morning to go and check the weapons vault once more, to ensure that everything was in place for the Jotuns' arrival. He had hidden himself from view, sneaking up to the vault unseen, but his surprise at finding Edmund there had been nearly enough to make him lose control of his magic and reveal himself.

He vaguely remembered Sigyn telling him that Edmund had received a promotion when she told him about her brother's engagement. She hadn't been specific, likely not wanting to bother Loki with the details, and he hadn't given it another thought. Not until he'd found him guarding the vault that morning.

Removing Edmund from danger had become paramount. He'd still hoped the vault guards would survive the attack, but he wasn't about to take the chance that his beloved's only sibling might be critically injured, or even worse, killed. He knew Sigyn might not survive a loss like that. And if she ever found out about his own involvement? He shuddered at the thought.

A suitable replacement for the vault had been crucial, and fortunately for Edmund, Loki had known exactly who he would install in his place. He had conjured a quick missive directly into the basket of a palace page, the orders on the outside of the envelope directing that it be delivered to Edmund's superior officer within the hour. There was of course no signature on the note, but Loki knew the royal insignia at the top would be enough to ensure its instructions be carried out without question.

And they had been - to the letter. Sigyn's former lover had lost his life, but Loki felt it a small price to pay for saving her brother. _He_ certainly wouldn't be grieving over Völund's death, and he didn't suspect Sigyn would either.

Loki continued down the corridor toward the throne room, hoping Thor had returned there after leaving the vault. He was surprised to find it empty, but the sound of a massive table being overturned in the nearby banquet hall - accompanied by a nearly animalistic roar - gave Thor's location away easily.

He entered the banquet hall from a side door, coming around an immense pillar to find Thor sulking on the stairs. Loki took in the sight of the upturned table and scattered food, glad that Sigyn wasn't there to see her hard work ruined.

Thor sensed his presence even before he came into his view. "It is unwise to be in my company right now, brother."

"And who said I was wise?" asked Loki, settling in next to him on the stairs. The fury radiating from Thor was nearly tangible. He knew he needed to settle the situation if he was to have any chance of escaping with Sigyn, but as enraged as Thor was, Loki was afraid it might prove to be an insurmountable task. He turned to the one tactic he was sure would calm him: soothing Thor's enormous ego.

The Warriors Three and Sif burst into the room at that exact moment, all of them looking primed for a fight. Loki leaned in closely to Thor, his voice barely above a whisper.

"If it's any consolation, I think you're right. About the Frost Giants, about Laufey...about everything." The change in Thor's expression would have been missed by anyone who didn't know him well, but Loki could tell he'd hit a nerve. "If they found a way to penetrate Asgard's defenses once, who's to say they won't try again - next time with an army?"

"Exactly!"

"But there's nothing you can do without defying Father..." Loki meant for the words to settle his brother once and for all, but an all too familiar look passed over Thor's face, and he regretted saying it immediately. "No, no no no no - I know that look-"

"It's the only way to ensure the safety of our borders!"

"Thor, it's madness."

This got Volstagg's attention, even as he helped himself to some of the surviving food from a nearby table. "Madness? What sort of madness?"

"We're going to Jotunheim," said Thor, rising from his place on the stairs, a smirk on his face. His tone held an air of finality, but it didn't stop the others from arguing with him, trying to convince him of the foolishness of such an action.

Loki remained silent, his mind racing. It was unsettling how rapidly the entire situation was spinning out of his control. Had the Jotuns arrived even an hour later, he would have been gone. Even now, the marriage rites would have been performed and he and his new bride would have been halfway to their final destination - a hideaway near an Asgardian beach that no one other than Loki even knew existed. Instead, he was being forced to try and remain calm, even as his plans crumbled around him.

_There is still yet time_. _Father will catch wind of this and stop us before we can even step foot on the Bifröst, _he thought, even as Thor finally convinced his friends to ready for a journey to Jotunheim. _He __**must**__._

* * *

Sigyn briefly considered many places to wait before deciding to go to Loki's chambers.

Edmund had been unhappy with her choice, trying his best to convince her to wait with Ingrid in the kitchens, or better yet, at their apartment. Sigyn refused, knowing that Loki's chambers were as safe a place as any in Asgard, perhaps even more so, and the first place she knew Loki would eventually come looking for her. In compromise, she hadn't complained when Edmund insisted on setting two Royal Guards at the door until Loki's return. She knew they would have no chance against any Jotuns trying to get in, but if it made her brother feel better then she was happy to have them there.

She paced the floor as she waited, stopping occasionally to check her packed bags or peek out into the corridor, hoping to see Loki approaching. Eventually, she grew tired and changed out of her coronation gown, curling up onto the bed and wrapping herself in the furs covering it. Even under the covers, it was becoming difficult to stave off a coldness she knew had more to do with fear than the temperature of the room. _What a disastrous day_.

She lay in the bed, her mind restless, wondering what this would do to her planned trip with Loki and then chastising herself for being so selfish. Men had lost their lives. Völund was _dead_, and all she could think about was how happy she was it was him and not Edmund. She felt sympathy for the poor guard's fiancée, but Sigyn hadn't loved Völund. Not the way she loved her brother. Certainly not the way she loved Loki.

Some time later she was startled by the sound of hurried footsteps crossing the room, surprised to find that she had fallen asleep. The stress of the day's events must have made her more fatigued than she had realized.

Sitting up, she rubbed at her eyes. "Loki?"

He was at his wardrobe, rifling through its contents, when he turned to the sound of her voice. He was holding an overcoat she had never seen him wear before. "You need to stay in here for now. The guards outside will protect you."

"Protect me from what? Are we still under attack?" He was obviously preparing to go somewhere, but not with her.

"We're safe for now, and I'm hoping to keep it that way."

She rose from the bed, crossing the room to him. "Where are you going?"

"Sigyn, Thor is beyond reason at this turn of events," he said, throwing the overcoat over the nearest chair and moving to his dressing table. He opened the bottom drawer, pulling out a pair of gloves before turning back to her. "He is determined to do something foolish. I _must_ try and work out a peaceful solution to this mess."

She looked closely at the gloves he held in his hand. They were made for cold weather, and her heart fell. "You don't mean...you don't mean to travel to Jotunheim." She searched his face, hoping he would deny what was quickly becoming all too clear. "Do you?"

He just stared back at her, eyes sad but resolute. "We won't be gone long. When I ret-"

"No! No, you can't go!" She ran to him, throwing her arms around him as if her willpower alone was enough to keep him in place. "You can't possibly reason with those vile creatures! Please...please, stay here with me." She couldn't get the vision of a sobbing Mábil out of her head, and the fear that she could be in the same situation made the nausea she had been fighting all day return with a vengeance. It was nearly enough to make her retch.

Loki pulled her in close. "Sigyn, I need you to listen to me. If I don't go with Thor, and something happens to him...I would never be able to forgive myself."

She raised her eyes to him, shaking her head in denial. "And if something happens to you? What would become of me then?"

Loki traced his thumb across her cheek, a gesture meant to comfort, but it only increased Sigyn's anxiety. She clutched his hand to her face, squeezing her eyes shut to focus on the warmth of his skin. _If he leaves, I may never feel his touch again. _

"I will return to you, Sigyn, I swear it. And when I do, be ready to leave, just as we intended. I'll not let this attack ruin what I had planned for us."

She sighed, finally resigned to the fact that he was determined to go no matter what she said or did. "If you swear it, then I guess I have no choice but to trust you."

He leaned in, kissing her gently - almost reverently - before pulling away. "I must go. Thor wanted to leave as quickly as possible." He was halfway to the door before Sigyn called after him.

"Wait!"

She rushed to the dressing table and pulled open a drawer, retrieving a small pair of scissors and two hair ribbons. As quickly as possible, she plaited a small lock of hair at the nape of her neck, tying it off at both ends with the ribbons before snipping it clear of her head.

She ran back to Loki's side, holding the hair out to him like a prize. "Take this with you, for luck. To bring you back to me."

He took the braid from her outstretched hand, twirling it between his fingers. As she watched, the strands became more and more translucent, until finally they disappeared entirely.

"Where did it go?" she asked, running her fingers over the palm of his now empty hand.

"Somewhere safe," he said, pulling her in for one last embrace. "Remember, be ready to leave upon my return."

She only nodded at him, rooted to the spot as he turned to leave. Her hand lingered on his arm until he was out of reach, dropping to her side limply as he pulled the door open and stepped through. He glanced back once more before shutting the door behind him.

"I love you," she said belatedly, and the only response from the now-empty room was silence.


	17. Chapter 17

___"Things are not always, things are not always, how they seem…they don't turn out always, don't quite turn out always, how we think. Will we be ready?" - Imogen Heap, 2-1_

* * *

_He's not coming._

Not until the six of them were assembled in the courtyard did Loki begin to lose hope his father would get word of their plans in time to stop them from leaving. Every moment that passed was a moment they were closer to actually reaching the Observatory and making it all the way to Jotunheim.

Loki's diplomacy skills were unparalleled, but he had serious doubts about how effective he would be in dealing with the jotuns this time around. He'd had a simpler time of it disguised as a dark elf, but that had been with lower-ranking jotuns, not the king himself. Loki wasn't sure Laufey would be nearly as open to negotiations while dealing with a prince of Asgard - especially one who was acting on behalf of his warmongering brother.

As the rest of his group packed up their weapons, Loki strode over to the closest Royal Guard as nonchalantly as he could manage.

"I need you to listen to me carefully, do you understand?" He kept a smile on his face, hoping that if Thor happened to glance over he wouldn't get suspicious.

Satisfied he had the guard's attention, Loki continued. "The moment our horses are moving faster than a walk, you are to go straight to the Allfather and tell him we have left for Jotunheim."

The sentinel looked at him with wide eyes, the click in his throat as he swallowed the only sign of any apprehension in his otherwise placid features.

Loki's grin expanded ever so slightly, and the guard recoiled the tiniest bit. "The very life of your future king depends on your quick action. Have I made myself _perfectly_ clear?"

"Yes, Your Highness," said the guard, nodding curtly.

"Excellent."

Loki turned on his heels and rejoined his friends, swinging up onto his horse just as the others were settling into their own saddles. Thor smiled over at him, his excitement at the prospect of battle and bloodshed etched all over his face. Loki just smiled back, trying his best to conceal his irritation and frustration at the continued delay of his plans.

"Come, my friends," said Thor, turning to the group. "Let us show these jotun monsters what a grievous mistake they have made. Let them know the strength of Asgard has not dimmed - that with their actions, they have called down the wrath of the finest warriors in the Nine Realms!" He turned his horse, not even waiting for an answer before spurring his steed down the Bifröst.

When they reached the Observatory, Heimdall was waiting for them on the bridge itself, already aware of where they wished to go and why. Tasked with protecting the borders of Asgard, the guard was more than a little rattled by the breach in security; he allowed them to pass almost without question.

They took their places in the front of the room, heeding Heimdall's warning that they would be left to die on Jotunheim if their return threatened the safety of Asgard.

"I have no plans to die today," said Thor, his confidence never wavering.

"None do," replied Heimdall, his resonant voice echoing through the chamber as he activated the structure.

The white branches of Yggdrasil lit up the room, brighter than the lightning from Mjölnir, and Loki could feel the pull from his center as he was thrust forward, hurtling through the void toward the wastes of Jotunheim.

* * *

Sigyn sat in one of the window seats in Loki's chambers, looking out at the Bifröst and beyond to the Observatory in the distance. With a heavy heart, she watched as the structure lit up, signaling Loki's departure. She remained in the window for some time, hoping to see a sign of his return, before retreating back into the room, once again pacing back and forth so persistently she was sure she was wearing a path into the floor.

She was sick with worry, her anxiety verging on outright panic. She had to get some fresh air.

Opening the door to the chambers, she was stopped by the guards at the door before she even crossed the threshold.

"Apologies, my lady," said the guard on the right. "His Highness insisted that you remain here until his return."

"Please, I'll go mad if I stay in here a moment longer."

"I'm sorry, but His Highness was quite clear about what would happen if we failed to keep you safe."

The look on the poor man's face told Sigyn everything she needed to know about how unpleasant Loki's threats must have been. She decided to try a different approach.

"I haven't seen my mother since before the attack...I need to make sure she's safe. You can accompany me yourself if you're worried."

The guard just shook his head and refused to move. Sigyn knew she was defeated; the guards were much too large for her to push around them, and they evidently didn't care if _she_ was happy with the situation as long as they continued to obey Loki's orders.

She squeezed her eyes shut, breathing deeply to keep her composure. "Well then, is there any way you can send someone to bring me word of her? Just to ease my mind?"

"Of course, my lady."

Sigyn told the guard where her mother lived, hoping Dagmar had chosen to return home after the ruined coronation. If not, there were any number of places she could be, and Sigyn wasn't about to test the guard's patience by listing them all.

The guard agreed to do what he could before turning to his companion. Just before the door latched shut, Sigyn could hear him reminding the other man that under no circumstances was she to leave the room.

She walked to the sofa in front of the fire and curled up on it, confused by the mixed signals Loki was sending. In recent days he had been so detached; to the point that she had been sure he was trying to distance himself from her. And yet, he had surprised her by planning time away for the two of them together.

Furthermore, he could have dismissed the guards Edmund had placed at the door, yet he had tasked them with her safety alone...with the additional threat of punishment if they failed. Those were not the actions of someone who felt merely indifferent toward her.

She had sworn to herself that she would never pressure him into making his intentions for their future clear, but it could no longer be avoided. Nearly losing Edmund had been a sobering reminder that death could take any of them, prince or not. When Loki came back - and she refused to think he wouldn't - she would just have to ask him where she stood with him.

And if his answer was not what she wanted to hear? As much as it would break her heart, it was better to know for certain and move on with her life than to waste another day wishing for something she would never have.

* * *

While the many centuries of traversing the realms via the Bifröst had certainly improved Loki's tolerance for the journey, the landings were still physically jarring. He'd needed to become quite skilled at hiding any discomfort. Proving himself strong and capable was a struggle he had long ago grown weary of fighting; he wasn't about to give his brother or his friends any reason to think him weak.

They had landed directly on the outskirts of what remained of the power center of Jotunheim; the impact from their arrival would have been impossible to miss. It also didn't help that Thor's red cape flared around him like a beacon to any jotuns who may be waiting to ambush them. With nothing but snow and ice stretching out around them, they were terribly exposed.

"We shouldn't be here," said Hogun, and Loki couldn't have agreed more. What was taking his father so long? Surely that guard had delivered his message by now.

Their group made their way toward what appeared to be the ruins of a citadel, the creaking and crashing of falling ice only adding to the tension. Loki kept his eyes moving, constantly scanning for any kind of movement, but there was nothing.

"Where are they?" asked Sif, unease clear in her voice.

"Hiding," said Thor. "These cowards always do."

A few more steps and a new voice rang out.

"You've come a long way to die, _Asgardians_."

While helping plan the attack on Asgard, Loki had never dealt with their king directly, but there was no mistaking this particular giant for anyone other than Laufey. He sat upon what remained of his throne, looking down on all of them with scorn - and if Loki were to be entirely honest - more than a little sadness. These were a broken people, robbed of their power. That had made using them for his own purposes easy, but even Loki could admit their failure to retrieve the Casket would likely have pushed their desperation to dangerous levels. Caution was essential; one misstep and they would all be dead before Odin could even reach the Observatory.

"I am Thor Odinson-"

"We know who you are."

"How did your people get into Asgard?"

The silence stretched out before them, and for a moment Loki thought Laufey wasn't going to answer. When he finally spoke, his words sent a stab of panic through Loki's heart.

"The house of Odin...is _full_ of traitors."

_He can't possibly know. I was so careful... _Every move he had made over the past months ran through Loki's head in an unbroken stream, but he tried his best to look unbothered.

"Do not dishonor my father's name with your lies!" yelled Thor. He raised Mjölnir slightly higher, his thirst for revenge getting the better of him.

From there, the discussion between the two of them began devolving into threats and insults. Frost giants began to appear all around them, encircling their group and blocking any way out. Loki had had enough.

He rushed to Thor's side, leaning in so he could speak to him under his breath. "Thor, stop and think. Look around you, we're outnumbered-"

"Know your place, brother."

Any other time, such a dismissal on Thor's part would have angered him, but at that moment all Loki could think about was getting them out of a situation that was fast becoming untenable.

"You know not what your actions would unleash," said Laufey. "I do. Go now...while I still allow it." As he spoke, another giant stepped forward, this one larger than most of the others, and glared down at them.

This time, Loki didn't even wait for Thor to get in another word, speaking up himself instead. "We will accept your most _gracious_ offer." In the corner of his vision, he could see Thor's incredulous look, but he forced himself not to meet his brother's eyes. They could have words later, once they were safe. He turned away, walking slowly back toward the others. "Come on, brother."

Thor paused for a moment, practically growling with frustration before turning to follow Loki. The Warriors Three and Sif started to turn back as well, visibly relieved.

It truly looked as though they were going to be allowed to leave unharmed, when the giant behind Thor spoke up. "Run back home, little _princess_."

Loki froze. "Damn."

He barely had time to turn and react before Thor beat him to it, swinging Mjölnir up and hitting the giant square in the face. He hurtled back against the far wall, crumpling to the ground.

"Next?"

With that, everything exploded into chaos, giants rushing toward them from every direction. Loki could barely keep track of everyone in the disorder, occupied as he was with keeping himself safe. Once, he heard Volstagg cry out - _Don't let them touch you!_ - and Loki was able to catch him in the crowd just long enough to see the warrior grasping his arm in pain, the skin turning black from the jotuns' icy touch. If they didn't escape soon, a little frostbite would be the least of their problems.

Loki continued to summon knives as quickly as he could, throwing them with astonishing precision and felling one giant after another. It had been so long since he had fought anything other than decoys or his brother; he was surprised at how much he had missed it.

He was continuously looking for a way out when he saw a particularly large giant approaching Thor - who was too busy grappling with three other jotuns to even notice the fourth. Loki was too close to throw his knives with any sort of accuracy, so instead he conjured them into his hands and rushed the jotun, the give of the giant's flesh beneath his knife providing a heady rush.

He had hoped to be able to stumble back and out of the jotun's reach once the knife found its mark, but the ice under his feet was just slippery enough to prevent him from doing so. As a result, the giant's hand lashed out as he fell to his knees, grabbing Loki's forearm in his throes of pain.

No amount of struggling on Loki's part could wrench his arm from the jotun's grip, and he could only watch helplessly as the protection of his glove and armor broke away, the freezing touch of the giant enough to shatter the leather and metal. It happened quickly, his face already forming a grimace, momentarily forgetting his other knife as he waited for the pain to start.

But the pain never came. What happened was so much _worse_.

He could feel something radiating outward from _inside_ his arm, and even in his shock Loki recognized the loosening of a spell - _but that can't be right, there IS no spell, what is he DOING TO ME_ - and when he looked down again, he stiffened in shock.

His arm was blue - as blue as the Asgardian sky, as blue as Sigyn's eyes, and as blue as the giant who still gripped him tightly, watching with a strange sort of fascination as Loki's arm became an exact mirror of his own. The jotun raised his eyes to Loki's, and Loki could see the realization dawning on him that this was no trick, that this tiny Asgardian was just as surprised as he was at this turn of events, and in that moment Loki wanted nothing more than to erase him from existence.

The knife in his free hand was a solid comfort, and as he thrust it forward and into the monster's chest, the satisfaction he felt was nearly overwhelming. It was short-lived however, as he lifted his freed arm up for inspection and watched as the color and markings faded and his arm reverted to its typical appearance - the sensation of a spell being put into place as it did so at once intimately familiar and utterly foreign.

A cry of pain jolted him back to the situation around him, and he spun around to find Fandral's chest impaled upon a sharp spear of ice jutting up from the ground. Another jotun was running toward the wounded man, intending to finish him off in his trapped state, but Loki was able to fire off a well-placed knife, killing the giant before he got too close. Volstagg and Hogun rushed to Fandral's side, prying him off the ice. _Any lower, and he would have been dead on the spot, _thought Loki._ This farce has gone on long enough._

"We _must_ go!" he yelled, hoping to catch Thor's attention.

His brother acknowledged his words - _Then go!_ - but made no move to retreat from the fight, Mjolnir flying through the air, knocking one jotun after another down in its path before being called back to Thor's waiting hand.

Loki made a mental note that if they survived - and he was getting nearer and nearer to panic that they wouldn't - he was going to kill Thor himself for so stupidly risking all of their lives.

No sooner had the notion crossed his mind than the ground shook, and he had to fight to stay upright. He watched in horror as the ice beneath his feet began to crack, and what he had previously mistaken for merely a statue of a hideous beast shook off the thick layer of ice covering its body. It was immense, with a mouth full of sharp teeth and crimson eyes shining bright and wild from its face.

Instinct took over, his need for survival above all else pushing him to _move move MOVE_, and he was running flat out back the way they had come, the Warriors Three and Sif by his side - and Thor behind, still doggedly fighting every jotun within sight.

"Thor!" he yelled once more over his shoulder, and any answer his brother may have given was drowned out by the roar of the beast as it clawed its way free of the last of the ice pinning it in place.

Putting his head down and spurring his feet to move faster, Loki pushed himself as hard as he could, the crunch of the beast as it closed the distance ringing in his ears.

* * *

Sigyn was expecting the guard to take a while to find word of her mother, and so she was surprised when a knock came on the door not even twenty minutes after he had left. She jumped from her seat, hurrying back across the room.

She had barely opened the door when her mother burst through, nearly suffocating Sigyn in a strong embrace.

"Sigyn! I was so worried about you!"

Sigyn looked over her mother's shoulder at the returned guard, who looked completely nonplussed. "How did you find her so quickly?"

"She was actually wandering the halls looking for you-"

"And he was absolutely no help!" said Dagmar, shooting the guard a hateful look before turning back to Sigyn. "He insisted you were fine, but I wouldn't rest until I saw for myself. I had to find Edmund to vouch for me before _this_ one would bring me to you."

"And as you can see, he was telling the truth," she said, nodding her thanks to the guard before ushering her mother into the room. "Why don't you come in and keep me company for a while."

"That would be lovely, dear." Dagmar took in the room, not even trying to hide her awe of the surroundings. "So, this is where you spend so much of your time," she said, looking directly at the bed as she spoke.

"Well, yes," said Sigyn, rolling her eyes while her mother wasn't looking. "Among other places."

"Oh, of course," said Dagmar, and by the tone of her voice Sigyn knew her answer had been interpreted to mean that she and Loki spent the entirety of their time finding new and unusual places to defile one another. She started to clarify, before deciding the embarrassment wasn't worth the effort. Let her mother think whatever she wanted.

"And where is His Highness?" asked Dagmar, as they settled on the sofa. "I would have thought to find him here with you."

Loki hadn't explicitly told her to keep his whereabouts secret, but Sigyn instinctively knew her mother was the _last_ person who needed to know of his trip to Jotunheim with Thor and the others. She chose to remain as vague as possible.

"He's with his brother, looking into some information about the attack today."

"Oh, I do hope they are able to find those responsible. That was an awful business with those guards," said Dagmar, even as her gaze continued to sweep through the room. "To think it could have been Edmund."

"I'm sure their families are devastated," said Sigyn. She had seen Mabil's sorrow firsthand, but she also wondered about the second guard in the vault. Had he been married? Did he have children to mourn him the way she mourned her own father? When this was all over, she would make it a point to find out and reach out to them, to offer her condolences. Not only did she feel it necessary, but it would have the added benefit of proving to Loki that she had the proper skills for diplomacy - and if it came to it, the poise required to represent Asgard as a member of the royal family.

She felt her mother's hand on her cheek, pulling her from her thoughts. "Are you feeling well, darling? You look ill."

It took every ounce of Sigyn's self-control to not scream at her mother - _My brother was nearly killed today, and now the man I wish to spend my life with has travelled to the least friendly of the Nine Realms to face almost certain death. What could possibly be wrong with me?_ - but she held her tongue. As cynical as she could be toward her mother's intentions, even Sigyn had to admit she looked genuinely concerned.

"I - I'll be fine, Mother. It's just...it's been a trying day for everyone." Her stomach clenched as she spoke; she couldn't remember when she had last eaten something. As worried as she was, she wasn't sure she would be able to keep anything down, but it couldn't hurt to try. "Some food would probably help, but the guards won't let me leave this room."

"Why not?"

"Loki's orders. I've already tried to leave once, but they won't budge. Not until he returns."

"Well, keeping you safe won't do much good if you starve to death," said Dagmar, rising from the sofa. "I'll go find Ingrid and have her bring you something to eat."

"Thank you, Mother," said Sigyn. Even if her mother had no authority in the palace, Sigyn had no doubts that Dagmar would be able to coerce something out of the kitchen staff if she needed to; she was nothing if not tenacious.

"Of course, darling," said Dagmar, turning back to look at Sigyn once more, her eyes full of an emotion Sigyn couldn't quite place. "I only want what's best for you, you know."

"I know, Mother." It was a strange thing to say, out of place in the events of the day, and her tone was such that Sigyn was momentarily left puzzled. But before she could say another word, her mother had already opened the door and was gone.

* * *

Loki focused on putting one foot in front of the other, blocking out all distractions as he and the others ran back to their landing spot, trying desperately to avoid being caught by the pursuing beast. He just hoped that the multiple targets would keep the creature confused just enough for all of them to escape.

He glanced over his shoulder just once, in time to see the sky light up with a flare of lightning. That could only be Thor's doing, and Loki had a momentary flash of relief before the ground began to shake beneath his feet once again.

A wave of ice and snow began to radiate out from where they had left Thor, cracks in the ground spreading out like a web. The five of them were just light enough that they could continue to keep their feet, but the beast behind them was much too heavy. A massive hole began to open up between it and their group and it began to slip through. It swung its barbed tail around, trying to grasp for purchase in the ice and barely missing Sif in the process, before it fell through completely.

None of them even slowed down, continuing to run as fast as they could. Loki could hear Fandral chuckling at the beast's demise as he was carried over Volstagg's back. _We're not safe yet, you idiot, _thought Loki._ Save your mirth for when we're back in Asgard._

Finally, they reached the spot where the Bifröst had opened up, right on the edge of a massive cliff. "Heimdall, open the bridge!" yelled Volstagg, yet nothing happened. Loki knew they were in the right place, thinking perhaps Heimdall was waiting for Thor to rejoin them, when a giant hand came up from the edge of the cliff and buried its claws in the ground directly in front of them.

Somehow the beast had managed to not only survive its fall, but arrive ahead of them at the landing spot. It hoisted its mass up and over the cliff, and for the first time Loki felt truly afraid. There was no way to escape; the way behind them was blocked by pursuing jotuns and the beast in front of them was much too large for them to take on, especially with Fandral so critically injured.

One last thought went through Loki's mind - _Sigyn, I love you, I'm so sorry_ - and the beast opened its maw wide in a thunderous roar.

A blur flashed overhead, and just before it could snatch one of them up in its jaws it instead collapsed to the ground. Loki could see the massive hole in its head, and as it slipped completely over the edge, Thor came down, landing hard between their group and the edge of the cliff.

He stood up and turned to the group, looking entirely too pleased with himself for the mess they were in. His grin faded quickly however, when he realized they were not yet out of danger.

Hundreds of jotuns - led by Laufey himself - had caught up to them despite the destruction left in Thor's wake. This was their home, their _element_, and no matter how hard the Asgardians fought, Loki knew they were at a severe disadvantage.

As one, they advanced on their group, and Loki steeled himself, hoping that if he had to die he would at least have the strength to take a few more jotuns with him. But before they could get close enough, the sky split open, the Bifröst opening at last.

Instead of pulling them up and back to Asgard, however, the bridge was delivering their salvation. Odin landed where the beast had been mere moments before, his steed Sleipnir rearing up into the air and Gungnir flashing in the light. He looked every bit the majestic ruler of the Nine Realms he still was, and the jotuns stopped in their tracks at the sight of him.

"Father! We'll finish them together!" yelled Thor, the certainty of victory clear in his voice.

"_Silence_."

A single word from Odin, hissed through his teeth and colder than the wastes of Jotunheim itself, and even though it was directed at Thor, Loki felt like a small child once again.

Whatever was coming next, Loki couldn't help but wonder if death would have been easier after all.


	18. Chapter 18

Thor's shoulders slumped at their father's admonition, his hammer lowering in defeat. Any other time it would have amused Loki to see his brother so chastened, but the look on Odin's face promised severe punishment – for all of them.

Laufey summoned ice beneath his feet, raising himself up to meet Odin face to face.

"Allfather…you look weary."

It was meant as an insult, but Loki was shocked to see just how true the words were. Odin looked exhausted and out of breath, almost frail. How long had it been since he had rested?

"Laufey, end this now."

"Your boy sought this out," the jotun replied, looking at Odin with undisguised scorn. It was clear he didn't care who the perpetrator was – all of Asgard would all be blamed equally for what had happened.

"You're right. These are the actions of a boy; treat them as such. You and I can end this now, right here, before there is further bloodshed."

Thor never took his eyes off his father. Standing just behind him, Loki could see his body trembling with pent up rage, his continued need for revenge at odds with his subservience to his father.

Laufey regarded Odin indignantly. "We are beyond diplomacy now, Allfather. He'll get what he came for - war…and _death_."

"So be it."

Laufey raised his hand to strike, a dagger of ice conjured in his palm, but before he could land a blow Odin raised Gungnir, a blast of power radiating from the end of the spear. It knocked the jotun king back just long enough for Heimdall to open the Bifröst once again, pulling their group up and away to the safety of Asgard.

The wind in the void was merciless, and Loki wondered idly how he could extricate himself from the situation once they landed, but before he could form any sort of decent plan they were once again in the Observatory. It already seemed a lifetime ago that they had been here, leaving for Jotunheim.

"Why did you bring us back?" yelled Thor. Unsurprisingly, even with death staring them in the face, he felt they had been winning.

"Do you realize what you've done? What you've started?"

"I was protecting my home-"

"You cannot even protect your _friends_ – how can you hope to protect the kingdom?!" Odin turned to Volstagg, who still held Fandral across his shoulder. "Get him to the healing room – now!"

The Warriors Three and Sif retreated at once, all too happy to leave the sons of Odin to his wrath. Loki knew better than to try and join them. Whatever his father's punishment, he would be required to face it alongside his brother.

He stood at the side of the room, silently watching as Odin continued to berate Thor, who was obstinately giving back as much as he was getting. Loki had waited ages for this, to see Thor torn down bit by bit – by their father, no less – but now that it was happening, it felt like a hollow victory. _It should never have taken this much to see he wasn't ready, Father. You have always been blinded in the glow of your favored son._

Thor had finally reached his breaking point, their father having insulted him one too many times – _a vain, greedy, cruel BOY_ – and roared back "You are an old man and a fool!"

The atmosphere in the room changed immediately, all of the fight and venom in Odin's words evaporating in the ensuing stillness. He looked down at the floor, and when he spoke again, it was nearly a whisper.

"Yes. I was a fool to think you were ready."

The change in the air was palpable, and Loki felt compelled to do something, anything. No matter how badly he wanted his brother's humiliation, he never intended it to go this far. He moved closer, speaking before he could even form a plan of what to say. "Father-"

Odin whirled on him, an unintelligible growl escaping his lips as he jabbed a finger his direction, silencing him before he could say another word. Loki stopped short, an overwhelming sense of self-preservation causing him to nearly trip over himself to shrink back, to be invisible once more.

His father turned back in Thor's direction, his jaw set in a hard line. "Thor Odinson. You have betrayed the express command of your king," he said, his voice cracking with a sadness Loki never imagined he would hear from him. "Through your arrogance and stupidity, you have opened these peaceful realms and innocent lives to the horror and desolation of _war_."

The last word was punctuated by the crash of Gungnir as Odin slammed it into the Observatory mechanism, the branches of Yggdrasil lighting up the room once more. Loki stared in stunned silence, barely able to comprehend what was happening. Odin descended the steps to Thor's side and began ripping Thor's armor apart, piece by piece, the metal sizzling under Odin's hand as he removed the magic keeping it in place.

"You are unworthy of these realms. You are unworthy of your _title! _You are _UNWORTHY_…of the loved ones you have betrayed."

Thor stared back at their father, his realization of just how dire his situation was finally settling into his features. Loki couldn't remember a time when Thor had looked so young and fragile – strong, confident, _mighty_ Thor – and he was shocked at how unsettled he was to witness it.

Odin looked Thor square in the eye, as though he was hoping to find regret in his face, but Thor just stared back, unable even in that moment to repent for his actions. With a sigh, Odin retreated back up the steps.

"I now take from you, your power!" he said, calling Mjölnir to his waiting hand. "In the name of my father, and his father before" – the remains of Thor's armor dissolved at his words – "I, Odin Allfather, CAST YOU OUT!"

A bolt of lightning from the end of Mjolnir, and Thor was thrown up and back, his limbs scrabbling for purchase as the Bifrost carried him away in a flash of light. Loki ran toward the opening, looking for a sign of his brother but taking care to stay far enough to the side to avoid being carried away as well. He caught movement just before Mjolnir whizzed past his head, disappearing into the void just behind his brother.

He stood rooted to the spot, his head buzzing in disbelief. Turning back to Odin, he watched as he removed Gungnir from the mechanism, the Observatory slowly coming to a complete stop. He wanted to speak, but he could barely draw breath.

"You sent the messenger to me. Why not come yourself, if you were so concerned?"

"There was no time, Father. I thought you would get word and arrive before-"

"I had hoped that as king, Thor's greatest asset would be you as his advisor," said Odin, his gaze fierce. "And yet, now I see I was mistaken in that as well. You cannot advise someone whose anger and retribution you fear."

Loki took in a sharp breath. "I don't _fear_-"

"You cannot hesitate to make difficult decisions, Loki. You were all nearly killed today – if that guard had arrived even a moment later…" He allowed his words to trail off with a shake of his head.

Loki swallowed thickly. "Where have you sent him, Father?"

"To Midgard, the one realm where he may have a _hope_ of survival without his powers." Odin descended the stairs once more, retreating toward the Observatory entrance.

Loki started to follow him, when a flash of a memory flitted through his mind. His arm, blue beneath the touch of the jotun. If anyone could explain what had happened, it was his father.

"Wait, Father, I need to know-"

"Not now," said Odin over his shoulder. "I need to think on what has happened…alone." He didn't even slow as he walked, brushing past Heimdall and mounting Sleipnir where he waited for him. He spurred the horse back down the Bifröst as quickly as he could, leaving Loki to return to the palace in uneasy solitude.

* * *

Sigyn sat in Loki's chambers, trying to ignore the oppressive silence and her rumbling stomach as she waited for her mother to return. It was taking much too long, and she had just about decided to try leaving the room once again when she caught the sound of hurried footsteps in the corridor. The door swung in, and her mother's face peeked around the edge. She was flushed and out of breath.

"Sigyn, come quickly! The servants in the kitchens were talking of someone being taken to the healing room earlier – and I thought I heard Prince Loki's name mentioned-"

"What?" Sigyn jumped from her seat. "How long ago?"

"I'm not sure, darling," she said, waving Sigyn toward the door. "Come now!"

Sigyn bolted across the room, only to be stopped once again by the guards at the door. She'd had enough, her frustration bubbling over into white hot rage.

"If Loki is injured and you're keeping me from him," she said, hissing through her teeth, "I will see to it the _only_ duty you have for the next ten_ years_ is to shovel out the royal stables. Now _move_!"

Dagmar gasped at her boldness, and the guards hesitated just long enough for her to slip past them and break into a run before they could stop her. They were larger than her, but their heavy armor put them at a severe disadvantage in a foot race. She left her mother behind as well, needing nothing more than to find Loki safe and uninjured.

* * *

Loki went directly to the healing room upon his arrival at the palace. Sigyn was safe in his chambers; he wanted to be sure Fandral's injuries had been cared for before he went to her. With Thor's banishment, the rest of Loki's plans were on hold indefinitely. He wasn't ready to face her disappointment, not yet.

He arrived just as the healer was leaving. Fandral was reclining on a couch amongst the others, his chest completely free of any injury. They all turned to Loki as he entered, but Sif was the first to speak.

"Loki! What happened after we left?" She looked past him to the door. "Where is Thor?"

He was shocked the news hadn't reached them yet. He took a deep breath. "Thor has been banished from the kingdom for his actions. Father stripped him of his powers and sent him to Midgard."

Sif's eyes grew wide. "Banished?"

"Yes. And we should all count ourselves lucky to have been spared the same fate."

Loki stood to the side, letting his announcement settle over the room like a heavy blanket. Volstagg finally broke the silence.

"We should never have let him go."

"There was no stopping him," said Sif.

"At least he's only banished and not dead – which is what _we'd_ all be if that guard hadn't told Odin where we'd gone," said Fandral. For once, he seemed to have the most sense of all of them.

Volstagg hissed as Hogun rubbed a salve onto his frostbitten arm. "How did the guard even know?"

Loki spoke up. "I told him."

Everyone turned to him in shock. "What?" asked Fandral.

"I told him to go to Odin after we'd left. He should be flogged for taking so long – we should _never_ have reached Jotunheim."

"_You_ told the guard?" asked Volstagg, incredulous.

"I saved our lives – _and _Thor's," said Loki. _You should all be grateful to me, and _still_ your only concern is Thor._ "I had no idea Father would _banish _him for what he did-"

"Loki," said Sif, jumping from her seat. "You _must_ go to the Allfather and convince him to change his mind-"

"And if I do, then what?" Loki knew he shouldn't have been surprised at the level of devotion they were showing to Thor, but it still angered him. "I love Thor more dearly than any of you, but you know what he is. He's arrogant, he's reckless, he's _dangerous_. You saw how he was today…is _that_ what Asgard needs from its king?"

He didn't wait for an answer, turning on his heels and storming off toward the door. He wasn't quite clear of the room when he heard Sif's voice, full of venom.

"He may speak of the good of Asgard, but he's _always_ been jealous of Thor."

The door shut behind him, cutting off whatever else the others may have said in response. He stood in the hallway, rubbing his temple and willing his anger to subside. _Fools, all of them._

He brought his left hand down from his head, staring at it as if seeing it for the first time. He turned it back and forth, tracing over it with his other hand, confused but unable to explain what had happened on Jotunheim. His father had been unwilling to listen to him – but perhaps he could get his answers elsewhere. He hesitated only a moment, suddenly desperate for Sigyn's warmth and comfort, but she would need to wait a bit longer. He turned the other direction, heading to the weapons vault instead.

* * *

Sigyn burst through the doors of the healing room, counting the heads quickly and coming up short by two.

"Loki?" she asked, looking around in confusion. "Is he alright?"

"You've just missed him," said Fandral. "I assumed he went to find you. To tell you what happened."

"What happened?" She clutched the neckline of her dress, out of breath and panicked, suddenly realizing who else was missing. "Thor…oh, no – has something happened to Thor?"

The men all looked to Sif where she stood, waiting for her to explain. "Thor has been banished to Midgard." She looked at Sigyn with a mixture of anger and pity. "Loki refuses to speak to the Allfather about it, to help bring him back."

"What? Why not?" Thor had nearly been crowned king just that morning, and now he'd been banished? It didn't make any sense.

"Who knows what motivates Loki to take action or not," said Sif, in a tone that implied she had an idea, but she wasn't about to share it with the woman Loki slept with every night. "Perhaps you can talk some sense into him."

"You give me far too much credit. I don't hold as much influence over him as you think."

"And you are being entirely too modest," said Sif. She approached Sigyn, who was shocked to see genuine sadness on the warrior's face. "Loki listens to you. Please, if you love him as I love Thor…then you must know I would do anything for his return."

Sigyn lowered her gaze, unable to face the fear and worry in Sif's eyes. "I…I will do what I can."

* * *

The vault had been carefully cleaned and restored; not a trace of the jotun attack remained. Everything looked deceptively normal. Loki could almost convince himself that nothing had changed, that Thor was happily settling into the throne instead of suffering alone and powerless on Midgard – but the image of his brother being stripped of his armor was still too fresh.

His father's words echoed in his mind. _You cannot hesitate to make difficult decisions, Loki. _With Thor gone, he was being given a chance to prove his value, to show everyone just how much they had underestimated his powers. But first, he needed answers.

He approached the Casket quickly. Reaching out to it, his arms felt heavy, a sense of dread filling his heart and spreading out into his entire body. His breath was too fast, his hands too shaky, but before he could completely lose his nerve, he grasped the handles on the ends.

At once, a preternatural calm settled over him, and he _knew_. The blue glow traveled up his fingers, and he could feel it in his arms, his torso, every covered and uncovered part of his body – lifting a burden he'd never known he was carrying. It was as if the Casket was an extension of himself, communicating with him in a language he shouldn't understand – _ice, cold, pain, power, power, POWER-_

"Stop!"

Odin's voice cut through the fog. He hadn't even heard him enter the vault.

"Am I cursed?" _Please, say yes. Lie if you must, but say yes. I can't bear the alternative._

"No."

"What am I?"

"You're my son," said Odin, as though that was answer enough.

"What more than that?" he asked, returning the Casket to its stand and feeling the prickle on his skin as the blue faded away. He turned to face the man he had been raised to love and fear in equal measures, the man whose approval he had fruitlessly sought above anyone else, the man he called father. Odin stood on the vault steps, and even as Loki approached him, the distance between them felt immeasurable.

"The Casket wasn't the only thing you took from Jotunheim that day, was it?"

"No." The word was barely audible, but with it, any remaining hope Loki held dissolved away. He stopped at the foot of the steps, waiting for Odin to continue.

"In the aftermath of the battle, I went into the temple…and I found a baby. Small, for a giant's offspring. Abandoned, suffering, left to die." A heavy sigh. "Laufey's son."

It took all of Loki's strength to remain standing on his suddenly weak legs. "_Laufey's_ son?"

"Yes."

"Why? You were knee-deep in jotun blood…_why_ would you take me?" _Leaving me to die would have been less cruel than this._

"You were an innocent child-"

"No…you took me for a purpose. What was it?"

Silence, immense and infuriating.

"_Tell me!_"

"I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day, bring about an alliance, bring about a permanent peace…through you."

"What?" _Born to be a king, you said. But not of Asgard._

"But those plans no longer matter-"

"So, I am no more than another stolen relic, locked up, here, until you might have use of me?"

"Why do you twist my words-"

"You could have told me what I was from the _beginning_! Why didn't you?"

"You're my son. I wanted only to protect you from the truth."

_Protect me from the truth?_ "What…that I-I'm the monster parents tell their children about at night?"

Rage, uncontrolled and overwhelming, rose up in Loki, and he could taste bile in the back of his throat. He advanced up the stairs, barely aware that Odin had fallen back and was reaching out to him with a single shaking hand.

"It all makes sense now – why you favored _Thor_ all these years! Because no matter how much you claimed to love _me_, you could never have a _Frost Giant_ sitting on the throne of Asgard."

Loki leaned over his father's limp body – _he's not your father, not really your father_ – the slow, deep breaths indicating he had fallen into Odinsleep.

They were totally alone in the vault, Odin completely at his mercy, and for one fleeting moment Loki imagined how easy it would be to smother him where he lay – _usurper, traitor, TYRANT_ – but before he could act, an image of his mother's face, devastated and grief stricken, stayed his hand. He grasped Odin's arm instead, calling for the guards outside the vault. They rushed in, gently lifting Odin up and carrying him away without a word, Loki trailing behind like a lost child.


	19. Chapter 19

_Lies, don't wanna know, don't wanna know, I can't let you go, can't let you go, I just want it to be perfect, to believe it's all been worth the fight…Lies, don't wanna know, don't wanna know …-_ Marina and the Diamonds, "Lies"

* * *

The golden aura surrounding Odin's bed was hypnotizing, the magic swirling and shifting into myriad patterns as it worked to protect and heal. Loki wanted to trace his fingers through it, to feel it course through his skin as he had as a child, but he stayed back. _You shouldn't be here. You are a blight on this family._

Frigga sat across from him, reaching through the aura to grasp Odin's hand in hers. Not _really_ his mother after all, but he couldn't bring himself to harbor any resentment toward her. Her love had never been less than unconditional; it was what had sustained him for so long in the shadow of his brother – until Sigyn came into his life. _Sigyn._ Her words from only hours before – _You can't possibly reason with those vile creatures!_ – rang sharp in his head. She would never accept him for what he truly was – nothing more than a jotun runt, raised to believe himself Aesir.

He had dreamed of a life with her, marrying her, happily watching her grow fat with as many babies as he could get on her – but those dreams were now gone, frozen forever on Jotunheim. It was ironic really – his powers of sorcery were unequaled, and yet the greatest illusion in his life was not one of his own making, but one that had been conjured upon him. He would have laughed, had it not been so painful.

Loki looked at Odin once more. "I never get used to seeing him like this."

"He's put it off for so long now, and I fear…" She left the rest unspoken.

"How long will it last?"

"I don't know. This time it's different. We were unprepared."

_Unprepared – much like me._ "So why did he lie?" asked Loki, tired of avoiding the topic. He hoped Odin could hear him, hear the anger and resentment in his voice.

"He kept the truth from you so you would never feel different," she said, the kindness in her eyes nearly more than Loki could bear. "You are our son, Loki, and we your family. You must know that."

_A choice you made _for_ me long ago._ "Thor? Does he know I'm jo-" He stopped, still unable to say it aloud. "Does he know we're not _truly_ brothers?"

"No. But family is more than blood, Loki. You will always be brothers; the truth will not break the bond you have together."

"How can you speak with such certainty?" Loki thought of Thor's actions on Jotunheim, the clear hatred he had for the jotuns – a hatred he himself shared. Loki could barely stomach the truth, and he was by far the more level headed of the two of them. For all he knew, Thor would as soon bash in Loki's head than acknowledge a jotun brother.

"I speak with the certainty of a mother who knows her sons."

He sighed. "What does it matter anyway if he is banished? If he never awakens," he said, nodding at Odin, "Thor may be lost to us forever."

"We mustn't lose hope that your father will return to us…and your brother."

"What hope is there for Thor?"

"There's always a purpose to everything your father does."

_But that doesn't always make him right_. He stood to leave, weary of the company. He needed to contemplate the new future that had been laid out for him, one he was going to face alone.

He loved Sigyn beyond reason, but she would never willingly choose to be with him once she knew the truth. The thought of her rejecting him for something beyond his control was more than he could stomach. No – he would never allow it to come to that. Better to retain some _shred_ of dignity while he still could.

He had just reached the end of Odin's bed when the bedchamber doors were thrown open, a contingent of guards lined up outside.

Loki's first thought was that they had discovered his part in everything and were ready to drag him away to face punishment for his misdeeds, but then the palace steward stepped forward, Gungnir in his hands. He stopped before Loki, kneeling to the ground and holding the spear out before him like an offering.

Unsure of what to do, Loki looked to his mother.

"Thor is banished," she said. "The line of succession falls to you. Until Odin awakens…Asgard is yours."

Slowly, Loki turned back to the steward, reaching out to take Gungnir in his hands. He had always imagined it to be quite heavy, holding the weight of the Nine Realms, but it was surprisingly light in his grasp. Still, Loki could feel its power as it coursed through it and into him, and a plan began to form in his mind – one that would take care of all his problems for good. _Damn anyone who tries to stop me, _he thought, the merest trace of a smile on his face_. Anyone at all._

* * *

Sigyn ran through the vast halls of the palace, trying to get to the throne room as quickly as possible.

After leaving Loki's friends, she had looked everywhere for him – his chambers, the library, even his mother's rooms – with no success. After hours of searching, her hunger had finally been too great to ignore, and she had gone to the kitchens for something to eat, finding Edmund there visiting with Ingrid.

She had questioned him, hoping he had information about Loki, and for once it seemed luck was on her side. He informed her that Loki had been seen leaving Odin's chambers a short time before, heading for the throne room.

Her food forgotten, she had left them immediately and went straight there, hoping to catch Loki before he disappeared yet again. She arrived to find him standing before the throne, dressed in his full regalia and talking to a few of the guards.

"Loki! Oh, I was so afraid you were hurt…" Sigyn sprinted across the room, throwing her arms around his neck. "The others told me what happened. I'm so sorry, love."

"Your Majesty."

Sigyn went stiff at the coldness in his voice, noticing too late that he hadn't made any attempt to return her embrace. She lowered her arms and stepped back. "Pardon?"

"I think you meant to say…_Your Majesty_." His pupils were no more than pinpricks, his eyes flat and emotionless.

She looked him over, truly noticing for the first time Gungnir grasped in his hand. "Your father-"

"Has fallen into Odinsleep. With Thor banished, the rule of Asgard has fallen to me until he awakens."

"So, _you_ are king?" Saying it out loud didn't make it feel any less strange.

"Yes," he said, his eyes flickering to the guards on either side of them. "And as such, I must insist on formality."

"Even with me?" _This isn't real. I've fallen asleep again, and when I wake this will be nothing more than an unpleasant dream. _

"Even with you. We are not married Sigyn, not even promised to one another."

She thought of her packed bag, still sitting on the sofa at the end of Loki's bed."I suppose our plans are on hold then?"

"Yes. For the foreseeable future."

She had only been referring to their planned time away, but the way he looked at her spoke of a deeper meaning, one more permanent. He wasn't just dismissing her for now; he was letting her go forever.

She bit her bottom lip, hard enough that she could taste blood, but she could barely feel it. Her entire face felt numb – she had been so relieved to find Loki safe and unharmed, but his frigid demeanor toward her was bewildering. It was as if an entirely different man had returned from Jotunheim. Being witness to his brother's banishment would have affected him deeply, but this was beyond that. It felt as though Loki was angry at _her_, and Sigyn couldn't for the life of her determine why.

"Have I…have I done something wrong?" she asked, her hands splayed across her chest in an effort to calm her suddenly pounding heart.

"No, _I_ have," he said, leading her down the stairs and away from the guards. "I've led you on for far too long. But it stops today. With my changed circumstances, I will likely be expected to marry. Soon, and someone of…" He paused, searching for the right words. "…e_qual_ station."

"But…but I _love_ you. And you said you love _me_." Sigyn furrowed her brow, certain she was misunderstanding his words.

"To keep you in my bed. An unkindness, perhaps…but effective."

She dropped her gaze from his and stared at the floor; a slap across the face would have been less shocking – and far less humiliating. She grasped at the skirt of her dress, crumpling it in her fists to help disguise their trembling, wishing the floor would crack open beneath her feet and swallow her up.

"I see," she said, but she didn't, not really. She had given Loki everything: her body, her mind, her spirit; yet to him, she had been nothing more than a warm body to keep him company at night. She couldn't believe it – what they'd had felt too _real_ to be a deception. His capacity for cruelty was clearly far greater than she would have thought possible.

"I can give you the rest of the day, but you will need to remove your things from my chambers by this evening."

Raising her eyes to his once more, she hoped to see him smiling, reassuring her that this was all just one ill-timed joke, but his expression held no joy. "Is there nothing I can say?" she asked. "Can we not discuss this?"

"Let's not make this more difficult than it needs to be, Sigyn."

"Of course, Lo-" She stopped herself, swallowing a bitter laugh. "_Your Majesty_." To her mortification, she could feel tears pricking the corners of her eyes, her skin flushed in shame. She was determined he wouldn't see her cry. "If there is nothing else, I would take my leave."

"You may go."

Sigyn curtsied to him, perhaps a little more harshly than was proper, and then spun on her feet, desperate to get distance between them. She allowed herself to look back only once, finding him sitting on the throne, power and arrogance radiating from him even across the room. He was a stranger to her, nothing at all like the man she had fallen in love with, and she wondered if this was the _true_ Loki, kept skillfully hidden from her for so long.

She turned away, her head high and her strides even. She would keep what remained of her pride as long as she could, lest he think she was running from him.

She had just stepped into the corridor when she saw the Warriors Three and Sif approaching, heading to the throne room. Sigyn's control over her emotions was tenuous at best; before they could spot her, she ducked behind a column to avoid them, not trusting herself to be able to handle any sort of conversation with composure. As they passed, she briefly considered warning them of what they would find on the throne, but she stayed hidden. They would find out soon enough.

She waited a few moments to be sure she was alone before she stepped back into the corridor, making her way to Loki's chambers as swiftly as her feet could carry her.

_Breathe in. Breathe out._ Sigyn repeated the words in her head as she walked, her mind spinning with questions she couldn't answer. _I just need to make it to his chambers_. Her hands flexed involuntarily, the effort of keeping her tears at bay making her breaths shallow and sporadic. She stopped frequently, willing herself to keep it together long enough to get her things and leave the palace; once she was home, truly home and alone, she would allow her heartbreak to consume her. _Just a little farther._

The doors to Loki's chambers finally appeared, and what had once been warm and welcoming was now nothing more than a cruel reminder of just how worthless she felt. She had allowed herself to believe that Loki wanted to make this their home together, that he wanted to spend his life with her – yet he had cast her aside with such ease. _Good enough to fuck and use, but not to truly love - and certainly not good enough to marry, especially as king. In all the Nine Realms, there was never a bigger fool than you, Sigyn._

She would have plenty of time to think on everything in the coming week. Her bag was packed, and the queen was already prepared for her absence, since she was meant to be going away with..._him_. Even if that was no longer an option, she wasn't going to waste the opportunity; first thing in the morning, she would ask the queen for some time away, _far_ away from the new king's court. Perhaps she could even go to Vanaheim as she had wanted, that very day if possible.

As she hurried through the room gathering her things, it seemed she hadn't reached the limits of her humiliation. She had brought her belongings to his chambers over months, little by little, and they had accumulated into more than she could easily carry in one trip. She had no more than the single packed bag to transport everything. In frustration, she decided to just pile what she could and then search for a suitable container.

Her clothing, books, toiletries – things that were obviously hers – were thrown in a heap on the floor as quickly as she could find them. It only took a few moments, but finally she stood over the remains of her time with Loki, hoping she hadn't missed anything. She held her hands to her cheeks, glancing around the room before stopping on Loki's wardrobe, still cracked open from before he left for Jotunheim.

The edge of her coronation dress peeked out as it hung there, the pale green fabric shimmering in the dim light. Sigyn crossed the room in a daze, yanking it from the hook and putting her finger through the delicate lace in her haste.

She stared at where her finger had torn through, blinking in disbelief. At once, her body began to tremble, all of the shame, frustration, disappointment, and rage she had so valiantly held in rushing to the surface in an instant. She bent her finger and tugged it down through the fabric, watching it split apart with ease.

The last of her control gave way, and she grasped the dress in both hands, hooking her fingers and wrenching them through the material, every torn thread and snapped seam a perfect counterpoint to her frayed emotions. She didn't even recognize that she'd been screaming until the dress was nothing more than ruined shreds of pale green and gold sparkles at her feet, the endless tears on her cheeks burning her skin.

She stared down at the mess she had made, dizzy and out of breath, and noticed a few drops of blood. She could feel a stinging in her hands, and she turned them over to see that in her rush to destroy the dress, the fabric had cut into her palms. With a sigh, she reached down and rifled through the material, pulling out two long strips to use as makeshift bandages. She would better tend her wounds – both external and internal – when she finally got back to her apartment, but for now she would use what she had.

After she was finished wrapping up her hands, she gathered the rest of the dress in her arms. She considered what to do with it, whether to trash it or burn it, when a more appealing option came to mind. She strode back across the room to Loki's bed. It occurred to her that – even after the countless nights she'd spent in it – she still thought of it as _his_ bed and his alone. With the last of her strength, she threw the dress across the surface, certain he would find it easily when he returned. It gave her a tiny sliver of satisfaction to think that even a heart as cold as his might be moved to see it destroyed as he had destroyed her.

* * *

Many hours later, with his courtly business finished up, Loki made his way to his chambers.

It was going to be a long night spent alone. He had grown accustomed to having Sigyn there with him, but there was no chance that she would be waiting for him this night – he had made sure of that. He thought of the look on her face when he had dismissed her, the horror and devastation she had tried so hard to keep hidden, and for one moment he felt regret before pushing it aside. It wouldn't do to let his feelings get in the way. Any sort of reconciliation now would only delay the inevitable. As much as it pained him, it was better this way; rejecting _her_ before she could reject him.

After his meeting with Sigyn, the looks on the faces of the Warriors Three and Sif when they arrived in the throne room to find _him_ sitting there had cheered him up considerably, though he'd had to disguise his amusement. They had always been Thor's greatest supporters, even to their detriment, and Thor's banishment hadn't changed that. They would be trouble in the coming days; Loki would need to make sure and keep a watchful eye on them.

He had briefly considered setting guards outside his door, as a show of protection, but decided against it. This was no time to appear weak; anyone wishing to do him harm could be easily dissuaded by setting powerful spells on his chambers instead.

The atmosphere in his rooms was cold and uninviting as he stepped in. Sigyn had clearly gone straight there after their conversation and cleared his chambers of everything that belonged to her, just as he'd asked her to. He glanced around. She had been quite thorough; not a trace of her presence remained. It was almost as though he had imagined her very existence.

He conjured a fire in the fireplace, undressing in its glow, needing to rest more than he ever had in his life. He couldn't remember when he'd last eaten anything, and he barely had the energy to prepare for bed.

He hoped sleep – deep, dreamless sleep – would take him quickly, but when he saw what awaited him on his bed, he realized he would be lucky to get any rest at all.

He was confused at first, not grasping what he was looking at, before recognizing the fabric. Sigyn's coronation dress – or what remained of it – was scattered across the surface, taunting him with its presence. It was an obvious message of pain and loss, and any remaining hope he may have harbored of being able to reconcile with her evaporated in an instant.

The ruined bodice of the dress lay across his pillow, and he reached over to it, lifting it up to breathe in her scent, burning it into his memory. Her belongings were gone but her essence remained, absorbed into every surface of his chambers, into his very being, and he realized belatedly that he would _never_ be rid of her. When she left, she had taken more than just her things; she had taken his heart as well, with no hope of it being returned.

He could already feel the emptiness inside of him beginning to harden. It had been a mistake, letting her get close – one he was determined to never make again.

Looking back to the bed, Loki put his hands out before him, twisting them until they were palm up. Every last scrap of the dress rose from the bed, spinning into a tangle of fabric. He watched it for a moment before balling his hands into fists with a grimace. Flames erupted in the air around the dress, consuming it completely and cauterizing what was left of the wound where his heart had once been.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you so much for all of the kind words/reviews/favorites/follows - I appreciate all of them more than you know. :) **


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: My heartfelt thanks to all of you faithful readers - and welcome to my new readers/followers! Your comments and support mean more to me than I can express. It's funny, when I originally outlined this story, I figured it would be 15 chapters, max - and now look. Twenty chapters in and my muse keeps spitting new things at me. 3 Also, you can find more for this story (including a racier version of Chapter Nine and commissioned illustrations) on my Loki-centric blog on Tumblr - asgardianruminations :)**

* * *

"Sigyn. Sigyn, wake up."

A man's voice and a warm hand on her cheek pulled Sigyn to consciousness. "Loki?" she asked on reflex.

"It's Edmund."

Sigyn turned toward the voice, nearly rolling off her sofa as she did so, and it all came rushing back to her: Loki's dismissal, her hurried removal of her things from his chambers, her impassioned destruction of her coronation gown. In her despair, she had somehow managed to find a large box for her things so she wouldn't need to return for anything, determinedly carrying the heavy parcel home by herself. She hadn't wanted to embarrass herself further by asking anyone for help.

It was quite late by the time she had made it home to find the apartment deserted, Edmund either on duty or spending the night with Ingrid. Sigyn had had no energy to do more than drop the box near the front door and collapse on the sofa. Loki's words – real or imagined, it hardly mattered anymore – had been a hideous lullaby to send her into a restless sleep. _You mean less than nothing to me. I never loved you. You are a worthless fool. _

"Edmund," she said, blinking the sleep out of her eyes to find her brother sitting on the edge of the sofa, worry on his face. "Is it morning?" There was heaviness in her voice, a reminder of the unending tears from the night before. She reached for his shoulder to pull herself to a sitting position. She had a splitting headache – whether from her complete lack of food or her emotional turmoil, she didn't know – and the moment she was upright, a wave of queasiness washed over her. Her empty stomach was the only thing that kept her from vomiting all over the floor.

"Yes, it's morning. What happened to you? And what's this box of your things?"

"Oh, that? It's nothing really," she said, managing a weak smile. "Loki – sorry, _His Majesty_ - decided that I'm no longer worth his time now that he's king. He _did_ give me some unsupervised time to clear his chambers of my presence. It could have been so much worse, you know. He could have insisted guards accompany me like a common criminal."

She started to laugh - a bitter cackle that rapidly devolved into hitched breaths and renewed sobbing. Edmund pulled her close and she collapsed into him, her tears soaking the front of his shirt. "Edmund, I'm such an idiot."

"No, sweetheart, you're not," he said, patting her back awkwardly, uncomfortable with the role of consoler. "This just doesn't make any sense, Sigyn. I really thought he loved you."

"I honestly thought so, too." She pulled back from him, wiping her cheeks and taking a deep breath to calm herself. "I'm glad you woke me. I can't exactly show up for my duties like this."

"Oh Sigyn, Queen Frigga hasn't left the Allfather's bedside since he went into Odinsleep. I don't suppose she'll need your services until he awakens."

This was terrible news; it was essential that Sigyn speak to the queen about going to Vanaheim. If she was unavailable, Sigyn's only other option would be to go to the acting king himself. At that moment, she would have preferred being ripped apart by a wild bilgesnipe to speaking to _him_.

"Here," said Edmund, rising up from the sofa. "I'll make us some tea and we can talk."

"You're terrible at making tea."

"Well, I'm even worse at comforting a crying woman. At least let me try, would you?" Without thinking, she reached for his outstretched hand, having completely forgotten about the blood-stained strips of fabric wound around her palms.

He turned her hand over in his with a scowl, ignoring Sigyn's hiss as he pulled the fabric away. "What is this? Did he _hurt_ you?"

"No," she said with a sigh. "Well…not physically, anyway. _This_ was all my doing. In my anger, I might have…uh…destroyed my coronation dress and left it for him." She bit her lip, suddenly all too aware that the new king may have taken serious offense to such an act.

By the look on Edmund's face, it was clear he was thinking much the same thing. "Do you think that was wise?"

"Probably not, but it's a bit late now," said Sigyn. "Besides, if he'd wanted me dragged away for punishment, it would have happened by now. He knows where to find me."

Edmund went to the kitchen to start the kettle boiling, and Sigyn excused herself to freshen up. Her body was aching all over – likely from spending the night on the cramped sofa – and all she really wanted to do was fall into her bed and go back to sleep. Perhaps when she woke again she would be in Loki's bed, curled up in the crook of his arm, safe from all hurt and heartbreak. Right where she thought she had belonged.

Instead, she went into the washroom, wincing as she pulled the rest of the fabric from her hands. The cuts weren't as bad as she'd thought they were the night before, but fresh bandages would be essential to make sure they didn't get infected. She searched through the washroom cabinet, coming up empty. She would just need to sneak into the palace later and get Ingrid's help, have her make some sort of poultice to hasten the healing process. Her familiarity with herbs could be quite useful; Sigyn thought perhaps, if she was lucky, Ingrid would even have knowledge of something to help her sleep.

She splashed a little water on her face to clear her head and ran a brush through her messy hair, trying to improve the reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were still puffy and red, but she felt slightly better, more able to face whatever the day had in store for her.

When she walked back to the kitchen, Edmund was waiting for her at the table. "Edmund, I'm really not sure what to do with myself."

"What do you mean?" he asked, handing her a cup of tea.

Sigyn took a sip; it was stronger than she preferred but warm, and it settled her stomach like a balm. "Well, as much as I love serving the queen, there's really no way I can continue to do so, is there? I can't avoid His Majesty if I'm still serving his mother." It was still difficult to avoid his name.

"I suppose not. Sigyn, I hate to sound selfish, but do you think this might affect my job as well? I can't provide for Ingrid without work."

"Oh, absolutely not, I'll be sure of it. This is between me and…_him_."

* * *

The throne of Asgard was proving to be problematic for its new occupant.

Sleep had not come easily to Loki, and what rest he _had_ been granted was marred by hideous dreams of Sigyn distressed and angry – screaming how much she hated him, how she wished they'd never met, how he was a disgusting monster, deserving of every terrible thing to come his way. Once he'd awakened to find tears on his cheeks, and in his anger he had grabbed a vase – filled with flowers by Sigyn herself not three days past – and shattered it against the far wall of his chambers.

He had needed a distraction – something to take his mind off of her and back to more pressing matters.

Heimdall had been wary of sending him back to Jotunheim, especially alone, but Loki convinced him it was the best course of action. Who better to defuse the rising tension between their realms than the Silvertongue himself? And so, just two days after nearly dying there with his brother and his friends, Loki had once again found himself crossing the wastes of Jotunheim.

Laufey had threatened him the moment he'd laid eyes on him, but Loki's offer of the Casket for Odin's death had caught his attention. Loki almost felt pity for them – so willing to do anything for their source of power, to the point of being blinded by a threat even as he stood before them. It was though he was dealing with children, so easily were they swayed.

He had briefly considered revealing his true nature to Laufey – positioning himself as the lost heir of Jotunheim, returned to his true home – but had decided against it. There was no need for the jotun king to believe he had Loki's allegiance. No one would have his loyalty anymore, no one but Loki himself.

The final arrangements had been made and he had returned to Asgard unharmed – only to be struck by Heimdall's withering gaze immediately upon his arrival back to the Observatory.

"What troubles you, gatekeeper?"

"I turned my gaze upon you in Jotunheim, but could neither see you nor hear you. You were shrouded from me like the Frost Giants that entered this realm."

Loki assured him that nothing was amiss – that perhaps Heimdall's senses had merely weakened after his many ages of service to Asgard – but the gatekeeper remained unconvinced, accusing Loki of trying to hide something from him. True of course, but Loki couldn't admit that. He decided to try a new approach.

"You have great power, Heimdall. Did Odin ever fear you?"

"No."

"And why is that?"

"Because he is my king, and I am sworn to obey him."

"He _was_ your king…and you are sworn to obey _me_ now. Yes?"

Silence stretched out to near discomfort before he answered. "Yes."

"Then you will open the Bifrost to no one – until I have repaired the damage that my brother has done."

Loki could sense Heimdall was watching him carefully as he left the Observatory, waiting for a chance to prove his suspicions correct, but Loki knew he was hamstrung by his overwhelming sense of duty to the realm and its king. Or so he thought.

Not even an hour later, a visibly frightened guard found Loki on his way to his chambers, bearing news he should have been expecting. The Warriors Three and Sif were missing. There was only one place in the Nine Realms they would be heading, and as he stepped onto his private balcony, Loki's suspicions were confirmed. As he watched, the Bifröst opened up once again, transporting his brother's traitorous friends to Midgard.

His fury had consumed him, his actions becoming more and more desperate as the moments passed: releasing the Destroyer from the weapons vault to take care of his brother and his friends once and for all; secreting the Casket away, using it to freeze Heimdall outside the Observatory and then opening up the Bifröst to Jotunheim; escorting Laufey and his men to the palace – sending them to Odin's chambers but staying back himself, under the pretense of collecting the Casket while they held up their end of the bargain. And finally, concealing himself until the moment he could strike the final blow.

Watching Laufey strike Frigga as she fought to protect her husband was the only time he truly felt any fear, and had Laufey not ignored her for the bigger prize, Loki would have revealed himself immediately to ensure her safety. Regrettable as it would be, he could live with Odin's death, but if any harm came to his mother, every soul on Jotunheim would know just how truly monstrous he could be before he was through with them.

Fortunately for her, Laufey's only goal had been the Allfather – lying prone and helpless in his bed. The giant straddled the smaller man, but instead of killing him immediately, Laufey had instead spoken to his ancient nemesis.

"It's said you can still hear and see what transpires around you. I hope it's true…so that you may know your death came at the hand of Laufey."

He raised his hand to strike, an ice dagger conjured into his palm, but before he could bring it down into Odin's chest, a streak of energy from Gungnir knocked him to the ground. Stunned, he looked up to find Loki standing over him.

"And _your_ death came…by the son of Odin."

Without another word, Loki raised Gungnir once again, erasing his true sire from existence to save the only father he had ever known. He hoped it was enough – enough to finally earn the respect he'd so long desired.

Frigga rose from the floor, miraculously uninjured, and ran across the room to embrace him – her son, her savior. "Loki – you saved him."

"I swear to you Mother, that they will pay for what they have done today-"

"Loki!"

They both turned to the open doorway, to find Thor, very much alive and furious. Frigga pulled away from Loki to embrace her eldest son, returned from exile against all hope. Loki had given up _everything_ for this moment of triumph, and still Thor had managed to ruin it.

"Why don't you tell her," said Thor, his body tense with rage. "How you sent the Destroyer to kill our friends? To kill me?"

Loki backed away, putting Odin between the two of them. "Why, it must have been enforcing Father's last command," he said, knowing even Thor wouldn't believe such a blatant lie but hoping to gain a little time.

"You're a talented liar, brother – always have been."

"It's good to have you back," said Loki, as though proving the truth of Thor's words. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to destroy Jotunheim." Before Thor could react, Loki blasted him squarely in the chest with a burst from Gungnir, sending him straight through the outer wall to fall to the ground far below.

He ran from the room, ignoring his Mother's protests and running as swiftly as he could to the Bifrost. Thor may have been stunned, but Loki held no illusions that he had been seriously injured. He only needed to make it to the Observatory before him.

If he did, there was no way Thor would be able to stop what he had planned – the complete and utter eradication of Jotunheim from Yggdrasil itself.

* * *

It had been long day spent moping in her apartment, but Sigyn hadn't dared go back to the palace until late evening, hoping that the new king had already retired to his chambers. She looked forward to the day when she would be able to face him with her head held high, but it was still too soon, and she was weary of crying.

Edmund had assured her that he would get a message to Ingrid, telling her to expect her, and it seemed he had been true to his word. She was waiting for Sigyn in the kitchens, already busy preparing an herbal remedy for her when she arrived.

"There you are!" she said, running to her and gathering her in a warm embrace. "Edmund said you were hurt, but he wouldn't go into detail. He said he'd let _you_ tell me what happened."

Sigyn held her hands out, palm up, grimacing at Ingrid's gasp. "I did something foolish last night. I let my emotions get the best of me, and…well…_this_ happened."

"What in the Nine? How did you do this?" She pulled Sigyn over to the counter, pushing her into a seat while she went back to her preparations.

"Edmund didn't tell you anything at all?"

"No, nothing."

Sigyn shouldn't have been surprised that Edmund would leave any explanation entirely to her. The last thing she wanted was a lengthy description of the events to Ingrid – everything was still too fresh, and despite the pain in her heart, even Sigyn knew that speaking ill of the king to a member of his household staff was a terrible idea. She took a deep breath. "His Majesty released me from the burden of his companionship, and I took it badly."

Ingrid was agape, the herbal concoction she was preparing completely forgotten. "Oh, Sigyn," she said, her eyes wide. "You, uh…you need to talk to him. This must be some sort of misunderstanding."

"I assure you, there was no misunderstanding, Ingrid. He was quite clear about his feelings for me…or lack thereof."

"No. No, no, no – that's not possible. He loves you, I know he does. Everyone knows he does." If Sigyn hadn't known better, she would have said Ingrid almost looked _afraid_.

"Don't worry," said Sigyn. "This won't impact your employment here, if that's what's worrying you." It came out sounding more irritable than she had intended. She understood Edmund's lack of tact, but Ingrid was the closest she had to a real female friend. A bit more sympathy for her pain would have been nice.

"I'm not worried about that," said Ingrid, grasping Sigyn by the shoulders. "I'm worried about you."

"I'll be fine, really," said Sigyn, bemused by Ingrid's sudden over-investment in her relationship with Loki. "My heart will heal in time; it's my hands that need more urgent attention."

"Right," said Ingrid. She turned back to the cutting board, her hand on her mouth, her eyes flitting about nervously. For a moment, she looked as though she wanted to say more, but she shook her head instead, gathering the chopped herbs and throwing them in a mortar for grinding.

"Ingrid, what is it? If you want to say something, have out with it. It can't possibly be worse than what I've already heard over the past two days."

"Sigyn, I-I…I need to tell you-"

The door to the kitchen slammed open, cutting off whatever she was going to say. Another kitchen maid, one Sigyn didn't recognize, stood in the doorway, her breath ragged.

"Come quickly – something's happening at the Observatory!"


	21. Chapter 21

For the second day in a row, Sigyn found herself running through the halls of the palace because of Loki. She knew she should no longer care about him or what he was doing, but her feelings for him were still too strong to be set aside so easily. She had to know he was safe, even if his concern for _her_ happiness was nonexistent.

The wind was intense as she and Ingrid stepped out onto a high balcony; a large piece of metal – ripped directly from the façade of the palace – flew past, barely missing Sigyn's head. Carefully, she ran to the balcony edge, her hands digging painfully into the balustrade as she watched the sight before her in horror.

The pulses of energy running through the Bifröst were the most intense she had ever seen, the beam of light emanating from the Observatory almost painful in its brightness. It was too far away to make out who might be in it, but she didn't need visual confirmation to know Loki was among them.

There were several other palace workers standing around, watching with wide eyes. Sigyn made her way to a group of them, hoping someone would have an answer to reassure her.

"What's happened?"

"I heard a crash earlier, and saw Prince Thor falling from up there," said a young page, pointing up to a gaping hole in the wall of one of the palace columns. "Not long after, Prince Loki rode by on a horse, heading out to the Observatory as fast as he could."

"Prince Thor? Are you certain?" Sigyn wasn't sure how many people knew of Thor's banishment; surely this poor page was mistaken.

"Yes, my lady. He flew past just a moment ago, heading to the Observatory himself. There's no one has a cape like that one."

"By the nine," said Sigyn. "Shouldn't someone go check on them? They might be in danger."

Before anyone could answer, Sigyn caught movement in the corner of her eye. She watched in amazement as a golden cape flew past; Odin himself, awakened from his sleep and hurrying to help his sons. She breathed a sigh of relief, knowing the Allfather would ensure everyone's safety.

No sooner had the thought crossed her mind, when the Observatory exploded.

* * *

Loki had never felt such rage in his entire long life. If only Thor hadn't been so eager to take revenge, if only Thor's friends could have left him on Midgard a little longer, if only he'd had the chance to carry out his plans unimpeded, if only, if only…it was maddening.

He had reached the Observatory ahead of his brother, in plenty of time to open the Bifröst and all its power onto Jotunheim. Using the Casket, he had frozen it open, comforted by the knowledge that there was nothing to stop the annihilation of the jotuns' home – and with it, any remaining evidence of his true heritage.

But any comfort he'd gained had been itself eradicated with Thor's arrival at the Observatory.

_You can't destroy an entire race_, he'd said. This – from the man who had very nearly tried to do just that not three days prior – incensed Loki more than anything. Only three days' time, spent in the company of _Midgardians_ of all people, had changed his brother so completely he could scarce recognize him. And now that Loki had finally embraced the war culture that was so highly prized in Asgard, he was going to be told it was _wrong_?

"I don't know what happened to you on Midgard to turn you so _soft_. Don't tell me it was that woman!"

Thor said nothing; the look on his face was all the reply Loki needed.

"Oh, it was!" This shocked Loki more than anything. Three days spent on Midgard, and in that short span of time some insignificant woman had managed to teach his insufferable brother more humility than all the years of Loki's patient consultation. Whatever sorcery she so clearly possessed, Loki had to know more; and if she was destroyed in the process, the Nine Realms would be all the better for it.

"Well maybe, when we're finished here…I'll go pay her a visit_ myself!_"

Enraged, Thor leapt into the air, his hammer aloft. Loki's own fury was overpowering, his need to win at all costs devouring the final vestiges of his sanity so completely he could barely feel anything, emotionally or physically.

They fought like madmen, first inside and then outside the Observatory, even as its power built to hazardous levels. Just a bit longer and nothing – not Loki's considerable skills in magic or Thor's strength – would be able to stop it.

But then Thor – blessed, infuriatingly _perfect_ Thor – had done the one thing Loki hadn't counted on. He'd taken Mjölnir and began to destroy the bridge itself.

At first, Loki was stunned into inaction, not believing his brother would have had the tenacity to do such a thing, before finally getting to his feet and sprinting down the Bifröst, Gungnir poised to strike the final blow.

Loki was nearly to Thor – so close he could almost convince himself he was going to reach him in time – when the bridge finally gave way beneath one final swing of Thor's hammer. Having nowhere else to go, the energy that was usually focused in the Bifröst suddenly burst outward, and they were both thrown far into the air. As they fell, Thor was somehow able to grab one end of Gungnir as Loki grasped the other, and Loki thought that if they were going to die, at least they would die together.

Just before they cleared the ruined end of the bridge completely, however, they came to a sudden stop, and Loki looked up to find Odin himself holding Thor by his leg. It was appropriate, really – Odin at the top, controlling who would and wouldn't survive for power, holding the chosen one, the golden son, and Loki left at the bottom trying desperately to hold on.

He looked up past his brother, into the cold eyes of Odin. "I could've done it Father, for you! For all of us!" Loki yelled, desperate for some measure of reassurance that it hadn't all been in vain.

"No, Loki."

Just two simple words, and with them, Loki felt the last ounce of fight in him seep away. An eerie calm settled over him, and he could see the horror in Thor's eyes as he realized what Loki was about to do.

"Loki, no!"

In the end, it was easy. He'd already lost everything – not only the family he'd always known, but also the potential family he'd hoped to create for himself. He looked once more at his brother, relaxed…and let go.

* * *

Sigyn couldn't reach the Bifröst fast enough. She ran down through the corridors, pushing and shoving anyone who got in her way. Just as she reached the courtyard, she saw Odin and Thor approaching, alone. Shockingly, Thor was crying, grasping something shiny in his hands so tightly it took Sigyn a moment to figure out what it was.

Loki's helmet.

Sigyn pulled in a sharp breath to cry out, but her vision blurred and darkness claimed her instead.

* * *

The days after passed for Sigyn, but not in the normal way, if there was such a thing. Her waking hours were spent in a daze. The court's business had come to a standstill, and as such, the queen had not needed Sigyn's services. It was just as well, as Sigyn was in no shape to be much help. Grief had consumed her; her body ached near constantly, she couldn't keep any food down, and an overwhelming fatigue had settled into her so completely she could barely keep her eyes open for any length of time. Every night she would find herself lying in bed for hours, intermittently weeping and screaming into her pillow, desperate for sleep but afraid to close her eyes lest she dream of Loki.

The official story from the palace was the Loki had been defending Asgard from another jotun attack, this time through the Bifröst itself. A magic spell gone wrong had caused the destruction of the Observatory, and in the ensuing explosion, neither the Allfather nor Thor – hastily returned from his banishment – was able to save him. The only thing they had recovered was his helmet.

Sigyn knew the truth was more than that, though no one had explicitly told her so. She was questioned at length about the days leading up to Loki's death by Odin himself, and he seemed genuinely frustrated that she had nothing new to had to what he had already learned from others. Whatever secrets Loki had been keeping, he had kept them from her just as easily as he had everyone else, and it was that fact – the ease with which he had deceived her – which she found the most upsetting. She couldn't help but wonder if he had ever been truthful to her at all.

But in her heart she wanted to believe he'd loved her, no matter what his actions and words had been, and one week after Loki's death, during his memorial celebration, the queen had come to her with news that seemed to confirm exactly that.

Sigyn was sitting at the banquet table, trying to muster up the enthusiasm to participate in the revelry, when she felt the soft hand of the queen on her shoulder.

"Walk with me, Sigyn."

She had followed the queen at once, desperate to get away from the merriment and carousing surrounding her. Even in a state of mourning, the Aesir were not ones to pass up an opportunity for drinking; no one cared to consider the feelings of a bereft young woman, lonely for her lost love.

"Your Majesty, forgive me. I've been so preoccupied with my own sorrow I haven't made the proper effort to offer my condolences for your loss."

"There is no need to apologize," said Frigga, steering Sigyn away from the crowd and toward a bench in a quiet alcove. "You and I are mourning him in very different ways. The pain you are experiencing is no less real for you than mine is for me."

"I almost feel as though I don't have the right to mourn him at all," said Sigyn. "It isn't as though we were married. We weren't even promised to one another."

"That's actually why I wanted to talk to you, Sigyn. I spoke to your brother, and he told me what happened between you and Loki before his death."

Sigyn took in a sharp breath. "Your Majesty, it all happened so fast. I hadn't even had the chance to process everything before, before…" She motioned with her hand, indicating the memorial feast still underway around them.

"Quite frankly, I've had a difficult time processing it myself. I told you once that Loki was a very passionate man, how when he was set on something that nothing would stand in his way. That applied to every aspect of his life, and in my opinion – as a mother who in some ways knew him better than he even knew himself – his mind and heart were set on _you_."

"I feel you speak the truth, and I want nothing more than to believe you, but it's so hard to trust your words." She didn't have the heart to tell the queen just how harsh Loki had been, how emotionless he had seemed when she last spoke to him.

"Well, I have something that I hope will set your mind at ease." Frigga reached into a discreet pocket on the side of her dress and pulled out a small velvet pouch. "In gathering some of Loki's belongings for tonight's celebration, Thor found these in Loki's desk. I think they will be of great interest to you."

She took Sigyn's hand in hers, emptying the pouch into her upturned palm. Two rings spilled out, identical in every way but size. They were fashioned from bright gold, the intricately engraved image of Gungnir – a reverent symbol of the house of Odin – encircling the surface of each. One was much smaller than the other, and Sigyn gasped as she realized what they were.

Frigga picked up the larger of the two, and held it at an angle. "Look inside."

As Sigyn peered closer, she could make out a single engraved word on the inside of the band: _Sigyn._ Without touching the smaller ring, she knew what she would find engraved in it. _Loki._

Sigyn burst into tears, nearly dropping the rings as her body was wracked with sobs. She looked at the queen, trying to divine some sort of understanding. "I don't understand…why? Why would he dismiss me if this was his intention all along? You say you knew him better than anyone – why would he do that?"

The queen wiped a tear from Sigyn's cheek, her countenance sorrowful. "My darling girl, the pressure he was under was so great. Losing his brother to banishment, nearly losing his father – then to be handed the throne of Asgard? Whatever his reasons for letting you go, he must have felt he was doing what was best for you both."

"I'm sure you're right," said Sigyn, even as her mind insisted there had to be more she didn't know. Frigga was still her queen, and Sigyn's sense of duty wouldn't allow her to question what she was being told. She looked at the rings in her hand. "I won't wear them of course, but if you would allow it, may I…may I keep these?"

Frigga closed Sigyn's hand over the rings. "Of course. I think Loki would have wanted that."

* * *

After her conversation with the queen, Sigyn stayed a while longer; however, she knew the celebration would continue until the wee hours of the morning and she'd had more than enough. She found Edmund to tell him she was leaving, and he insisted that he and Ingrid accompany her home. Though he hadn't said it in so many words, Sigyn knew he was afraid to leave her alone for too long.

She bade Edmund and Ingrid good night the instant they arrived at the apartment, excusing herself to her room. She was tired of keeping up her brave face around others; she was on the verge of another breakdown, and wanted relative privacy for when it finally hit her.

She changed into her nightclothes, making sure to retrieve the rings from her dress before crumpling into the bed. They were so tiny, but the weight of everything they represented made them feel impossibly heavy in her hand. They had confirmed Loki's love for her, and yet their existence posed so many more unanswerable questions; Sigyn thought she would go mad if she lingered on them for too long.

When sleep finally claimed her, it was deep and blessedly dreamless.

Opening her eyes the next morning, her gaze immediately settled on the box containing the things she had removed from Loki's chambers, still sitting in the same spot it had been in all week. The pain had been too fresh for her to go through any of it before, but she could no longer put it off. She would mourn him and what they could have had for the rest of her life, but it was time to start the process of moving on.

She put the box on her bed and began pulling things out: clothing, toiletries, books, and various other items that meant everything and nothing at once. The shawl he had conjured for her the night of the queen's birthday celebration was near the bottom, and as she picked it up, a jar fell from inside of it.

It contained the contraceptive herbs she had been so faithful about using. She had laughed once with Loki about them, telling him that if he was such a powerful sorcerer, he had to know of some spell he could use instead. His answer had surprised her. _Well, yes…but I've never used it more than three times on the same woman. I'm too fearful of permanent damage if I used it more often, Sigyn. _At the time, the thought that perhaps he'd want to have children with her one day had made her happier than she could express; now it was just another painful reminder of what had been taken from her.

The jar was still quite full, and rather than waste the contents, Sigyn decided to see if Ingrid could use them instead. She found her in the kitchen with Edmund.

"Is everything all right?" Edmund asked, rising from his chair.

"It's nothing," said Sigyn. "I was just going through some of my things, and I found these." She held the jar out to Ingrid. "I obviously won't need these anymore. I thought perhaps you could use them."

"Oh, oh yes," said Ingrid, taking the jar from her hand.

She could feel the all-too familiar sting of tears once again forming in her eyes. "Forgive me," she said, turning back to her room. "I'm just so exhausted." She had barely closed the door behind her when she heard a soft knock.

She opened the door to find Ingrid on the other side, holding the jar of herbs. Her hand was trembling violently as she held them out. "These herbs…they're not what you think they are."

Sigyn looked at her, confused. "What are you talking about?"

"I wanted to tell you, I even started to last week in the palace kitchens before everything happened, and then there wasn't an appropriate time, and oh, your mother is just so intimidating-"

"My mother? Ingrid, you're not making any sense."

Ingrid took a deep breath, blowing it out forcefully before speaking again. "She asked me to switch them out. Sigyn, _these_ herbs are useless."

Sigyn's hand flew to the doorframe to help keep her upright, all of the blood rushing from her face. "What are you saying, Ingrid?"

"I'm _so _sorry, sorrier than I could ever say, but Sigyn – I think you might be pregnant."


End file.
